(I have just finished making an iced drink for the customer. It is a blended drink with whipped cream and syrup on top. I pass it over to her but she shakes her head and slides it back.)

Customer: “Oh, no, honey. I wanted the cream and syrup on the bottom.”

(No problem. I grab another cup and use a spoon to take all the topping off and place it in the cup, and then pour the rest of the drink on top. Naturally, the weight of the rest of the drink squashes the whipped cream. Both she and my boss, who is nearby making hot drinks, watch me do this.)

Customer: “Where’s my whipped cream?”

(Thinking maybe we misheard her original order and she wanted extra, I go to add some on top, but she stops me.)

Customer: “No, I want it at the bottom.”

Me: “It is at the bottom. It’s what I put in the cup first. I can remake it, if you like.”

Customer: “No, please don’t waste food. I just want you to add some whipped cream to the bottom of the cup.”

Me: *turning to boss* “I literally don’t know how to respond to this.”

(It’s between Christmas and New Year’s Eve and, as this restaurant is near/on-campus, it’s almost empty. I receive my food and head to a small, secluded area around a corner when I see a employee with cleaning supplies sitting there playing with her phone.)

Me: “Did you already clean here? I could go sit somewhere else.”

(Rather than answering, the employee just gives me a dirty look. I like that spot and it doesn’t appear recently cleaned. So, I sit down nevertheless, take off my winter clothes and start eating when I notice her clearing her throat.)

Employee: “You need to eat somewhere else. I’m cleaning here right now.”

Me: “I’m sorry? I’m certainly not going to stack my food back on the tray and balance it to another table with my winter clothes in my arms while my burger falls apart. That’s why I asked you before sitting down.”

Employee: *calling around the corner* “[Manager]?”

Manager: *comes around the corner shortly afterwards* “Yes?”

Employee: “This customer ignored me when I told him that I’m currently cleaning here! Can you throw him out?”

(I’m just about to respond when the manager interrupts me.)

Manager: *to employee* “Firstly, we don’t throw customers out just because they are sitting somewhere we want to clean and we most certainly don’t call a manager to discuss such an option in front of the customer. But as we’re already here: Cut the crap. Everyone here knows you’re sitting around the corner your whole shift, playing with your phone and pretending you’re cleaning. Honestly, we only let you get away with it because the only thing worse for business than you doing nothing all day is — evidently — you dealing with customers. We were just waiting for you to do something stupid which, I’m happy to say, you just did. You can go home now. We’ll call you tomorrow about your termination.”

(A friend and I are getting dinner at a popular fast food restaurant after a movie. As we are walking in…)

Worker: “I can’t believe this. What is it with the morning people that think they can do this? It’s all a mess!” *he notices me* “Sorry, what can I get for you?”

Me: *jokingly* “Oh, yes, the morning people hate the evening people and the openers can’t stand the closers; it’s always the way of things! We get it!”

Worker: *stares at me for a second* “Worked here?”

Me: “Five years ago, yep.”

Worker: “Haha, nice. What can I get you?”

Me: *orders*

Worker: “I’ll have that right out.”

(As the tray gets filled up, I notice a discrepancy.)

Me: “Um, we paid for medium fries and drinks and these appear to be larges.”

Worker: “I know.”

Me: “Ah… Thanks!”

(We head over to the table and start eating. About halfway through our meal, the worker comes around again, this time with ice cream in a cup, with brownie crumbs spread over the top.)

Me: “Is this even on the menu?”

Worker: “Nope! Enjoy!”

(It’s my last shift at a fast food restaurant before I leave and move to university. My shift ends at the same time we close, which is three minutes away. As it’s so late, I’m the only one serving the drive-through. The customer I’m currently serving has decided to change her order while at the window. Another car comes up to the speaker and I ask them to wait while muting my headphones. Once my current customer drives off, I turn it back on.)

Customer: “…and [Meal] with fries and large [Drink].”

Me: “I’m sorry; I was helping another customer. Could you please start over?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “It’s not my problem if you don’t care about your customers. I’m not repeating myself.”

Me: “Okay, I apologise for my lack of multitasking. Have a nice night.”

(I turn off the headphones and check the clock. My shift is now over, so I do a final clean up. While cleaning, I notice a car outside the window.)

Me: *opening the window* “Sorry, but we are now—”

Customer: “You lazy b****, take my order now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you said you weren’t going to repeat yourself, so assumed you didn’t want to order now. As I said, we are now closed.” *closes the window while she screams at me*

(I go to collect my stuff from the break room, and come out while my manager speaks to the customer who is still at the window.)

Manager: “You don’t seem to be getting it. I can’t fire her.”

Customer: “WHY THE F*** NOT?!”

Manager: “Because she has literally just finished her last shift. She no longer works here.”

Customer: “Oh, well, can I order now?”

Manager: “No.” *closes the window*

(We both laughed while the customer continued to scream. I said goodbye to everyone and sprinted to my car in case the customer saw me. The morning after, I got a text message from the manager who also ended up opening. The customer came back and demanded I be fired. He again said that I wasn’t working there anymore, after which the customer demanded free food, because she was upset she didn’t get her way. Words were said, and he doesn’t think she’ll be coming back anytime soon.)

(I’m doing cash on drive through, and the weather has suddenly decided to storm tremendously. Every time I open the window, rain blows in. A woman drives up. I open the window, and am met with a good splash in the face from her windshield wipers.)

Customer: *laughs* “Oh my, you’re getting all wet!” *does nothing about it*

(I continue to carry out the transaction and hand her food out, all the while taking splash after splash directly in the face.)

Me: “Have a great day, ma’am.”

Customer: “Stay dry!”