Forbidden Fruit  

, , , , , | Working | February 21, 2020

(I’m buying some fruit from a stand at the market. The employee is very friendly and helpful throughout my transaction, and he puts me in an excellent mood, until…) 

Employee: “And here’s your change. My bonus today is that I got to touch your hand.” *stares at me and wiggles his eyebrows* 

Me: *walks away feeling gross and no longer enthusiastic about my fruit*

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Purse-uing The Wrong Person

, , , , | Working | October 4, 2019

When I was in high school, I worked at a farmer’s market that operated out of a very small building. In the fall, we would host a pumpkin patch and carnival that always drew a huge crowd. The fields directly behind our building would be opened for overflow parking and packed full on the weekends.

One busy, rainy Saturday, I was standing near one of the registers to help bag things for the customers who were all crowded around the counter. Suddenly, a woman flung her arm in front of my face, gesturing wildly out the door and yelled, “She forgot her purse! That woman forgot her purse!” 

Wanting to be a helpful employee, and hoping to prevent the woman from getting caught in the rain too long without her car keys, I grabbed the bag on the counter and ran to the parking lot, past row after row of parked cars, until I finally caught up to her. As I held out her bag, she looked at me like I had two heads.

“That’s not mine,” she said, staring at me as I mumbled an embarrassed apology, and she got into her car and drove off.

Dumbfounded, I slogged back to our building in the rain, only to find a confused-looking woman at the register, wondering why I had snatched her purse off the counter and tried to give it to someone else. The woman who caused the whole situation by yelling was nowhere to be found.

Luckily, the owner of the purse was understanding after I explained myself, and took her dripping-wet bag and left without complaint. And I learned to always double-check any instructions I was given at that job, just in case!

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Making A Sight Improvement

, , , , | Right | May 27, 2019

(I am working with a friend who has a table at a HUGE local farmer’s market. I’m a woman in my early 20s, and I am decked out in a T-shirt and an old, dirty pair of overalls. Mostly I am giving advice on planting and helping customers with their purchases. Right in front of our table are a pair of exhausted-looking young parents with their SCREAMING two-year-old in tow. She keeps tugging away from them and running off into the crowd. Filthy farmer girl that I am, I go up to them and ask…)

Me: “Mind if I take her off your hands?” *wink* “I could use an extra pair of hands mucking stables.”

Father: “Sure! She’s all yours.”

Mother: *nods*

(I pick up the child and start walking away from the parents slowly. They can still fully see me, but the child can’t see them. After a few yards, she starts shrieking and reaching towards where she last saw her parents. I put her down and watch her race back to them and hold both of their hands tightly, no longer fussing about anything.)

Both Parents: *mouthing* “Thank you.”

(I gave them a nod and they continued shopping, in peace.)

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High! How Are You?

, , , , , | Right | January 25, 2019

(Ringing up a customer:)

Me: “Hi! How are—“

Customer: “Yes, I am.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “I am high!”

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Unfiltered Story #124619

, , | Unfiltered | October 31, 2018

(I was working with a friend who had a table at a local HUGE farmers market. I’m an early 20s female, but i was decked out in a t-shirt and an old, dirty pair of overalls. Mostly I was giving advice on planting and helping customers with their purchases. Right in front of our table a pair of exhausted looking young parents and thier SCREAMING two year old in tow. She keeps tugging away from them and running off into the crowd. Filthy farmer girl that I was, I go up to them and ask…)

Me: “Mind if I take her off your hands? *wink* I could use an extra pair of hands mucking stables.”
Father: “Sure! She’s all yours.”
Mother: *nods*
Me: I pick up the child and start walking away from the parents slowly. (They can still fully see me, but the child cant see them.) After a few yards she starts shrieking and reaching towards where she last saw her parents. I put her down and watch her race back to them and hold both of their hands tightly. No longer fussing about anything.
Both parents mouth “thank you”
I give them a nod and they continue shopping, in peace.

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