Their Brain Has Melted

, , , , | Right | May 14, 2018

(I work at a farmers market, where I sell popsicles. It’s mid-July and about 30 degrees Celsius [86 Fahrenheit] outside. An elderly woman buys a lemonade popsicle.)

Customer: “So, will this melt quickly in the sun?”

Me: “Yes, yes it will.”

Customer: “Well then, how am I supposed to eat it before it melts?”

Me: “Very quickly, ma’am.”

They Have A Listening Allergy

, , , , , | Right | February 27, 2018

(I work for a beekeeper selling honey. We have one type specifically for allergies. Honey sticks, however, are pasteurized, and thus have zero allergy benefits.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to buy five honey sticks.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be one dollar.”

Customer: “Thanks. I’d like to try them for my allergies.”

Me: “Oh, well, if you need something for allergies, I’d recommend [allergy specific honey].”

Customer: “Nah, I’ll take the sticks.”

Me: “Well, we sell the sticks for snacks, but they are pasteurized and have no allergy benefits.”

Customer: “That’s fine.” *turns to husband/boyfriend* “Hey, babe, these will help my allergies.”

Me: “Ma’am, these have no allergy benefits; even if they weren’t pasteurized, you’d need to eat at least five a day.”

Customer: “Great! I’ll put one in my tea. That’ll help my allergies then, too, right?”

Me: *stunned* “Suuuure.”

Customer: “Wonderful!” *hands me a dollar*

You Say Tomato, I Say Fair Price!

, , , , | Right | November 16, 2017

In recent years, a local farm has set up a booth in town to sell their produce. I was in to pick up some of their tomatoes. The owner and a customer were blocking that display. While I waited for my turn, I heard the customer say:

“But I can get tomatoes for ninety-nine cents a pound at [Supermarket].”

I figured the customer was trying to talk the owner down on price so I wandered over to a different display until the customer walked away. Finally, I was able to get my tomatoes.

As I was paying the owner, I said, “This may be all we eat for dinner tonight. Your tomatoes just have more flavor than the ones at [Supermarket]!”

The owner, who is known to be a bit gruff, gave me a genuine smile.

When I turned around, I was face-to-face with the argumentative customer. He was glaring at me. I heard the owner chuckle quietly as I walked away.

Unfiltered Story #98670

, , | Unfiltered | October 23, 2017

(Many years ago me, my family and some friends of our family were visiting France from Denmark. My mom had had French back in high school, but she could only remember a few phrases. One morning my mom and her friend decided to go to a local farmers market. Note, my mom was in her late forties at this time).

Mom: *Wanting to buy some cherries from a young guy and not really think.* Umh.. cheri.

(The farmers market guy was visible blushing while his coworker was laughing hysterically.)

Mom: *Now realizing her mistake, also blushing.* No, no cerise, cerise!

(In the end my mom got her cherries in spite of the language barrier. I feel so sorry for that young guy though. He was probably thinking that this older woman was hitting on him.)

Their Understandings Are Chalk And Cheese

| USA | Right | December 5, 2015

Me: “Hey, do you want to try this four-year aged cheddar?”

Customer: “Sure!” *tastes cheese* “That’s pretty good. Is it really four years old?”

Me: *sarcastically* “Oh, no, we actually age it like a month and then sell it to you guys. We call it four year aged cheddar for fun.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s so neat! I never would have guessed that.”

(The customer wasn’t sarcastic. I had to explain the process of aging cheese to her.)

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