12 True Stories That Prove Customers Never Ever Read Signs

Dear readers,

You’re reading this roundup right now – so that makes you one of the good ones! Sadly, the very act of reading is all it takes to put you in the “above-average” category in the retail world. Most of the time, customers seem to be able to get themselves dressed in the morning, check their phones, navigate traffic, and generally survive being a human being in this modern world, but the moment you need them to comprehend any signage in your store, they lose the ability to read or think.

In solidarity with the long-suffering retail workers who have to put up with customers completely ignoring the helpful signs they put up, we’ve rounded up twelve stories they will painfully relate to.

Translation: Stupid – “You should put up a sign.” “I can’t read that.” WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US?

All Signs Point To Duh – Ooh, turning the tables on them! We like it!

How Nicknames Are Born, Part 2 – How dare you… point out… a sign? I guess?

Honesty Against The Best Policies – Hits from the comments: “Well, you won’t need to read next time, anyway, because I TOLD YOU.”

Adventures In The Third Dimension – Aww, the ending of this one is pretty sweet.

Let’s All Just Randomly Grab Crap – These people drive, vote, and reproduce. God help us.

On The Futility Of Signs – Hits from the comments: “No, sir; you just paid the Stupid Tax. No refunds.”

Carrie 3: Disaster In The Deli – What in the f*** is a “carnival weasel”?

Making Excuses For A Lack Of Brain Cells – You have to read all the words on the sign, not just the ones you want.

Signs Are For Weaklings – Imagine businesses selling what they say they sell.

A Sign That Tells The Future Is A Sign – Maybe if they mailed out fliers…

Large Signs, Larger Bags, And Even Larger Egos – Hits from the comments: “Wow, it must be difficult being the centre of the universe.”

We hope you enjoyed this Customers-Ignoring-Signs-themed roundup! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

11 Stories About Customers Who Absolutely Hate To Read

10 Crazy Stories About Customers Who Expected Staff To Be Mind-Readers