I’m a personal shopper. If we are out of an item, we will call you and ask if we can sub it with a similar item.

Me: “Hello, Mrs. [Customer], this is [My Name] with [Store] Online Shopping. I wanted to let you know that I finished picking your order, and I was out of [Brand] whole-grain English muffins. I did find some whole-wheat whole-grain English muffins if you would like those, instead.”

Customer: “Oh, no, those won’t do. I can’t have wheat. It makes me sick. Give me the sourdough muffins, instead.”

Me: *Flabbergasted* “Uh… [Brand] doesn’t make sourdough English muffins.”

Customer: “They don’t?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Then give me the plain ones.”

Me: “All right, but those have wheat in them, just so you know.”

Customer: “No, they don’t.”

Me: “They do.”

Customer: “No, they don’t. I can eat them because they don’t have wheat.”

I figure she’s a grown woman; she can make her own mistakes.

Me: “All right, I’ll grab you the plain English muffins.”

Customer: “Thank you. Was that so hard?”

I later tell this to my mom, who is gluten intolerant.

Mom: “Does she not know what wheat is?”

Related:
Gluten Out Of Ten For Ignorance, Part 5
Gluten Out Of Ten For Ignorance, Part 4
Gluten Out Of Ten For Ignorance, Part 3
Gluten Out Of Ten For Ignorance, Part 2

This story is part of our crazy-online-shoppers roundup!

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I’m a personal shopper. I’m putting away an order in the lobby when a woman storms up to me.

Customer: “Where is the manager?”

While I page the store manager over my headset, I see a co-manager head into the parking lot.

Me: “The store manager will meet you at the customer service desk.”

Customer: “Good. Because there’s someone outside panhandling.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Unfortunately, the streets outside my store are a popular spot for beggars, since there’s an ABC (liquor) store right across the street from us. We don’t tolerate panhandling in our parking lot at all. We always give them a chance to leave before we get the police involved. These people know it’s illegal to ask for money in our parking lot, but they keep coming back. Usually, they hightail it once they see an employee. I glance out the window and see the co-manager approaching the panhandler.

Me: *On the wire* “Never mind, [Manager], it looks like [Co-Manager] is handling it.” *To the customer* “It’s being taken care of right now. A manager is talking to them.”

I point out the window. The manager, the panhandler, and another customer are clearly having a discussion in the parking lot.

Customer: “Thank you.”

She leaves. I finish putting my order away and glance out the window. The customer I was talking to has stormed over to the panhandler. She’s clearly yelling, pointing fingers at him, and invading his personal space. My manager has to get between the two to keep them at bay. Our freezer for online orders is broken, and the maintenance guy stops working to watch with me when he realizes I’m not moving.

After a few minutes, the panhandler leaves, the customer comes back inside to do her shopping, and the manager stops in the lobby to talk to the maintenance guy. I go inside. The same customer approaches me again.

Customer: “Did the manager ever come inside with that guy?”

Me: “I believe she got him to leave the premises, but she’s in the lobby right now.”

Customer: “Okay.”

A little while later, [Co-Manager] comes up to me.

Co-Manager: “That woman is crazy.”

Me: “She seemed crazy. I get thinking panhandlers are annoying, but to have that much hatred for them?”

Co-Manager: “I told him if he really needs money, he can always apply for a job with us. He turned me down.”

My grandma is doing her grocery shopping. She pays and moves aside to check her receipt, as the shop has charged her wrong many times before. Today, too, she finds something amiss. She waits until the queue has lightened and then approaches the cashier.

Grandma: “Excuse me, but here is something for 11.47 that I did not buy. Why did you charge me this?”

Cashier: “Ma’am, that’s the time.”

My grandma apologised and left, and she later told me the story while laughing at herself.

For health reasons, we have to keep a two-metre distance between customers and have lines and markers for this. An older lady walks past the line.

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I need you to step behind the line.”

Customer: “What did you call me?”

Me: “Ma’am, I called you ‘ma’am.’ I need you to step behind the line.”

Customer: “No, how would you feel if I called you boy?”

Me: “I need you to step behind the line, and I don’t mind that.”

She gives me an evil look. After the threat of no service, she quickly moves behind the line. She then begins to rant about how she is going to get my supervisor to reprimand me for calling her ‘ma’am.’ Everyone around me looks bewildered. 

I total her shopping and wish her a good day. Whilst I discuss the situation with the next customer and have a bit of a laugh, the lady is talking with my manager and making a complaint about how I called her ‘ma’am.’

Partway through my next transaction, my supervisor pulls me aside and quietly says to me:

Supervisor: “I only have to do this to get her out of the store.”

Then, at a decent volume, my supervisor says:

Supervisor: “Watch who you call ‘ma’am,’ [My Name]. If I have to remind you again, there will be further reprimands.”

The old lady left the store. My supervisor and I and the customers that were waiting to be served all laughed. 

The customer came back in the next week and I only ever said hello to her. She started calling me ‘boy,’ so I politely said that if she continued to call me that, I would no longer serve her and would bring my manager over to resolve the situation. She quickly shut up.

I never saw her again.

I’m a personal shopper at a grocery store. We do our best to have everything in stock, but sometimes we run out of stuff, especially right before trucks come in. We usually have one or two things out of stock on every order. Unfortunately, people seem to think we have some sort of guarantee that everything will be in stock, even though they have to check a button if they want us to substitute any out-of-stock items for a similar item.

A good 90% of our customers are lazy, entitled, self-absorbed snobs whose husbands make some insane amount of money each year and who can’t be bothered to actually come at the scheduled pickup time that they chose, while the rest of our customers are elderly people with mobility issues, young parents with babies, and people who seem to genuinely need this service.

I have just finished shopping a thirty-piece order. The customer’s pickup time — either four or four-thirty — is about an hour away, and the only thing I don’t have in stock is coming in later that evening on the perishable truck. I call her to ask her if she is willing to wait until about six to pick up, so I can grab the item from the truck. If not, then I can offer to get her a different brand so she at least has something rather than nothing, even though she selected “No Subs” when placing the order.

Me: “Hello, Mrs. [Customer], this is [My Name] with [Store] Online Shopping. I was just calling to tell you that I finished picking your order, and the only thing I didn’t have was [item].”

Customer: “Seriously? You’re out of [item]?”

Me: “Yes, but—”

Customer: “You know what? Just cancel the whole order. I’m tired of you guys never having anything. Your store is horrible! Nothing is ever in stock! I don’t know why people shop here! You lost a customer. I’m going to shop at [Nearby Location].” *Click*

Me: “Okay, then. Have fun with that.”

I would feel bad if I didn’t know that the location she mentioned has horrible in-stock percentages — I think close to fifty percent of any given order will be out — and is consistently late with their orders, so much so that a good chunk of our customers came from that location.

This story is part of our crazy-online-shoppers roundup!

Read the next crazy-online-shoppers roundup story!

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