Back in the early 2000s, I worked for a computer company as Level 2 support. Level 1 support would answer the calls and if they were stumped or had a difficult customer they would get a Level 2, to come and help them. As I was making my way around the office, one of the Level 1 support workers stopped me and asked for help.

Level 1: “[My Name], can you help me, please?”

Me: “Sure, what seems to be the problem?”

Level 1: “The customer is upset because I won’t warranty her computer. Her warranty expired over a year ago.”

Me: “What is the problem with her computer?”

Level 1: “Her CD-ROM isn’t working.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll take over the call from here.”

I looked through her information and verified that her warranty had indeed expired. I also saw that she was calling from a business.

Me: “Hello, ma’am, my name is [My Name]. How are you doing today?”

Customer: “Not so great; the other guy won’t help me out with my problem.”

Me: “[Level 1] was telling me that you are having some issues with your CD-ROM. What is it that he won’t do for you?”

Customer: “He won’t replace the CD-ROM for me. Mine doesn’t work, and I need a new one.”

Me: “Your warranty expired over a year ago so, unfortunately, we cannot send one out for you, but I can put you through to the sales department and they can set you up with a new CD-ROM.”

Customer: “That shouldn’t matter. I need it replaced. It’s not my fault it’s not working.”

Me: “I understand that, ma’am. But without a current warranty in place, we are unable to send out a new CD-ROM. I’d be happy to try some further troubleshooting with you if you are okay with that.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to do any more troubleshooting. Just send me a new CD-ROM.”

Me: “Without a warranty, we can’t do that.”

Customer: “That’s stupid! Who cares about the warranty? Your product broke and you have to fix it.”

Me: “Ma’am, if you took your vehicle into the dealership and the warranty was expired, would you expect them to fix your vehicle for free?”

Customer: “No, of course, not. But this isn’t the same thing.”

Me: “This is the same situation, just with a different product.”

Customer: “But my warranty is only a little expired. So, you should honor my warranty.”

Me: “If your warranty was only expired by a month or so, I would send you a new CD-ROM, but yours is expired by over a year. I see that you are calling from your business. Is that correct?”

Customer: *Now getting a little exasperated* “Yeah.”

Me: “Do you offer warranties on your products?”

Customer: “Of course.”

Me: “If I came into your store and bought a product and then came back to get it fixed or replaced due to an issue, but the warranty had expired a year ago, would you honor that warranty?”

Customer: *Quite annoyed* “No, of course, I wouldn’t.”

Me: *Frustrated* “Then if you agree that a vehicle with an expired warranty shouldn’t be repaired for free, and you wouldn’t honor an expired warranty for your store’s products, why then should [Computer Company] honor an expired warranty for you? It doesn’t make any sense that we should honor an expired warranty.”

Customer: “Listen to me. You have to give me a new CD-ROM.”

Me: “No. No, I don’t need to give you a new CD-ROM.”

Customer: “If you don’t give me a new CD-ROM, I will be contacting my lawyers.”

We had been trained that if anyone ever mentioned anything about speaking to lawyers, we were to give them another number to call and let them know that we would be ending the call. Then, we were to tell our senior management.

Me: “Ma’am, here is another number to escalate this matter further. Due to you informing me that you are going to call your lawyers, I can no longer help you, and I will have to end this call.”

I then went to my senior management and told them about the call. They had no issues with it and said that the Level 1 support and I did the right thing. I went into the customer’s file about a month later to check and see if anything else had happened after our call. From other notes on her file, I saw that she had called in a few more times and each call was escalated to a Level 2 support, and each call except for one was ended due to her saying she would call her lawyers. The last note call was to the [Computer Company] sales department, where she ended up buying a new CD-ROM.

On my way into work, I stop at reception to show a friend a drawing I did over the weekend that is saved on my phone.

Receptionist: “Wow, that’s really good. You missed your calling. You should be an artist.”

Me: “I— I am. That’s literally my job here.”

She blushed so quickly I was worried she was going to pass out, but then we both laughed.

It’s a super busy Valentine’s Day night. There is a small gap in reservations for one spot, and an old couple who is looking for a seat asks if they can sit until my next reservation comes. They seem sweet enough, and I get them settled with their coffee and tea and get their appetizer going.

The man starts to complain about the vent above them blowing cold air.

Customer: *Yelling* “Why would you purposely put on the AC when I am here?!”

Because our restaurant is part of a larger building with many other stores inside, we don’t have control over the temperature of the restaurant. And when there are a lot of people in the building, it tends to automatically switch to cold air as a safety mechanism for making sure the cooks in the kitchen and the servers running around don’t get overheated.

Me: “I don’t have the power to fix this problem; however, I would be more than happy to speak to my general manager to see if there’s anything they can do.”

He talked to them and explained the predicament, and the angry man yelled at me again when the manager left. His wife agreed that it was chilly but tried to tell me to just ignore her husband, who was still yelling at me.

Twenty minutes later, their main meal came out, and the man was red in the face. He said his meal tasted fine but that he would not be leaving the reserved booth that I had graciously let him sit in until the heating problem was fixed.

I got my other manager to talk to him, and they ended up comping an appetizer for him. His wife begrudgingly made him leave just in time for my next table to arrive.

I work at a small and very popular bar on a beach. During the summers, lineups are usually two hours and we are busy open to close. However, during the winter, we usually only have regulars come in, as no one is going to the beach

A few days before Christmas, I have a man come in, and off the bat, I can tell that this is going to be a long night. I only have him and one other customer.

Customer: “I’ll have a red wine, nine ounces.”

I go to get the wine and come back. Our wine glasses are tall and slim, so sometimes people get confused.

Customer: *Looking stunned* “I told you a nine-ounce. Are you not listening?!”

He continues to yell at me.

Me: “Yes, sir, it is a nine-ounce. I measured it out.”

Customer: “Listen, sweetheart, I need to speak to the bartender. Is there a man that can serve me?”

Me: “Sir, I am the bartender. And it is nine ounces.”

Customer: “I need to speak to a man. Clearly, you don’t know what you’re doing.”

I give up and grab my supervisor, who is ALSO a woman, and she tells him it is nine ounces. The customer goes back and sits down. I go to the back to calm down, as I have anxiety and don’t appreciate it when customers get in my face and yell at me. After a few minutes, I go check on him.

Me: “Is everything going okay?”

Customer: “The wine is room temperature. I know my wine. It is supposed to be cold.”

Me: “Sir, it’s a red wine. It’s not refrigerated.”

I work in a call center sending taxis to customers. This conversation happens several times every Friday and Saturday, no exceptions.

Me: “[Taxi Company]. May I have your phone number, please?”

Caller: “Umm, hang on…” *To other partygoers* “Does anybody know what my phone number is? Okay, it’s [number].”

Me: “Okay…” *Types in the number* “Are you at [address]?”

Caller: “No, umm… Does anybody know the address here?” *Pauses* “Okay, it’s [Address].”

Me: “Is that a house or an apartment?”

Caller: “Umm… is this a house or apartment?”

Yes, they seriously ask this.

Caller: “It’s an apartment.”

Me: “Okay, can I get the apartment number?”

Caller: “Umm… does anybody know the apartment number here? Okay, it’s [number].”

Me: “Thank you, and who’s the cab for?”

Caller: “Umm… hey, who’s taking the taxi?”

Seriously, why would you phone for a taxi when you knew literally none of the information? Amazingly, they usually got picked up anyway.