It is 2012, and I am heading downtown with a good buddy. He is blind — obviously so, as he uses a red and white cane. He has told me before that he often gets stopped by religious folks who want to pray over him, but I have never seen this happen until now.

We are waiting for the train, and he is standing next to me, holding his cane with one hand and lightly touching my elbow with the other.

I see a stranger who is apparently making a beeline for us. He is neatly dressed in a suit and is wearing a very large wooden cross.

Stranger: “Oh, you poor, poor boy!”

He suddenly reaches out without warning and puts both hands on my friend’s head.

Stranger: “Oh, Lord! See this poor blind boy! I implore you to heal him and give him sight so that he might see the glory of your creation, in Jesus’ name, amen!”

He pauses, obviously waiting for an “amen” or something from us. I am flabbergasted at this whole situation.

My friend lets go of my elbow, reaches out, and grabs the stranger’s coat sleeve.

Friend: *Shouting* “Oh, Lord, see this pushy, obnoxious a**hole who thinks he knows better than anyone! So what if I am blind? You made me that way! This jerk didn’t even bother asking if I wanted to be healed! He just assumed! Oh, Lord, I implore you to smite him, so that he might learn the error of his ways!”

I am dying laughing. The stranger looks a mixture of furiously embarrassed and massively pissed off. The people standing around us are also pointing and laughing. The stranger yanks his sleeve out of my friend’s grip and runs off. There is a smattering of applause.

Friend: *To me* “That kind of stuff used to really embarrass me and piss me off, and I didn’t know what to do about it. Then, I realized that it was way more fun to try and turn the tables and embarrass them.”

There’s a long pause.

Friend: “I am not religious, by the way. It just seems to work better if I pretend that I am. I figure that eventually, word will get around and they will leave me alone.”

A well-dressed lady in her fifties enters our antique shop.

Me: “Hello and welcome. I will have to ask you to wear your mask, please.”

Customer: “Hmph! I don’t believe in those. Haven’t you heard? They put 5G chipsets in the vaccines.”

Me: “Yeah, well… I’m sorry, but we are requested by law to wear masks inside the shop.”

Customer: “The law! Haha! Don’t you know about sub-terrians? They control everything. They eat babies, you know.”

Me: “Yeaaah… well…”

I really don’t know what to say, because she is perfectly calm and polite, so I let her check our items.

Customer: “Do you sell crystals?”

Me: “Sure, we do, right here—”

Customer: “Well, crystals will protect you, but not from aliens. I know. I’ve been abducted you know. I have a chip in my nose. Wanna see?”

Me: “No, thank you. That… must be hard?”

Customer: “I’ve seen things, you know. They hide everything.”

She then proceeded to check all the items and politely leave. Some workdays are amazing.

Due to the ongoing health crisis, everyone in public schools in my state is required to wear face coverings. The community I teach in currently has the highest rate for the disease in question, as well as a large non-compliance level. My coworkers are lax in enforcement of the rules, with many outright insubordinate themselves, making it difficult for those of us that try to enforce the rules appropriately.

Fortunately, there were no repercussions the other day when I instructed a student to put on his mask.

He said he wouldn’t because:

Student: “Masks don’t work, anyway.”

Me: “They don’t work if you don’t wear them. Ask your parents. I’m sure they’ll agree.”

A woman collapsed at my register. Naturally, we rush to get a first aider and call an ambulance. Because she collapsed in front of the register in the middle of a transaction, I had to close the register down and watch her to make sure she didn’t hurt herself more or didn’t get stepped on or run over by other customers.

A customer came over, and in spite of there being plenty of other registers open, he decided he wanted to use my closed register.

Me: “Sir, this register is closed due to a medical emergency.”

Customer: “She’s just drunk. Leave her and come serve me!”

The more I told him to go to another register, the more he laid into the woman, calling her a drunk, a druggie, an attention seeker, etc. The woman really did not look well. I don’t know what was wrong with her, but the paramedics looked worried and rushed her into the ambulance.

The worst part of this is that even if she were a drug addict or drunk, this dude felt she should be left to die so he could buy beer and Doritos. I’m pretty used to some selfish and entitled behaviour, but this one was terrible even for entitled customers.

I am on the train to go back to my parents after a week in boarding school and a ticket inspector passes. He takes the opportunity to check the masks.

Ticket Inspector: “The mask on your nose, please.”

Passenger: “I am not the only one who has it like that!”

The ticket inspector checks.

Ticket Inspector: “That’s right.”

He leaves and I think he’s given up. Suddenly, a voice comes on the speakers.

Voice: “I have a message from the ticket inspector. The nose is the appendage above the mouth. The ticket inspector is going to pass by again in the lanes; if he can put a finger in your nose, you are liable for a 135€ fine.”

Several people put their masks back on correctly!