His Farm’s About To Buy The Farm

| Working | November 10, 2012

(I’m a customer at a small local farmers market where family farms sell their produce. In this case, the teenager running his family’s produce stand is having problems.)

Me: “The spinach is how much?”

Teen Farmer: “$3.”

Me: *hand him a $10 bill*

Teen Farmer: *gives me change of a $10 bill with a wad of $1 bills*

Me: “Here’s your $10 back.”

Teen Farmer: “You gave me a $20?”

Me: “I gave you a $10.”

Teen Farmer: “Oh! Okay, here you go!” *hands me a $20 bill*

Me: *hands it back* “That’s a $20…”

Teen Farmer: *takes it back* “Oh! Sorry!”

Me: *counts rest of change* “Um, I’m still short a dollar.”

Teen Farmer: *finally hands me a single dollar* “Here you go!”

Me: “Thanks! Hey, be careful… you’re gonna put your family out of business!”

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Vegetable Innuendos

| Right | February 20, 2012

(I’m at the farmer’s market selling cucumbers when two little old ladies come up.)

Little Old Lady #1: “Those are some nice cucumbers.”

Little Old Lady #2, to #1: “I’ve got a nice bug cucumber back at home for you.”

Little Old Lady #1, to me: “I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

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Can I Have Some Nuts With That

, , , | Right | October 30, 2010

(The customer spends several minutes staring at a selection of fudge, trying to decide which one she wants. Her daughter is standing in line with her.)

Customer: “Yes, I’d like a piece of caramel chocolate squirrel.”

Me: “Um…”

Daughter: “Mooommm!”

Customer: “What?”

Daughter: “It’s chocolate caramel swirl! I don’t think we want a chocolate caramel squirrel.”

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