(When I am in high school, my mother’s car starts to make a strange noise. Twice, she takes it to the mechanic, and each time the worker at the mechanic tells her it is nothing to worry about. Because I have taken so many auto mechanic classes myself, I decide to check the car and I find that her brake pads are incredibly worn down. I quickly tell her, and she gives me permission to fix them for her. Once I am done, the noise stops. A week later, we are buying oil in the same shop and are being assisted by [Worker #2]. The worker who checked the car, [Worker #1], walks up to us.)

Worker #1: “Here about that noise again? I told you, it’s nothing to worry about.”

Mother: “Actually, my daughter fixed it. How did you miss my brake pads? They were so worn down, they could’ve caused me to get in an accident!”

Worker #1: “Wait, what? I checked those pads; they were fine.” *looks at me and sneers* “She probably lied to you, making you think the problem is solved. There’s no way a [slur for the mentally disabled] like her knows anything about cars.”

(We all stare at him, shocked. [Worker #2] recovers the quickest.)

Worker #2: “Get your stuff and get out.”

Worker #1: “What?”

Worker #2: “[Store Manager] warned you that if you insulted another customer, you were fired. Now, get out.”

Worker #1: “You can’t fire me! I’ll tell [Store Owner] you fired me unfairly! I–”

([Worker #2] rolls his eyes. He grabs something from behind the counter and shows it to [Worker #1]. He looks at it and suddenly pales.)

Worker #2: “I am [Store Owner]. Now get out.”

([Worker #1] stormed away and got his stuff, screaming obscenities on his way out. The owner of the shop gave us a coupon for a free brake replacement, apologizing to my mother. Now, five years later, I’m starting my job as his new mechanic!)

(I get called to our front counter by a fellow supervisor to help her with a refund. We were both employed at the same time and have been in with the company for about three years but for some reason, she’s never familiarised herself with the products we sell.)

Supervisor: “I’m trying to put a return through for this lady but the items won’t scan.” 

(I’ve not yet seen the items.)

Me: “Okay, where’s the receipt?”

Supervisor: “She doesn’t have one.”

Me: “We can’t do a return without a receipt.”

Supervisor: “I know that. I’m just going to give her store credit.”

(We aren’t supposed to but can do it to keep customers happy.)

Me: “Okay, then where are the items?”

Customer: “Here they are; I bought them from here.”

Me: *glancing quickly at the items* “These aren’t our items; you didn’t buy these here.”  

Customer: “Yes, they are. I bought them here.”

Supervisor: “How can you tell? You barely even looked at them.”

Me: “They are both brands we’ve never sold.”

Supervisor: “You can remember all the brands we sell?”

Me: “Not all of them, but this one is [Competitor]’s own brand and this one—” *flips package over to show a distinctive red and white logo* “—is from [Store].”  

Customer: “Oh, I could have sworn I bought them here, but I am certain I got that one here. I never go to [Competitor]. How do you know it’s their own brand?”

Me: “I worked there for five years, and if you read the package it will say that it’s exclusive to [Competitor].”

Customer: “BUT I BOUGHT IT HERE!”

(I wordlessly flip the package over and point to the fine print, which is too small for me to read.)

Customer: “Oh, it does say [Competitor], but I hardly ever go there.”

(She apologises and leaves.)

Supervisor: “I don’t know how you can remember what stock we sell.”

(I don’t know how she can’t, seeing that we only carry our own brands.)

Ever since I was able to provide myself with cell phone service, I have opted for rental plans to be able to get some perks and phones. I have had some smaller issues over the years that were always solved — minor charges and the like — that got cleared with a simple call to customer support. That is, until the reason I left the service happened.

My contract was due to be renewed two months from the date they called me to offer a better plan with a better cost and a heavily discounted phone I was looking forward to, so I took the offer right away. They told me that they only needed the all-clear from the finance department and would contact me soon.

The next day, they called again to offer the same thing. I asked for the status of the last renewal — yesterday, right? — and they said someone had made a mistake and they’d have to do the process all over. I told them to go ahead, and once more they told me everything was fine and they needed the all-clear from the finance guys.

Next day? Same thing, yes, a third time, and a fourth. A fifth? Why the h*** not? Finally, I told them to stop calling and that I would let the offer pass.

Fast forward two months of sporadically getting offers to do an early renewal — already sick of it, by the way — I went to do my last payment and tried to renew at an office of my carrier. Easy, right? Well, apparently not.

Remember the small charges I said got cleared by calling customer service? Well, they all came back at once and amounted to almost another month worth of service. I told them that those charges were clear, with all the authorization numbers I had — I’ve learned through the years to get everything documented — and they told me, “We have to get the all-clear from the finance department.” I wasn’t going to have any of that, so I went to the competitor next door and signed a contract with “betrayal benefits” — get your number from a competitor with us on a yearly contract and get three free months each year.

I got my service running with a new cellphone in a couple of hours, paying the same I had been paying with even more services included and some free months down the path.

End of story? Nope.

Not even a week later, I got a call from a number I didn’t know and, lo and behold, it was from the renewal department of the former carrier. “You know? Yeah, go ahead and try to renew my number, please,” I said, bemused, but this time I didn’t get the usual “waiting for the finance department to clear my account.” This time they said that I owed them some amount. How much? The charges I fought and documented as having them cleared from me. Nope, you aren’t getting my money, former carrier! I hung up, and just because I have one of their offices near me, I went there and asked, “How do I pay what I owe?” Surprise, surprise, I was no longer in their system, and they had no idea how to charge me for anything.

All right, then. What next? Collections called. Yup, not even one week after the last failed renewal, I started receiving calls from the former carrier saying, “Pay us what you owe us.” I laughed at them and hung up. It happened for a couple of weeks, and I got all manner of answers.

“It’s from the last rent.” Nope, it isn’t.

“It’s a residual charge from an old invoice.” Nope, not having that.

“You know what? I can’t even come up with the information. Sorry to bother you.” This one made my day.

Fast forward to today. I receive one last invoice from the former carrier in my mail. I wonder how much they say I owe, and see in the summary, “Charges [Amount],” and then, “Customer Clarifications -[Amount],” and lastly, “Round up from last month payment -$0.35.” The grand total is, “Carrier owes user 35 cents.” We are talking pesos here, so it’s like 1.75 US cents.

I wonder what’s coming up next week.

This is how my little sister unknowingly helped me assert myself at work.

When I was in college, my younger sister, about 17, worked for a call center. She told me about how she was instructed to handle creeps and rude jerks, which she had opportunity to practice. If a guy called in and started yelling, making inappropriate comments, breathing heavy, etc., she would very pleasantly say something along the lines of, first, “Excuse me, sir, please don’t talk to me like that,” second, “Excuse me, sir, but if you continue to talk to me like that, I’m going to have to hang up,” and third, “Excuse me, sir, but you have continued to talk to me like that, so I’m going to hang up now,” and hang up.

After college, I took a job working with people with special needs and moved up to supervisor. I worked with a particular man and met his mom. She was generally okay, though she condescendingly told me my own life experience of a similar illness, which I had shared to say that I understood, didn’t count. When I became a supervisor of another department, my former supervisor — an awful, condescending person herself — warned me that this woman can be pretty awful and keep you on the phone for an hour. 

Then, one day, with my former supervisor nearby, she called. She didn’t appreciate me pairing her son with another participant due to staff calling out sick, but I prioritized my participants, so I know I was doing what seemed best for everyone. I told her specifically that I had to prioritize everyone as a whole, not just her son. But she continued yelling, insulting my ability to do my job, my lack of consideration, etc.

The yelling after I explained myself only lasted a couple of minutes. I remembered my sister and cut in with, “Ma’am. Ma’am! MA’AM! It is not okay for you to talk to me like that.” I heard her sputter, and say, “Uh… Oh, oh. I’m sorry.” And we ended the call calmly. Since then, I know to just call it out; name it. No insults or anger or bickering are needed to put someone back in their place. Not that it always works, but it often does.

I believe, though we never said a word about it, that my former supervisor had been waiting to enjoy my suffering and thus legitimize herself, and that makes this memory that much better.

(I have been saving up for a brand new phone. On the day of release, I go to the store to purchase my fresh-off-the-line phone. Unfortunately, I am told it is a no go: they’re all sold out. Stock is incredibly limited locally. I give up for the day. I decide to go in two days later, with a relative who needs a new phone, as well. My relative picks up their new phone and the representative charges me for a phone that will be delivered to the store within three days. I walk out happy, thinking I will have my new phone soon. Four days go by and I am still without a phone. I am somewhat bothered by this but figure they may just not have gotten it yet. Day five comes around and I decide to go into the store. I end up talking to the same representative as the first day.)

Me: “What’s the situation with my phone?”

Representative: “Oh, we now have the phones in stock. Since we got them before your order showed up, they just cancelled the order.”

(I am a little annoyed that I wasn’t called to be informed of this, but I decide…)

Me: “Okay, well, I guess you can hand me my new phone right now.”

Representative: “Well, no. We can’t do that right now. You can’t get your phone today, or any day, until the cancelled order is cleared. Or, I suppose you can pay for the phone.”

(I have to take a few seconds to process this. So, if I am understanding her correctly, they charged me for the new phone and took money out of my account immediately. Then, they turned around and canceled my order without my say-so, leaving my money somewhere in Narnia, where it is playing the role of Schrodinger’s Cash Pile. It both is and isn’t mine, both spent and refunded. I am obviously furious about that and end up getting into an argument with her, flat-out telling her that her line of reasoning makes no sense.)

Me: “You have my money.”

Representative: “It is being refunded.”

Me: “I ordered the phone. I paid for the phone. You cancelled my order without even contacting me. It makes no sense for you to do that.”

Representative: “There was no point in continuing with the order. We got a shipment of phones. They’re here. Your special order was no longer necessary.”

Me: “And you never contacted me. If you hadn’t cancelled it, my special order would be here, today, having arrived after the three days it was supposed to have taken.”

Representative: “We had no way of knowing that you would come in today.”

Me: “You would have called me when the order arrived, I would hope! That is the promise you people made me when I made my order: that I would be called! You didn’t call me, and you cancelled my order without my permission. But you know what? Fine. Just give me a phone.”

Representative: “We cannot do that. You’re being refunded the money, which means you have no longer paid for the phone. If you want the phone, pay for it.”

Me: *eye twitching* “I already paid for it! Look, I just want my phone. When will my money be back in my account?”

Representative: “It will be processed in a month. You can always pay for it now and the refund will be processed in time.”

Me: “I don’t have that kind of money to just throw away a second time! And I absolutely will not give you more money while you’re holding my first payment hostage!”

Representative: “If you’re going to be unreasonable, please leave. I will not be helping you anymore.”

(I stormed out, furious. I called customer service and got told the same thing on the phone. Basically, “tough luck.” I got even angrier. I decided that it was time to give them a right hook straight to the social media kidneys. I went online and made a public post on one of their sites. I laid everything on the line, detailing what they had done to me and how they were holding my money hostage for a month, all the while refusing to give me the product I had paid for. I detailed everything as clearly as I could. Not even five minutes after posting about all this online, the company left me a comment on my post. They asked for the exact store number, the names of the representatives I’d spoken with, and so on and so forth. I told them everything in detail. Their next reply arrived within minutes, telling me to go into the store the next morning — since it was about 10:00 pm at this point — and that there would be a phone with my name on the box waiting for me. They said that they were sincerely sorry about the entire situation and that everything the representatives — both in the store and over the phone — had told me was not even remotely in line with policy. They told me that processing refunds took mere seconds to process, and that the “wait a month to get your money back” spiel was something that they were absolutely going to look into. I was reassured that the cancelled order was being handled by someone who would personally oversee the proper transfer of money through proper channels: the cancelled order was cancelled and the money was being redirected to a purchase. They promised that I was paid up and that the phone was mine. “We’re so sorry this happened. Please enjoy your new phone.” My mind was blown, but I was wary. I wasn’t sure what had happened on their end, but I wondered if I had uncovered something bigger than I had suspected, and that some people were about to be jobless. The next day, I went in and there was my brand-new phone waiting for me. A note had been taped to it apologizing for the inconvenience. I didn’t see the representative I’d dealt with that day, and I — finally — walked out a happy customer.)