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Driving Away The Bad Passengers

, , , , , , | Right | August 24, 2021

I’m sitting on a bus, in a seat near the middle. It’s at the very beginning of its route, so it hasn’t left the transit loop yet. The only other passenger is an older white man who’s dishevelled and stinks of beer, sitting near the front.

A young, pretty Asian woman gets on and sits down a few seats away from the man. She takes out her phone and starts looking at it, and the man swivels in his seat and leers at her.

Passenger: “Hey, girlie!”

I can’t see her face from where I am, but I can see her shoulders tighten and she holds her phone higher.

Passenger: “Hey! D’ya speak English? You wanna learn some? I’ll teach ya! Come sit next to me!”

I’m wondering what I should do, when the bus driver calls from his seat.

Driver: “Sir, please do not bother the other passengers.”

Passenger: “Mind your own business.”

The driver gets up and stands in front of the man. 

Driver: “Sir, the safety and comfort of the passengers is my business.”

The man starts laughing. 

Passenger: “What, you want her for yourself, huh? What, you think she’d be interested in you, you [racial slur]?”

This statement is so outrageous that I actually snort. Even apart from the racism, the driver is a quite handsome young man, tall and athletic; his uniform and turban are clean and neat, and his beard is well-groomed. The contrast between him and the slovenly, drunken older man couldn’t be starker.

Driver: “I must ask you to get off the bus now.”

I’m briefly worried that the man will get even more belligerent, but in the face of direct confrontation, he backs down and gets off, still grumbling. While he’s getting off, I move to sit across the aisle from the woman.

Me: “Are you all right?”

Although she’s obviously very embarrassed, she nods, and then she looks at the driver.

Woman: “Thank you. I was a little afraid.”

Driver: “No problem, miss. Besides, if my mother and my wife found out I let a man talk to a woman like that, they would never let me hear the end of it.”

They Should Retire From Dealing With People

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2021

I deal with a doctor who rents a clinic office in a professional building for doctors and other medical professionals. One of the terms of her lease is that she is locked in for a period of five years unless she dies, retires, or sells her practice to someone willing to assume her lease.

I get an email from this doctor.

Doctor: “Hello, I am retiring from my practice and wish to terminate my lease. Please send me the paperwork required to terminate the lease.”

I dutifully do up the paperwork for ending her lease and reply to her email.

Me: “Hello, [Doctor], please find attached the application to end the lease. If you could provide us with a copy of your notice to the College of Physicians retiring your practice, we will begin processing your application.”

Not ten minutes later, I get a phone call. It’s the doctor, and she’s irate.

Me: “Hello, [Doctor], what can I help you with?”

Doctor: “I can’t believe that you are trying to force me out of a job! You’ve asked me to retire! I don’t want to retire! How dare you imply that I’m not fit to do my job?!”

Me: “[Doctor], we asked for your retirement paperwork because you specifically informed us that you were looking to get out of your lease because you are retiring. Is that not true?”

Doctor: “Of course it’s not true! I don’t want to retire; I just want to get out of my lease!”

Me: “I’m sorry, [Doctor], but your lease clearly states that you are responsible for the full term of five years unless you die, retire, or assign your practice.”

Doctor: “I know that!”

Me: “So are you retiring, or are you staying with your practice?”

Doctor: “I’m not retiring! You’re an idiot!” *Click*

Specificity Is Not Their Craft

, , | Right | August 18, 2021

I work in a craft store. Our policy is to greet every customer we see. I’m working at the front of the store and a woman comes in.

Me: “Good morning. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yes, can you direct me to the craft department?”

Me: “Could you be a little more specific?”

She looks at me like I’M the idiot.

Customer: “General crafts.”

A Battery Of Scams

, , , , | Working | August 18, 2021

I have taken my car in for service because the electrical system keeps resetting in weird ways every time I turn the car off. Once the technicians have looked at my car, I get this call.

Tech: “Hi. We’ve taken a look at your car and it seems like the battery is faulty. You need a new battery.”

Me: “Okay, but you just installed a new battery in this car less than a month ago.”

Tech: “Oh, ummm…”

Me: “And that battery was a replacement for the battery you installed two months before that.”

Tech: “Oh, yes, I see that in the system.”

Me: “Maybe worth another look, eh?”

Tech: “I’ll take this off your bill right now. Can I call you back?”

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 40

, , , , , | Right | August 13, 2021

I work in an office that has fairly frequent, if impromptu, foam weapon battles. As such, one day while on my lunch break, I head over to a nearby toy store to browse their selection. While I’m there, there is a lady standing right next to me, alternating between looking at me and the wall of dart guns. Eventually…

Lady #1: “Sorry, but do you work here?”

Employees at this store wear black dress shirts and red vests; today, I happen to be wearing a red dress shirt with a black vest. Understanding her confusion, I laugh.

Me: “No, sorry, but I’m kind of familiar with the brand. Maybe I can help?”

It turns out that I can! We spend a couple of minutes picking the right darts for her son, discussing the pros and cons of various ones, and [Lady #1] walks off happy. While we were talking, however, another woman was hovering at the end of the aisle, and as soon as [Lady #1] walks off, [Lady #2] swoops in.

Lady #2: “Where can I find [Specific Toy]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t actually…”

I glance over her shoulder, and what should I see?

Me: “Uh… Are those the ones you’re looking for?”

Lady #2: “Oh, yes!”

And as she bustles off to pick up her toy, an elderly gentleman approaches me, toy in hand.

Man: “Could you tell me how much this is?”

At this point, I just accept my fate.

Me: “I’m afraid I don’t know right off hand, but there is a price scanner two aisles over; I can show you where, if you’d like!”

I never made the mistake of wearing that outfit there again, and I am still waiting on my paycheck for that accidental ten-minute shift!

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 39
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 38
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 37
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 36
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 35