High! How Are You?

, , , , , | Right | January 25, 2019

(Ringing up a customer:)

Me: “Hi! How are—“

Customer: “Yes, I am.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “I am high!”

Unfiltered Story #124619

, , , | Unfiltered | October 31, 2018

(I was working with a friend who had a table at a local HUGE farmers market. I’m an early 20s female, but i was decked out in a t-shirt and an old, dirty pair of overalls. Mostly I was giving advice on planting and helping customers with their purchases. Right in front of our table a pair of exhausted looking young parents and thier SCREAMING two year old in tow. She keeps tugging away from them and running off into the crowd. Filthy farmer girl that I was, I go up to them and ask…)

Me: “Mind if I take her off your hands? *wink* I could use an extra pair of hands mucking stables.”
Father: “Sure! She’s all yours.”
Mother: *nods*
Me: I pick up the child and start walking away from the parents slowly. (They can still fully see me, but the child cant see them.) After a few yards she starts shrieking and reaching towards where she last saw her parents. I put her down and watch her race back to them and hold both of their hands tightly. No longer fussing about anything.
Both parents mouth “thank you”
I give them a nod and they continue shopping, in peace.

You Have To Pay Attention To What They’re Waffling On About

, , , | Right | June 15, 2018

(I work on a market stall which only sells two products: waffles and pancakes. People regularly manage to order the wrong thing and try to blame us for their mistake, so I have taken to repeating orders back to people several times to reduce the amount of wasted products. However, I still get several of these a week:)

Customer: “Pancakes, please.”

Me: “Of course! What would you like on your pancakes?”

Customer: “Ooh, um… chocolate.”

Me: “Okay, and is that just the one portion of pancakes?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “No problem! One portion of chocolate pancakes coming right up. That will be [price].”

Customer: *pays and watches me make the entire order of pancakes from scratch*

Me: *hands over order* “Here you go; have a great day!”

Customer: *stares at order for a minute* “This is wrong. I ordered a waffle.”

Their Brain Has Melted

, , , , | Right | May 14, 2018

(I work at a farmers market, where I sell popsicles. It’s mid-July and about 30 degrees Celsius [86 Fahrenheit] outside. An elderly woman buys a lemonade popsicle.)

Customer: “So, will this melt quickly in the sun?”

Me: “Yes, yes it will.”

Customer: “Well then, how am I supposed to eat it before it melts?”

Me: “Very quickly, ma’am.”

They Have A Listening Allergy

, , , , , | Right | February 27, 2018

(I work for a beekeeper selling honey. We have one type specifically for allergies. Honey sticks, however, are pasteurized, and thus have zero allergy benefits.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to buy five honey sticks.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be one dollar.”

Customer: “Thanks. I’d like to try them for my allergies.”

Me: “Oh, well, if you need something for allergies, I’d recommend [allergy specific honey].”

Customer: “Nah, I’ll take the sticks.”

Me: “Well, we sell the sticks for snacks, but they are pasteurized and have no allergy benefits.”

Customer: “That’s fine.” *turns to husband/boyfriend* “Hey, babe, these will help my allergies.”

Me: “Ma’am, these have no allergy benefits; even if they weren’t pasteurized, you’d need to eat at least five a day.”

Customer: “Great! I’ll put one in my tea. That’ll help my allergies then, too, right?”

Me: *stunned* “Suuuure.”

Customer: “Wonderful!” *hands me a dollar*

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