A coworker is always coming in late to the point where we actually just expect it now. He should have been fired, but he always claims ADHD and other forms of disabilities, so the boss just rolls with it, and we all have to pick up the slack.

Coworker: “Hey, so what did you want to do about the tips you owe me?”

Me: “What tips? I don’t owe you anything.”

Coworker: “Some tables from my section tipped you at the weekend.”

Me: “You mean for the shift you were over an hour late to? The shift I had to cover even though I had worked ten hours by then? They tipped me because I was their waiter; you were not.”

Coworker: “But it was my section! My shift!”

Me: “That… you… did… not… work.”

Coworker: “It’s not my fault! You’re discriminating against someone who has disabilities! Do you really want to be known as someone who is ableist?”

Me: “When you are able to be here on time, then we can talk. Until then, I keep the tips I was able to earn from the work I was able to do. Okay?”

He went to the manager to complain but was laughed out of the office. He still doesn’t come in on time, but he’s stopped whining about claiming tips that aren’t his.

Working at a tobacco shop gets me an alarming number of these conversations.

Underage Teen: “Hey, can I get [Cigar Brand]? I know I cannot, but…”

Me: “Nope, sorry, you’re going to need to be over eighteen to buy cigars. Come back in a few years.”

Underage Teen: “Well, it’s not for me, it’s for my [mom/dad], so it doesn’t count.”

Me: “No. The law still applies. Tell them to come over personally if they want those cigars, not send you on an errand.”

Cue the teen leaving, and, a few minutes later, the mentioned parent coming up to the till.

Parent: “How dare you not sell cigars to my child, when they told you outright it wasn’t for them?!”

And then the excuses start. I have a collection of the ones that have remained with me.

Dad #1: “I’m too disabled to get them myself. Do you know how hard is it to walk on a diabetic foot?”

Dad #2: “Don’t you know who am I? I’m the vice-mayor’s aide. I shouldn’t have to deal with this!”

Mom #1: “You can’t force busy women like me to fetch necessities like cigars just because you’re a pansy.”

Mom #2: “With how expensive these cigars are, you should deliver them to me!”

Dad #3: “Kids smoke marijuana and cigarettes, not cigars. How can you not know that?”

I swear, I will never understand whoever thinks a cashier, no matter how well-paid, can detect lies or figure out the true motives behind purchases.

A few years ago, I worked as a marketing manager for an online learning platform. We were quite a diverse bunch from multiple countries, myself included. Once or twice a year, we would hire a student or graduate on a paid internship. This was usually a three- to six-month contract, but if the person proved themselves and we were able to financially, we could extend the contract or take them on full-time.

One year, I got back from holidays and my boss, the Head of Operations, and a colleague had done a few interviews for a junior marketing role. My boss liked one candidate and wanted me to do the second interview, as they would be reporting directly to me.

The candidate was in their early twenties, newly graduated but impressive, and they aced the interview. But there was something bothering me; I just couldn’t put my finger on what. After much debate with my boss and the CEO of the company — neither of whom felt the same “something” I did — we decided to hire her for three months on a fixed-term contract and see how it goes.

The first few weeks were great. She got to work early, she completed all tasks I gave her within the deadline, she used initiative, she got along with other colleagues, and so on.

Then, little things started happening — the red flags my instincts were screaming about. This is a condensed version of her first-month review meeting with my boss and me.

Me: “[Intern], you’ve been doing really well with all the tasks I’ve assigned to you. I’m very happy with your work so far.”

Intern: “That’s great, thanks.”

Boss: “I’ve had great feedback from a few colleagues, as well, so well done. There are a few small issues we’d like to discuss with you, though. [My Name] has mentioned that you’ve been in after 9:00 am a few mornings this week. With your contract being quite clear on a 9:00 am start, is there something going on that you want to share?”

Intern: “Oh, well, it’s only a few minutes past 9:00. I don’t think it’s that big a deal.”

Me: “It’s been anything from a few minutes after 9:00 am to almost 9:30 am one day. And when you do get in, you spend at least ten minutes switching your computer on, making a coffee, and chatting with people. If there’s a valid reason for getting in late, I’m open to reviewing your start time.”

Intern: “So, the truth is that I live with my sister, and when I started working here, she wasn’t working, so I had the bathroom all to myself. Now she’s started a new job and she’s in our bathroom when I need to get in there every morning. That’s why I’m late every day.”

My boss and I just stared at her, not really believing what we were hearing. 

Boss: “That is really something you need to sort out with your sister. It is not a company issue and not something we can accommodate to give you a later start. Maybe get up earlier?”

Intern: “Oh, okay, yeah. I hadn’t thought of that.”

Boss: “The other area of concern is the amount of time you spend on your cell phone during the day. We have no issue with taking a quick personal call outside of your breaks, but it’s been brought to our attention that you are constantly doing this every day, throughout the day.”

Intern: “I’m not sure who’s told you that, because I only take personal calls during my breaks.”

Boss: “The CEO brought it to my attention, and I’ve seen you myself.”

[Intern] kept quiet, not knowing what to say to this.

Me: “The bottom line, [Intern], is that you’re a good worker with potential. These are small issues that are easily fixable by you. Now that we’ve told you about them, you can work on fixing them before we meet for your next review in a month’s time. To summarise, I’d recommend that you get into the office about ten to fifteen minutes before 9:00 am so you’ve got time to settle in before you start work. And limit the personal calls to break times only, unless there’s an emergency. And lastly, if there’s an issue, talk to me. Sound okay?”

Intern: “Absolutely. I can definitely fix those things. Thanks so much!”

She did not; it only got worse. By her second review meeting, it was most of the above conversation all over again. By the third, we told her we were not extending her contract. 

The funniest part? She was not from Ireland and happened to be from a country another colleague was from, as well. I asked that colleague if this was normal behaviour there, and she said it absolutely was not. She also said that she’d talked to [Intern] herself to try and explain that it’s quite normal around the world to get into work before your start time to settle in, grab a coffee, etc. [Intern] had asked her, “Is that an Irish thing?”

My immediate supervisor and I work in the shipping department for our company We manage and control thousands of pounds of material that ship out of our facility every day. Things move pretty smoothly around here. Sometimes things back up when it’s really busy or if we’re short drivers, but in situations like that, we have third-party companies we can outsource shipping with.

Several times a week, we see emails from some of the owners or sales representatives asking why something that was just produced hasn’t been delivered yet, or they’re in the office breathing down our necks to make sure things are shipped out NOW! Then, we see emails from them saying to not hold orders and ship them out now! Even though we’ve explained to them that we don’t hold orders many, many, many times, they still yell at us for holding orders.

Long story short, if the material makes it to the floor, it has to be out the door instantly so we don’t get yelled at.

Then, we have other people in the company that can do no wrong, regardless of what kind of complaints come in about them from customers and vendors.

Take the ladies that handle Accounts Payable (AP). They can go up to a month before they get to invoicing orders for material that we’ve shipped out, but the owners don’t care, even after customers that have received material have called in asking why they don’t have any invoices for the material they received almost a month prior. This is a constant issue. Also, all invoices needed to be scanned into the server so we have both a paper and paperless backup. It can take multiple months for orders to get scanned into the server, and when we need to access this information it’s not scanned in the server yet. It takes months, but it’s okay — no problem found according to the owners.

These AP ladies constantly “work” from home. I don’t know how they can work from home because all the invoice paperwork is here at the office and they’re not allowed to take it with them because paperwork has been lost in the past. Yet, they’re allowed to “work” from home because they can respond to emails. Emails are about 25% of their normal job, but that’s because they email out invoices to customers, and if they’re not in the office to do invoicing, they aren’t emailing. They literally have nothing they can do at home for work, but apparently, it’s okay by ownership that they can “work” from home.

Next, we have the IT guy; he is never around. We can have computer issues that go on for days and days until he finally shows up. When we call him he’s aggravated that we’re bothering him and he tells us that he’ll be around soon. I usually have to fix most computer issues since this IT guy takes forever, but it’s okay that he can take a week or two to fix a computer issue; ownership doesn’t care.

Then, there are the owners’ daughters who work here. Out of the three owners, two of them have one daughter each that works here. The two girls are cousins. It was like a family feud when they started and worked in the same office space — constant yelling, bickering, and complaining. Eventually, [Daughter #1] was moved to the same building her dad worked in, so the drama between them ended. While it was entertaining to see, it was nice that the childish bickering ended.

[Daughter #1] now takes after her dad; she’s always out, poorly entering orders, and causing a lot of mistakes that cost the company a lot of time and money, but it’s never her fault. It’s always production’s fault or a shipping issue because we should have known the order she entered was wrong and fixed it for her.

The other owner’s daughter, [Daughter #2] started out great for about the first six months. She was always on top of things, never missing a beat, and not making any mistakes. She was set up to work under my supervisor. After six months, she sweet-talked her way into getting a raise, and after that raise, her work ethic dropped off the charts. She started coming in later and later, or she’d call with some BS excuse to not have to work for the day, and her mistakes kept piling up. Here are a few excuses she’s used to get out of work for the day.

Daughter #2: “I can’t come into work today because my cat is stuck behind the drier and I can’t just leave her there. I need the day off to work on getting her unstuck.”

Daughter #2: “My cat scratched my leg, and I don’t have any special antibiotic at home I can use that I’m not allergic to, so have to run out to stores until I find some. I won’t be in today.”

Daughter #2: “My cat threw up on the floor, so I have to take him to the vet and I won’t be in today.”

[Daughter #2] has changed her times from coming on her own accord without asking her supervisor. She used to come in around 7:00 am and work until 3:00 pm. Slowly, over time, she’s pushed her start time out later and later. Her hours are now around 10:30 am to 4:00 or maybe 5:00 pm, and customers are complaining that she’s not available when they need her. But that’s okay; she can’t do anything wrong.

Then, we have the lead supervisor for the floor. This guy is a piece of work. He dresses provocatively — shirt unbuttoned down to his navel so we can see his nipples and pants so tight you can see everything. He pees on the floor in the bathrooms, and he only hires women to work in the Quality Control department and takes bets with others to see how long it takes to sleep with them… yet he can’t do anything wrong.

Sadly, the thing is that in any other place I’ve worked, there are always people like these of some kind causing similar issues. You have to learn to work with them or go somewhere else and work with similar problematic people.

I worked at a strip club for over sixteen years. I’ve heard a bunch of excuses about why customers think they deserve their money back.

Every once in a while, a customer would walk in, spend a few moments scoping it out, and decide they didn’t want to be there anymore because there were not enough dancers or too many girls, their favorite dancer wasn’t there, their specific type wasn’t there, we were playing music they didn’t like, we don’t serve alcohol, etc.

I’ve even been told a few times that the girls were unattractive! Usually, when they say that, I tell them:

Me: “Well, sir, I’m pretty sure even they wouldn’t give you the time of day outside of this club.”

That usually broke their spirits. I loved doing that.