(I am working on the customer service desk and answer a call from a customer inquiring about a special order they had placed.)

Customer: “Yes, my name is [Customer]. The name of the DVD is Spring Break.”

(I put the customer’s details into the computer, and the search results say the full name of the DVD is “Spring Break Sex Riot” which also has an…. explicit cover on it. I assume that there must have been a mistake and the wrong title was ordered.)

Me: “Um… I think I found your order here on the system, but it hasn’t arrived in the store yet. I think there might be a mistake here. Could you give me some more details about the film?”

Customer: “Ah, man, you’re missing out! You have to see it! It’s about all these hot chicks who go on spring break and have lots of sex! It’s excellent!”

Me: *glad I have never been this desperate*

(A young man from Fullerton, CA calls to get our address in Rancho Cordova, CA.)

Caller: “Rancho Cordova? What coast is that on?”

Me: “We are in California, just like you.”

Caller: “Oh… So, East?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a book.”

Me: “Yeah, I know. You called a bookstore.”

Me: “Hello, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “Yes, but I don’t want to buy anything. I would just like to know if there are any restaurants here. ”

Me: “Yes, this is one. There are more elsewhere in the park. ”

Customer: “I mean, like a sit-down restaurant.”

Me: “We have chairs and tables outside, and more to my left past the grill.”

Customer: “I mean where you come to me and ask ’em what I want so that I don’t have to get up. You know, a restaurant.”

Me: “I don’t know of any off the top of my head, but you can go ahead and ask other people that work here.”

Customer: “I’ll do that…”

(She walks off and I continue on helping people. Twenty minutes later, she comes back)

Customer: “I couldn’t find any, are you sure there aren’t any?”

Me: “Pardon me, but this isn’t a huge super expensive theme park like Disney World or Disneyland. Are you from California by chance?”

Customer: “Yes, how did you know?”

Me: “I guessed.”

Customer: “Okay, I’m all set.”

Me: *rings the draperies she wants up* “Okay, your total is $768.22.”

Customer: “What?! Aren’t they on sale?”

Me: “No, only the pleated draperies are on sale.”

Customer: “What’s the difference? Why aren’t these ones on sale, too?!

(The customer’s husband comes over.)

Husband: “What’s going on?”

Customer: *to Husband* “These panels aren’t on sale!”

Husband: “Oh… well, how much does it come up to?”

Customer: “They come out to like $800 bucks.”

Husband: “Well… what do you wanna do?”

Customer: *sigh* “There are signs EVERYWHERE saying that these are on sale.”

Me: “No, there are signs everywhere saying that the PLEATED draperies are on sale.”

Customer: “But that entire room has signs! They all say they’re 20% off.”

Me: “I’m sorry to say, but the signs in that room all say, ‘SALE: All Pleated Draperies 20% Off.’ Want me to show you?”

Customer: “No, it’s fine… Whatever.”

(I finish ringing up the transaction.)

Customer: *signing receipt* “Ugh, it’s just misleading, you know? There are literally a hundred signs in that room that say that the draperies are on sale.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but they do specify what kind of draperies are on sale.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t buy draperies every day, so I don’t pay attention to stupid details like that!”

Me: “Okay… I hope they work out for you. Have a good day.”

This story is part of the Customers-Ignoring-Signs roundup!

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