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The Biggest Pest Here Is Not Pesticide

, , , , , , | Right | October 2, 2022

I’m selling strawberries at a farmer’s market. A customer is unsatisfied with the ones she bought yesterday.

Me: “You can have a new box and even taste one before you take it.”

Customer: “Are you stupid? You can get AIDS from eating those without washing them!”

Me: “No, they are not sprayed with anything.”

Customer: “Yes, they are.”

Me: “Are you saying that we spray our strawberries with AIDS?”

Customer: “They are, and I don’t care what you say because I know better.”

Then, she just walked away, leaving me there completely stunned by her ignorance.

She came back the next day telling everyone her husband had gotten AIDS from our strawberries. There was just no getting rid of her. Eventually, she left by herself after about forty minutes.

Don’t You Just Love It When People Make Assumptions?

, , , , , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: carebearninjahair | September 4, 2022

I’m a Hispanic woman with an olive complexion, long black hair, and brown eyes. I’m dressed in a silk blouse, jeans, and red-bottomed heels, having just come from a sales meeting. I am shopping for an Earth Day event for my office at a local farmer’s market nursery in downtown Dallas, so I’m wheeling around a cart full of pots, succulents, mulch, and planting soil. It’s kind of an upscale nursery and frequented by tourists and influencers.

A young Caucasian woman walks up to me and asks me, in broken Spanish:

Woman #1: “On-day pah-gar?”

No biggie, at first. I point to the register area where there are two employees working two registers and a line of about two deep each. She thanks me, again in Spanish, and I think the conversation is over and turn my attention back to the agave plants.

Woman #1: “Ah-blar English-o?”

Me: “Yes, English is my first language.”

She looks surprised and I think she’s probably embarrassed, but then, she asks me:

Woman #1: “Oh, can you ring me up?”

Me: *Politely* “No, ma’am. I don’t work here.”

She does look embarrassed and apologizes.

Later, I set my cart down in an area out of the way since the aisles are pretty narrow and there are potted plant displays, statues, and lawn ornaments I don’t want to risk knocking over. I park the cart and walk about ten feet away to inspect some large urns. I select a couple, and as I’m walking back to my cart, a middle-aged blonde woman is unloading my cart.

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, that’s my stuff!”

She looks at me and continues to unload as I approach her.

Woman #2: “I need this cart.”

I pick up my succulents from the floor and put them back in the cart.

Me: “This one is mine. Go ask an employee for help finding one.”

She looks angry but walks off. I just roll my eyes and think that’s the end of that. I would find it all so comical if it wasn’t so sad. Then, the woman comes back with a very confused-looking manager.

Woman #2: *To the manager* “This woman won’t allow me to use this cart!”

Manager: *To me* “Are you done with the cart, ma’am?”

Me: “No, I’m not.”

Manager: *To the woman* “I can find you another—”

Woman #2: “This place needs to prioritize its customers’ needs over its employees!”

The manager accidentally lets out a snort.

Manager: “She doesn’t work here; she’s shopping, same as you.”

She does NOT appreciate being laughed at and makes a scene, threatening to report the manager’s behavior to the owners. He introduces himself, and it turns out he is actually one of the owners. The woman threatens to take her business elsewhere.

Manager: “There’s a [Home Improvement Retailer] about five miles away.”

The look on her face is priceless.

After she leaves, I’m talking to the owner about the succulents and how best to arrange them when, twice, and without apology, people interrupt us asking for help. Each time, the owner tells them:

Manager: “I’m with a customer, but [Employee] can help you.”

And each time, they looked surprised or taken aback.

I’ve lived in this area for over four decades and have worked in this area for over two decades. It’s always this way.

A Little Wordplay Never Hurt Anyone

, , , , , , | Working | August 25, 2022

In my twenties, I ran my parents’ stand at the farmers’ market. I had lots of regular customers whom I adored. One morning, two of my older regulars, a man and a woman, were shopping. (They weren’t together.)

Old Man: “What shape is this melon in?”

Me: *Feeling silly* “Round.”

The old woman burst out laughing.

Old Man: “Don’t encourage her!”

His Brain Is Neither Local Nor Organic

, , | Right | July 5, 2022

I’m working at a farmer’s market. I’m surrounded by multiple banners touting our certified organic produce, with our address on them.

Customer: “Is your produce organic? And is it local?”

I pointed out our banners, as well as the sign for the product he was asking about, which had “CERTIFIED ORGANIC” right next to the price.

He got mad at me and stormed out of our booth.

We Got There Eventually!

, , , | Right | February 2, 2022

A guy in his mid-fifties came into our farmstand.

Me: “What can I help you find?”

He looked confused.

Customer: “They’re out there, in the field!”

Then, I was confused.

Me: “What, deer?”

We’d seen some in the field in the evenings.

Customer: “Yes! I want some of those.”

Now, I was really confused.

Me: “I can’t sell the deer, sir; they’re wild.”

He was confused again.

Customer: “No, that’s not the word. What I want is round.”

He held up his fingers in a circle. I was even more confused.

Me: “We have lots of roundish things, sir.”

A light went on.

Customer: “Eggs! That’s what it is.”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t sell eggs because we don’t have any chickens.”

The man looked even more incredibly confused.

Customer: “No, they don’t come from chickens. They come from the field! Like I said before! They’re red.”

I was starting to feel like I was in the Twilight Zone.

Me: “Are you asking for tomatoes, sir?”

He lit up and looked very relieved.

Customer: “Yes! Tomatoes.”

He bought several pounds and left, whistling and happy.

He was a local resident. I did wonder if it was a “senior moment” type thing, or a language processing issue or something, or if he was just tired. I know I forget words sometimes, but this seemed like a really extreme form of that.