I’m going to a grocery store with a shopping list from my wife. I get there and there is an open curbside space right by the front door. My lucky day!

I check out the list. My hands are full, what with phone, car keys, mask, etc., but I get out of the car and manage to get in the front door with only an upside-down mask to give me pause.

I am halfway down the veg aisle before I notice that I am not wearing my glasses. Quick check: old lottery tickets, dog treats, receipts, poop bags; it’s not in my coat or in my pants pockets, either. No biggy. Must have taken them off in the car when I was reading the shopping list.

Go through checkout. Get the members’ discount. Cashier tacks on a senior discount. I find that amusing.

Get back to the car. No glasses. Not on or under the seat. Not in the console. Not on the floor. Not on the sidewalk heading back to the store. Not on the floor of the produce section or on the shelves. Clerks haven’t found any. Cashiers haven’t seen them.

Go back to the car. Pray for intercession.

Go back inside and give my number to the nice young woman in customer service just in case they turn up.

She writes down my number and looks up.

Customer Service: “Do your lost glasses look anything like the pair you have hooked in your T-shirt collar?”

I’m working in the fitting rooms one shift when a customer comes to the counter with an armful of clothes. It is policy to take the clothes from the customer to count them as they come in and when they leave to ensure there will be no stealing. Most customers don’t even bat an eye at the request, but this lady starts fuming when I ask for the pile of clothes in her arm.

Customer: “I already counted them. There are eight items!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s store policy that I need to count them.”

Customer: “Just count the hangers in my arms. There are eight!”

Me: “I could get in trouble if I don’t count the items myself.”

I point to the camera.

Customer: “B****! Accusing me of stealing!”

She throws all items in her arms onto the floor in front of her and stomps off. I have a line of customers behind her, so I quickly pick up her pile to allow other customers through. Everything is moving normally until my manager comes up.

Manager: “A lady came up to me telling me you accused her of stealing. You can’t do that. I will need to write you up for that.”

I relay the actual story. The manager calms down and takes the pile of clothes from the customer that I haven’t had a chance to put away yet and counts the items. Lo and behold, there were some scrunched-up T-shirts (not on hangers) hiding in the pile of nicely hung sweaters, totalling twelve items! This is why we have to count items properly.

I work as technical support on the help desk, doing password resets, troubleshooting hardware, etc., at a company that provides managed video conferencing services — pre-Facetime and Skype era.

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Company] technical support. My name is [My Name]; how can I assist you today?”

Caller: “My event didn’t connect.”

Fair enough. This is a common enough call if their systems are off at the event start time, etc.

Me: “I’d be happy to help you with that. Do you happen to have your event ID number?”

Caller: “No.”

Also fair enough — it’s a random fourteen-digit number, so not everyone knows it.

Me: “Okay, do you have your system ID number?”

Caller: “No.”

A little weird.

Me: “Is it labelled on the system in front of you?”

It should be!

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Okay, do you know your site ID?”

This is a four-digit number that never changes.

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Okay… What organization are you calling from?”

Caller: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Oh… um… okay. Where are you right now?”

Caller: “I don’t know.”

Me: *In my head* “I think you have bigger problems than I’m qualified to help you with.” *Out loud* “Is there someone you can ask?”

Caller: “There’s a receptionist. Should I ask her?”

Me: *Pauses* “Yes.”

After she found out the info from the receptionist, I was able to connect her. I got the full story; her organization wanted to attend this event but didn’t have a system to connect so they sent her to another site to join, but they just gave her the directions of how to get to the physical building and no other information. She was never upset or impolite, but I just couldn’t understand how you can get to a building and have no idea what the address is or what company is there.

I work in a shop that sells glasses. We have a policy of not adjusting frames that were bought elsewhere due to liability reasons. If it breaks, I am liable to replace it and I cannot warranty products I don’t even sell.

A lady walks into my store and says she needs me to adjust her glasses. I immediately recognize that it’s not our product, so I ask her if it’s purchased with us in case she just got the lenses from us and not the frames.

Customer: “No, it’s not from here, but you’re going to adjust it for me since I bought my other glasses from here.”

I ask for her information to pull her file, but I cannot even find her in our system because she never bought anything from us.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s our policy that I cannot adjust stuff that wasn’t purchased here, and I know we have never sold that brand of frames here.”

Customer: “I cannot believe this! How am I supposed to see out of these comfortably?!”

Me: “I would suggest taking them back to where they were purchased and have them take a look at the glasses to determine this.”

Customer: “I need this adjusted!”

Me: “Yes, and I explained that our policy is to not touch products we didn’t sell, for liability reasons.”

Customer: “I cannot believe you’re doing this to me! Isn’t there a fee I can pay?”

Me: “I have stated three times politely that it’s our policy and I need to follow company policy, so no, there is no fee I can charge you, nor would I want to, as it’s not even about money. There are places that don’t have this policy, and you’re more than welcome to try there!”

I name two places for her.

Customer: “What kind of operation are you running here?! This is unbelievable!“

She stormed off after a few dramatic exhales and slamming her belongings around on the counter.

I’m going to try that with my Ford. I’m going to go to Honda and demand they fix it, because that’s so logical. I love how opticians are complained about as being “too expensive,” so people buy their stuff online and then are mad at the same opticians for not looking after products they bought at the competition. Total entitlement.

I work at a well-known Canadian automotive and hardware chain store. Some of the larger locations can have over a hundred aisles. Our particular location, however, is quite small: only thirty-two aisles. Consequently, while I am hired to work in Hardware, this basically encompasses most departments: Hardware, Housewares, Sports, Seasonal, and Garden — essentially everything EXCEPT Automotive.

I’m working in the plumbing aisle when a woman comes up and asks for help with Automotive. I start to tell her she needs to go ask for help at the Automotive desk, but a quick glance shows me that there are already six or seven people lined up there, waiting for help.

Me: “Well, it’s not really my department, but I can see if I might be able to help you. What were you looking for?

Customer: “I need new wiper blades for my car.”

Me: “Great! I’m not very familiar, but I know there’s a book there that lists which wiper blades work with which vehicles. Let’s go have a look.”

We walk over to the windshield wiper blades, and I open the book. It all looks pretty straightforward, and I think I’ll be able to help her out, no problem. I turn to the customer.

Me: “All right, so, what kind of car do you have?”

Customer: “It’s a blue one.”

Me: *Blinks slowly several times* “Yeah… I think you’ll need to go line up at the Automotive desk and get someone from there to help you.”