I have just had a flu shot. As I have a fear of needles, I tend to get quite dizzy and sweaty beforehand, and it takes me a couple of minutes for me to recover afterward. I’m sitting in a chair when the woman who gave me the shot comes over. 

Woman: “You didn’t say you were allergic to eggs?”

Me: “I’m not.”

Woman: “Well, you are. It’s very stupid that you didn’t tell the truth. Now I’m going to have to phone for an ambulance.”

Me: “No, I’m just feeling a bit sickly. I’m not allergic to eggs.”

She is already on the phone talking to someone saying “how stupid” I am. By the time an ambulance arrives, I’m already better and trying to leave, but the woman is refusing to let me. When the paramedics come in, I’m forced onto a gurney while the woman talks over me.

Paramedic: “Okay, the pharmacist says you have an egg allergy. Did you know before having your shot?”

Me: “I do not have an egg allergy!”

Paramedic: “Are you certain?”

Me: “Do I look like I’m having a reaction? I’ve had these shots every year of my life, and if you don’t believe me, I had three eggs in the cafe next door for breakfast. Ask them!”

The paramedic checked me over just to be sure before leaving. I was left alone with the woman. She tutted at me and disappeared through a door. I’m never going back.

We are three weeks into lockdown. I am stacking shelves when a grumpy old man grumbles down the aisle.

Grumpy Old Man: “This is ridiculous! You have nothing left!”

Me: “We do have lots of supplies, sir. We are limiting the quantity customers can each purchase, and we have new stock that just arrived and we’re trying to get it all out as fast as possible. If you’re looking for something specific, I can go check the back for you.”

Grumpy Old Man: “This is all an overreaction! You young people are too scared! In the Blitz, we didn’t lock down or hide at home! We walked the streets with our heads up, proud and unafraid!”

A younger man in the same aisle speaks up.

Younger Man: “The bloody bombs weren’t contagious, you f****** eejit!”

My store sells helium balloons. As a complementary service, if you purchase the balloons from us we will blow them up from you free of charge. We aren’t allowed to blow balloons up from external companies or other shops, even if the customer offers to pay.

Whenever we run out of helium, we take down all the balloons and put them behind the nearby electronics desk. It’s largely to stop customers being disappointed at not getting their purchased balloons blown up and complaining or asking for goodwill. It’s also to stop us having to refund every customer’s balloons and wasting time. A woman approaches the desk.

Customer: “Hi. Do you have any helium balloons? The stand is empty.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry but we’re out of helium so we don’t have the balloons out right now.”

Customer: “Oh. I have a helium tank at home so I don’t mind buying them and doing it at home. I really need them for tomorrow for my son’s birthday.”

Me: “Oh, well, that’s fine, then. If you follow me, I can get the box and find the balloons you like.”

We both start to walk towards where the box is kept at the desk.

Customer: “So, I’m assuming I get a discount on the balloons due to the fact you aren’t blowing them up.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t think we can do that. Head office is very strict about our sale of balloons in relation to the helium. At the end of the day, us blowing them up is a complimentary service. I can ring a manager to double-check, I guess?”

We reach the electronics desk and she asks for a specific balloon, which I hand to her. I ring a manager who confirms what I told the customer: that we cannot discount balloons just because we’ve temporarily run out of helium. I hang up the phone and turn to the customer.

Me: “I’m sorry, but he’s confirmed that I can’t give you a discount.”

She glares at me and sighs.

Customer: “Are you sure?!”

Me: “Yes, I’m sure. I’m sorry but it’s company policy. I can’t override it.”

Early on in this interaction, I felt bad for her, since it was for her toddler’s birthday party. I had planned on giving her a few of our “£1” coupons to apologise and essentially give her her discount. The coupons are generic so it wouldn’t have flagged on the system and the manager would have been none the wiser, and the woman would be happy. However, she is so insistent on the discount, I tell her twice more that there’s nothing I can do. A couple of minutes later, she hands back the balloon I’d given her.

Customer: “You know what, I’m just going to drive to [Same Supermarket the town over] and get the balloons off of them. They’ll blow it up for me. Thanks for nothing!”

With that, she walked away to purchase the rest of her shopping. I still don’t get why she made a big deal out of the helium, when she stated she had a tank at home she could use, nor why she figured driving ten minutes away to the same supermarket — therefore still giving our company money — just to have them blown up would save her any money or time!

I’m working by myself at my coffee shop, and I have a customer come up and put one of our premade meal boxes on the counter. I ring it up.

Me: “Anything to drink today, sir?”

Customer: “I’ll have a medium mocha.”

Me: “All right, would you like whipped cream on that?”

Customer: *Aggressively* “I’ve literally never been asked that before for that drink.”

Me: *Taken back* “Oh, most baristas usually ask that since not everyone wants whipped cream on their mochas.”

Customer: “I don’t want a mocha!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I want a latte with mocha!”

I am internally thinking that that’s literally what a mocha is.

Me: “Oh, okay, sorry. One latte with mocha.”

Customer: “I don’t want mocha in that!”

Me: “Wait, sorry. One medium, regular latte?”

Customer: “Yes! And don’t put whipped cream on it!”

Me: “Okay… that’s [total].”

The customer pulls out a debit card and pays with that.

Me: “Would you like a receipt?”

Customer: “Does it show how many points I have on my [Store Card]?”

Me: *Internally screaming* “You didn’t get points for that because you paid with your debit card…”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I should have gotten points for that no matter what I paid with!”

Me: “I could refund your debit card and charge it to your [Store Card] if that’s all right.”

Customer: “It isn’t, but fine.”

Me: “All right, would you please put your debit card back in the chip reader?”

Customer: “You seriously mean I have to take my card back out?”

Me: “Um… Yes, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Fine.”

We finished the refund and recharged it to his store card, and I was able to make his drink without any more problems, but seriously, dude?

I work for a landscape design company in southern Arizona. I have a client who lives here during the winter when it is much warmer than their main home, which is Seattle. 

We are installing a landscape. It starts raining and we tell our crews to leave the site and quit for the day as the ground is becoming very muddy; plus, it is cold outside and we don’t want them to get sick.

The client calls me, speaking in an irate voice.

Client: “Why is the crew leaving? It is only 11:00 am.”

Me: “We told them to stop for the day due to the rain. Since it is cold outside, they could get sick. Also, because of the bare dirt in the yard, if it gets muddy they could make ruts in the yard, making more work for us and costing you more money to repair the damage.”

Client: “Workers where I am from work in the rain all the time.”

Me: “Well, that may be true, but when it gets above 90 degrees, are workers where you are from still working or do they quit for the day? Our crews here work many days in heat above 110 degrees.”

There is a long pause, and then he finally speaks before hanging up.

Client: “Well, they’d better finish on time.”

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