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This Rep Has A Lot Of ‘Spaining To Do

, , , , , | Working | December 28, 2012

(I notice on my most recent statement that the fee for my student account has suddenly jumped from $3 to $12, so I call the bank’s customer service line.)

Service Rep: “How can I help you today?”

Me: “Hi, I was checking my statement and the fee for my checking account has suddenly quadrupled for no reason. I need that corrected.”

Service Rep: “Oh, I’m sorry; it’s probably just a glitch. What was the amount on your statement?”

Me: “Twelve dollars. It’s normally three.”

Service Rep: “Hm… no, that account’s always been twelve. We don’t have a three-dollar account.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m looking at my statements for the last year and my online account information and it clearly says it’s been three dollars until a month ago. There’s been an error somewhere in your system.”

Service Rep: “No ma’am, you’re the one that’s wrong. Our system never makes mistakes. We’ve never had a three-dollar account.”

Me: “Excuse me, but I’m an unemployed college student living off of grants and loans. I signed up for the discount student account as I could not afford the twelve dollars for the standard account. I was quoted three dollars a month on signup. I’ve been paying three dollars a month up until last month, and I have the paperwork that your company provided to prove that.”

Service Rep: “Well, if you just did ten or more transactions a month, it would be free and you wouldn’t have this problem at all.”

Me: “I have no income aside from my grants and loans for school. Pray tell, what money am I supposed to make these transactions with? That’s beside the point, anyway; the error is in your system and you need to fix it.”

Service Rep: “Our system doesn’t make mistakes! Ugh! You must be reading the paperwork wrong or hallucinating or something. How are you in college if you can’t even understand such a simple concept?!”

Me: “I need you to close my account, right now.”

Service Rep: “Oh, fine! If you’re going to get your panties in a twist, I’ll refund the charge, but you really need to understand that you’re going to be charged and it’s going to be twelve dollars a month. You agreed to do whatever we want when you opened the account.”

Me: “NO. Close my account. Now. I will not be doing business with this company anymore. Close the account, and while you’re at it, give me your name and work extension as well as the name of your supervisor. I’m going to file a complaint.”

Service Rep: “I’ll close the account but I’m not giving you any of that other stuff! Who do you think you are, the Queen of Spain or something? How dare you ask for my personal information?! You’re obviously some kind of scammer. I’ll be reporting you to corporate to make sure you don’t open another account to commit more fraud. Goodbye!” *click*

(I called corporate later with the reference numbers for the transactions and they found the horrible rep that way. I found out she’d been fired immediately after she’d ended the call with me. I still refused to reopen my account.)


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Much A-Gluten About Nothing

, , , , , , | Working | December 18, 2012

(I have celiac disease, which is a severe intolerance to wheat gluten, but I’m rather timid about it. However, my university’s food court has recently undergone massive training for food handling with regard to cross-contamination, so I decide to take advantage.)

Me: “Hi, can I get a tuna sandwich on gluten-free bread?”

Employee: *annoyed* “Are you really allergic?”

Me: “Yes, I’m extremely sensitive. Thank you for checking.”

Employee: *sighs* “Okay… well, it’s going to take a while.”

(The employee makes a big show out of gathering the ingredients for my sandwich, which are in special containers so as to prevent contamination with normal bread. She is sighing and rolling her eyes all the while. When another customer walks up, she yells to her coworker.)

Coworker: “What’s the big deal?”

Employee: *loudly* “I’ve gotta make this lady a gluten-free sandwich, and it’s going to take forever!”

Coworker: “Ugh, that’s so annoying!”

Employee: “And it’s such a waste of food.”

Another Customer: “What’s the problem?”

Coworker:She has to make a gluten-free sandwich, which is really annoying and takes forever because we have to go in the back and get special ingredients and make sure nothing touches anything. Then, the ingredients go bad because nobody eats them. I don’t understand why people have to be such picky eaters, you know?”

Employee: *to me, sarcastically* “Here’s your sandwich. Have a great day.”

Me: “Thanks. And I’m so terribly sorry for making you have to do your job correctly!”

(I later called the manager to complain, who was very apologetic. He called me back to let me know he fired both employees after the incident. It turns out it wasn’t the first complaint that they’d gotten regarding the very same issue. The worst part of the story? I still got incredibly sick from the sandwich.)


This story is part of our Celiac Awareness Day roundup!

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This Restaurant’s Not The Cream Of The Crop

, , , , , | Working | December 9, 2012

(I am ordering a soup with cream, but I ask for it to be only water, instead.)

Me: “Can you skip the cream and use just plain water?”

Waitress: “Are you allergic to milk?”

Me: “No, I’m vegan.”

Waitress: “Okay.”

(I get my soup and see that it’s slightly creamy.)

Me: “Um, I asked for no cream.”

Waitress: “Yeah, the chef forgot and started putting in cream. Since you’re not allergic, I don’t think that little bit would matter anyway.”

Me: “Err, could you please remake this?”

Waitress: *angrily* “Well, fine! What the h*** is your problem?! It’s only a little bit of cream and you’re not allergic. Why are you so d*** picky?”


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Let’s Hope He’s Just Horsing Around

, , , , | Working | September 4, 2012

(I’m looking for equipment for my horse, and although it’s unlikely, I decide to try a local sporting goods store. I’m female and the employee is male.)

Me: “Hey, is there any chance you have whips or riding crops?”

Employee: “Try an adult store.”

Me: “No, it’s for my horse.”

Employee: *smirks* “Yeah, try an adult store.”

Me: “I meant an actual horse, not a human. Anyway, guess you don’t have any. Thanks, though!”

Employee: “I know what you mean.” *winks* “Hey, if you ever need a new horse, try me.”

Me: “Um, no, thanks.”

(I got out, quickly!)


This story is part of our Horse roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Stories About People Who Are Too Stupid To Own Pets

 

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It Was Nacho Best Moment

, , , | Working | August 7, 2012

(I am a customer at a local theme park, but I know many of the employees. A friend of mine is working concessions near the front gate, so my brother and I stop to say hi. My friend is a very flamboyant and, at times, undisciplined character, but he’s usually harmless.)

Employee: “I almost got fired this morning.”

Me: “Why?”

Employee: “I threw cheese on a customer.”

Me: “Why would you do that?!”

Employee: “This woman comes up to me for a drink and she’s like, real mad, and she throws her drink on me! So, I’m like, ‘Would you like your cheese?’ and I throw the nacho cheese on her.”

Me: “Good Lord!”

Employee: “So, they called us both down to the office and asked what we were thinking, and I said, ‘She threw her drink on me, and I don’t take crap like that, so I threw the cheese on her.’ And we both looked at each other and just said, ‘I’m sorry.’ So, I got a new uniform and it was just nonsense.”

My Brother: *points at the nachos* “Just remind me not to stand near you with that!”


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