A lady comes through my line with an order containing food and some hair products, as well as a pack of cigarettes. She pays with her food stamps card, only to look at the remaining total in confusion.

Customer: “What is this $24.83?”

Me: “You got hair products and cigarettes, as well.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought this would cover that.”

Me: *Incredulously* “On food stamps?”

Customer: “Well, just void it off.”

I removed the hair products and cigarettes from the order and she was on her way. I can’t believe she thought her food stamps card would pay for her cigarettes!

I’m picking up some assorted foods at the local big box grocery store on my way home from a meeting. I recall my wife has asked me to pick up a roll of “that sushi with the fake crab and the avocado,” i.e., a California roll.

As I pick up an avocado roll for myself along with her California roll, I notice a sign advertising sushi as 10% off. When I get to the checkout, I notice — on the screen, before I’ve paid — that the California roll has rung in as 10% off, but the avocado roll didn’t. When pointing this out to the cashier, she quite politely informs me:

Cashier: “I’m not sure why that happened, but I can get my supervisor to check into it.”

Me: “It’s forty-two cents on a $60 grocery bill. I think I’ll survive.”

She looks at me as if I have three heads.

Cashier: “I wish I had more customers like you. I once had a customer tie me up for half an hour over a nickel, and she ended up being wrong in the end.”

Minimum wage in Nova Scotia is $10.15 an hour, making my $0.42 worth a maximum of four minutes if you take income taxes into account. That woman’s nickel was worth about thirty seconds, not thirty minutes.

I’m a cashier at a huge grocery store during a weekend shopping rush. I work at the fifteen-or-less lane, and the line is already quite long when a woman in her fifties gets in the line with a cart full of groceries. I remind her about the policy on the express lane — all we can do — and this ensues.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is fifteen items or less.”

Customer #1: “I’m not waiting in those f****** lines. I’m in a hurry. Just do your f****** job.”

Customer #2: “So are all of the rest of us. That is why we just stopped by to pick up the absolutely necessary stuff and came to the express line.”

Customer #1: “Just mind your own business.”

[Customer #1] starts piling up her groceries to the belt when I hear a loud whistle. It’s [Customer #2]. Everyone stops what they’re doing and starts looking for where the noise came from. [Customer #2] starts to talk with a loud voice to everyone in the store.

Customer #2: “I’m sorry, ladies and gentlemen, could I please have a second of your time? I’m conducting a poll about a little situation we have here at the express lane. We have this woman here—” *pointing at her* “—who is refusing to leave the express lane even though she has a cart full of groceries and the cashier has asked her politely, and she is cursing at her. I would like to take a poll if people think she’s an entitled a**hole or not. If you think she is right and absolutely entitled to use the express lane, make some noise!”

Crickets.

Customer #2: “Aaand! If you think that she is an entitled b**** who should drag her cart to a normal line, make some noise now!”

People started clapping and making noise. The first customer, now beet red in the face, shouted, “F*** you!” and stormed out of the store. I had to call someone to put her things away, but that was definitely worth it!

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A customer comes in, clearly flustered, and places two separate orders on my belt. She explains that she is shopping for two different “clients” and that she is unfamiliar with how to do it. During the explanation, she becomes somewhat frustrated before I have rung everything. I allow her to explain how she would like them rung, though it is fairly obvious, and begin to ring as we talk. The first order goes through. She is getting ready to pay.

Customer: “Okay, so the first one has food stamps; I don’t think they’re enough, but let’s see…” *swipes card*

Me: “It got declined, but there’s enough for most of this order if you want to pay the rest cash, or we can put something back…”

Customer: “No, no, we’ll just put those hot dogs on the other order and make him pay for them; that’ll fix it.”

Me: “We could have her pay what she can, take the balance off of her card, and then let him pay for his with his food stamps and the little that she has leftover, as well.”

Customer: “Huh? I just want to move the hot dogs so that she can afford the food.”

Me: “I can run this through as one order, take the right amount off of each card, have her pay more, and have him pay less, and it’ll be really easy. Trust me.”

Customer: “No. Just move the hot dogs to the other order. I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

Still not grasping how stupid this woman is…

Me: “If they were both standing in front of me, she had six dollars’ worth of stuff and was one dollar short, I could ring everything up, take her five dollars, and then take his money so that she has none left, and he didn’t have to pay any more than he should have to. Make sense? I can do that with cards, too.”

Customer: “I still don’t get it. Just move the hot dogs to the other order, so she can pay for her order.”

Me: *Resigned* “Okay.”

The customer leaves, and I take a deep breath and let it out before I say hello to the next customer. I’m clearly frustrated.

Me: “Sorry about that. How is your day going?”

Customer #2: “Much better than yours, apparently. Wow, was she stupid! Do you see that kind of thing every day?”

Me: “No, not every day. Some days are special.”

Customer #2: “Thank God, because if you did, they should put out tip jars and let you guys get paid a little more for the service. Nobody should have to put up with that every day, no matter who they are.”

Normally, the exchange with the first customer would put me in a bad mood for most of the shift, but because the next customer understood, I was able to shake it off in five minutes flat. Thank you!

I am at a bulk retailer using the self-check system. I am scanning my items when the attendant sees me and darts over toward me.

Attendant: “Sir, make sure you—”

And then I beep on a multi-pack of sauce.

Attendant: “Wow, you’re the first person all day to scan that sticker. If you scan the UPC on the jar, it crashes the system and the manager has to reboot it. It takes at least fifteen minutes and it’s why I’m over here.”

As she states that, I see a guy behind her pick up the same jars of sauce and I try to tell him.

Me: “Sir, use the one on the top—”

Beep! He scans the wrong one, crashing that system. The attendant looks crushed as the customer begins to yell at her for the system not working. I interrupt him mid-sentence.

Me: “Stop that. It’s not her fault you couldn’t scan the huge sticker on top that says three-pack. She’s doing a great job and was telling me and I attempted to tell you before you did it. You need to read if you’re going to self-check your items.”

He turned a couple of shades of red and backed down. She guided him to a register that was still working. On my way out, I thanked her again for her help and told her boss she was doing a great job.

Related:
Check Yourself Before You Self-Checkout, Part 2
Check Yourself Before You Self-Checkout