(In high school, I am something of a goody-two-shoes, a full-fledged dork, and a voracious bookworm. I am always carrying around a library book or two in case I get a spare minute to read. At lunch, I stack my books on the table and one of my classmates notices the top one.)

Classmate: “Are you reading a V.C. Andrews book?”

Me: “Yeah, I’ve never read anything by her before, but it looked interesting. She’s apparently written a ton of books.”

Classmate: “Okay, well, I had to read a V.C. Andrews book for Lit Class, and it was about incest. I can’t imagine you reading anything like that.”

Me: *shrugs* “Well, no incest yet. If I find any I’ll let you know.”

(Next chapter? Boom, incest. I did finish it, because I never give up on a book, but I felt dirty for about a month.)

(I work at a bookstore and this is a couple of years ago when ‘The Great Gatsby’ movie came out.)

Customer: “Do you have that new book, The Great Gatsby?”

Me: *sighs* “…follow me.”

(I work at a bookstore and a customer comes up to the register with several teen romance vampire books including ‘Twilight.’)

Customer: “I love vampire books! I can’t get enough of them! I’ve basically read them all.”

Me: “Yeah, I like vampire books, too. Especially Anne Rice.”

Customer: “Who?”

(I work as a librarian at a university library. A very tall, awkward guy approaches me.)

Patron: *avoiding eye contact* “Do you have a book on sexual growth and development? Because I’m very confused right now.”

(Unfortunately, we didn’t have any books but I directed him to one of my male coworkers.)

(I work for a small, family-run bookstore. One day I’m working in the store alone when a very elderly lady comes in. I offer to help her and she tells me she’s shopping for a present for a baby. I lead her to the children’s section and leave her to have a look around.)

Customer: *after looking at several books* “What’s the idea with these bits in books?”

Me: “Oh, those are our touch and feel books! They have fur and other textured things in there for children to touch.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Uh… it’s interactive. For babies that can’t read yet.”

Customer: *clearly very confused* “So… They touch it, do they?”

Me: “Yes…”

Customer: “So, babies can’t read?”

Me: “Not normally, no.”

(The customer looked bemused and shuffled out of the shop muttering to herself. I had no idea the concept of touch-and-feel books could be so confusing!)