You Have To Pay Attention To What They’re Waffling On About

, , , | Right | June 15, 2018

(I work on a market stall which only sells two products: waffles and pancakes. People regularly manage to order the wrong thing and try to blame us for their mistake, so I have taken to repeating orders back to people several times to reduce the amount of wasted products. However, I still get several of these a week:)

Customer: “Pancakes, please.”

Me: “Of course! What would you like on your pancakes?”

Customer: “Ooh, um… chocolate.”

Me: “Okay, and is that just the one portion of pancakes?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “No problem! One portion of chocolate pancakes coming right up. That will be [price].”

Customer: *pays and watches me make the entire order of pancakes from scratch*

Me: *hands over order* “Here you go; have a great day!”

Customer: *stares at order for a minute* “This is wrong. I ordered a waffle.”

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Their Brain Has Melted

, , , , | Right | May 14, 2018

(I work at a farmers market, where I sell popsicles. It’s mid-July and about 30 degrees Celsius [86 Fahrenheit] outside. An elderly woman buys a lemonade popsicle.)

Customer: “So, will this melt quickly in the sun?”

Me: “Yes, yes it will.”

Customer: “Well then, how am I supposed to eat it before it melts?”

Me: “Very quickly, ma’am.”

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They Have A Listening Allergy

, , , , , | Right | February 27, 2018

(I work for a beekeeper selling honey. We have one type specifically for allergies. Honey sticks, however, are pasteurized, and thus have zero allergy benefits.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to buy five honey sticks.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be one dollar.”

Customer: “Thanks. I’d like to try them for my allergies.”

Me: “Oh, well, if you need something for allergies, I’d recommend [allergy specific honey].”

Customer: “Nah, I’ll take the sticks.”

Me: “Well, we sell the sticks for snacks, but they are pasteurized and have no allergy benefits.”

Customer: “That’s fine.” *turns to husband/boyfriend* “Hey, babe, these will help my allergies.”

Me: “Ma’am, these have no allergy benefits; even if they weren’t pasteurized, you’d need to eat at least five a day.”

Customer: “Great! I’ll put one in my tea. That’ll help my allergies then, too, right?”

Me: *stunned* “Suuuure.”

Customer: “Wonderful!” *hands me a dollar*

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You Say Tomato, I Say Fair Price!

, , , , | Right | November 16, 2017

In recent years, a local farm has set up a booth in town to sell their produce. I was in to pick up some of their tomatoes. The owner and a customer were blocking that display. While I waited for my turn, I heard the customer say:

“But I can get tomatoes for ninety-nine cents a pound at [Supermarket].”

I figured the customer was trying to talk the owner down on price so I wandered over to a different display until the customer walked away. Finally, I was able to get my tomatoes.

As I was paying the owner, I said, “This may be all we eat for dinner tonight. Your tomatoes just have more flavor than the ones at [Supermarket]!”

The owner, who is known to be a bit gruff, gave me a genuine smile.

When I turned around, I was face-to-face with the argumentative customer. He was glaring at me. I heard the owner chuckle quietly as I walked away.

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Unfiltered Story #98670

, | Unfiltered | October 23, 2017

(Many years ago me, my family and some friends of our family were visiting France from Denmark. My mom had had French back in high school, but she could only remember a few phrases. One morning my mom and her friend decided to go to a local farmers market. Note, my mom was in her late forties at this time).

Mom: *Wanting to buy some cherries from a young guy and not really think.* Umh.. cheri.

(The farmers market guy was visible blushing while his coworker was laughing hysterically.)

Mom: *Now realizing her mistake, also blushing.* No, no cerise, cerise!

(In the end my mom got her cherries in spite of the language barrier. I feel so sorry for that young guy though. He was probably thinking that this older woman was hitting on him.)