Me: “I’d like a hamburger, small fries, and a small [Soda] to go.”

Employee: “A hamburger. Would you like fries with that?”

Me: “Yes, a small fry and a small [Soda] to go.”

Employee: “What size fries would you like?”

Me: “Small… and a small [Soda]. To go.”

Employee: “Would you like something to drink?”

Me: “Yes, a small [Soda]. To go.”

Employee: “What size [Soda] would you like?”

Me: “Small. To go.”

Employee: “Would you like that for here or to go?”

Me: “You know… I knew you were going to ask me that.”

(Note: I’m an albino woman eating at a family restaurant. After our waitress serves us our bread, this exchange happens.)

Waitress: “Excuse me, ma’am, but I think it’s a bad idea to bleach your hair.”

Me: “Oh, I don’t bleach it. It’s naturally white.”

Waitress: “Huh?”

Me: “I’m an albino. I was born with white hair.”

Waitress: “Oh, my god that is so hilarious!” *begins laughing uncontrollably*

(Not surprisingly, I found out a week later she had been fired.)

(My new copy of a certain popular video game isn’t working, so I call it into tech support.)

Me: “Hello, is this [Game Name] support? My game won’t install on my computer. Can you help?”

Employee: “Of course sweetie, of course. First of all, you have the PC version, right? What kind of computer do you have?”

Me: “Ah, it’s a Windows 7 machine, on an Intel Core i7—”

Employee: “Oh, sorry darling, but we don’t support those Intel things, just PCs! I hope you can take it back!”

(I am a customer shopping with my mother. Note that I am 5′ 10″ and female. The only employee to be seen is 4′ 6″ish. I’m standing around minding my own business, when an elderly customer taps my arm.)

Me: “Yes?”

Elderly Customer: “Excuse me, miss, but you look to be very tall.”

Me: “Yes, thank you?”

Elderly Customer: “Could you help me get something off a shelf?”

Me: “Sure.”

(The employee has overheard this conversation, but says nothing, opting to glare at me. The elderly lady guides me to an aisle and asks me if I can reach some cat litter that is at the far end of a deep shelf, at my chest level. I manage to barely reach it by standing on my tip-toes.)

Elderly Customer: “Thank you, miss. That was very helpful!”

Me: “You are very welcome, ma’am.”

(I go back to where my mom is shopping, to see the employee standing with their arms crossed.)

Employee: *rudely* “Oh, and I suppose you think you’re so great because you’re tall?!”

(The employee has spoken it loudly enough that the elderly customer can hear her in the next aisle, so she calls out in my defense.)

Elderly Customer: “I asked for your help, but all you did was fume about how much trouble it would be to get a step ladder!”

Employee: *shuts up*

(I have a birthday voucher that gives me 10% off my purchase. I am buying two items.)

Employee: “Okay, your total comes to [total].”

Me: “That’s with the 10% off?”

Employee: “Yes, I gave you 5% of each item.”

Me: “That’s not the same thing.”

Employee: “Yes, it is. You get 10% off your whole purchase.”

Me: “Right, but you gave me 5% off.”

Employee: “I think we’re both saying the same thing…”

(My friend and I had to prove to her, using a calculator, that 10% off both items and 5% off each were not the same!)