One year I, quite foolishly, go to work in a different part of the country with a severe throat infection. The fact that I am hungry, dehydrated, and sleep-deprived probably contributes to the incredibly poor decision making on my part. Unsurprisingly, I am sent home after just one shift, as the infection is getting worse, despite the fact that I got treatment before travelling. I have, among other things, pretty much completely lost my voice; not only can I not produce much volume, but it is also INCREDIBLY painful to speak.

Before leaving the hotel, I download a note-taking app, intending to use it to communicate. I am going to be travelling by train, which isn’t a quiet mode of transport. I open it while in the taxi and type a message at the very top of the screen.

Message: “HELLO! SORRY, I CANNOT SPEAK RIGHT NOW! THANK YOU!”

Problem solved, right?

Nope!

I realize I can’t read the destination boards. The letters on the destination boards are “moving,” and the slow cycling between English and Welsh isn’t helping matters. I type my request into the app.

Message: “Which platform for the train to Derby, please?”

And I look for a staff member to show my phone to.

When I eventually catch the attention of one — a difficult prospect when you can’t make yourself heard — he insists that the train I want doesn’t exist. As it is the reverse of the train I came down on and is one I catch regularly — albeit usually only to and from the interchange station in Birmingham — I know he is full of it. He isn’t even checking on a computer or handheld device, which would tell him which train I want. Only when I change the destination to “Nottingham,” the route’s other terminus, does he tell me what platform I need.

I miss the train by barely five minutes, so I have close to an hour’s wait for the next. It is a chilly late January morning, and standing or sitting for that long on a cold, noisy, windswept platform doesn’t appeal to me. Unfortunately, all of the platform signage, in both directions, is too far away for me to read, even if I was able to understand it, so I can’t tell where the waiting room is.

I type a new message into my app and flag down a member of staff that is on the platform.

Message: “Excuse me, is there a waiting room I could sit in?”

Staff Member #2: “Look at the signs.”

I tried to get him to look at my phone again, after typing, “I can’t read them, too far,” but he won’t look. Eventually, he waves his hand vaguely toward the platform buildings to my right, and luckily, there is a sheltered waiting room there with seats and charging sockets.

There is an at-seat food service on the train. I almost never buy from them because they’re overpriced for what you get, and I can’t really eat anyway. Normally, I shake my head, but even that is incredibly painful. When I see the staff member approaching, I type, “No, thank you,” under the header I typed in the taxi, and leave the screen on and orientate it toward the end of the table.

When the staff member stands next to me, I tap on my phone to draw his attention to it. He looks at it… and offers me a drink again. I add a note saying I can’t swallow and he scoffs.

Another passenger shouts for him to hurry up and stop trying to sell to someone who’s not interested, at which point he leaves. He makes a point of stopping at my seat on every trip through the train, though, in case I’ve miraculously gotten better.

My boyfriend has proposed to me. Due to our having lived together for a while and knowing we’re ready, we see no reason for a long engagement and want to get married. I want a blue wedding dress.

I visit a bridal shop and speak with an assistant.

Assistant: “In this year, the bridal colors, other than white, are cream, brown, and red. Maybe you can have blue next year.”

Me: “But I’m getting married this year.”

Assistant: “Why?”

Me: “Because he proposed!”

Assistant: “Well, you should have done your research first and told him to propose in a proper year.”

Me: “…”

An employee and CEO are having a small talk in the kitchen. The employee is fairly new and has no idea who he’s talking to.

Employee: “So, how long have you been working for [Company]?”

CEO: “Um, about seven years.”

Employee: “Oh, my… I’m so sorry for you!”

This story is relayed to me by my old manager only a month or so after I quit my marketing job at a small, private company.

With a marketing campaign strategy meeting happening later in the day, my manager sends over plans and mocks via email to our CEO so they can look at them before the meeting. In response, the CEO immediately forwards the marketing strategies to ALL department managers and asks them to weigh in — sales, HR, accounting, etc. The first to reply is the HR manager:

HR Manager: “These sale email mocks don’t look very exciting. What if we had [Graphic Designer] make a whole story of a warrior who has a sword and goes on an adventure? You keep scrolling as the email goes on and on and you watch their story as they go through their adventure. They get to the end of their adventure and they are victorious because they chose our product! That would be really exciting.”

The CEO replies minutes later before my manager can even say anything.

CEO: “PERFECT! That sounds like fun. Let’s try that.”

A carefully planned marketing campaign derailed before they could even get to the meeting to discuss it. Things like this were a common occurrence and why I ended up leaving in the first place.

My parents, fiancé, and I are touring wedding venues. We show up for an appointment that we made with a woman named Michelle. We were not given a last name when we made the appointment.

We approach the front desk and there is a woman standing there.

Woman: “Hi, can I help you?”

Me: “Yes, hi, we have an appointment with Michelle to view the wedding venue!”

Woman: “Okay! Let me give her a call!”

The woman picks up the phone and dials. It rings for a bit but no one picks up. The woman hangs up the phone and pauses with a very confused look on her face. Then, she suddenly looks up at us.

Woman: “Oh! I’m Michelle!”

The rest of the tour went pretty smoothly and we ended up booking the venue, but it definitely was a strange first impression!