(A couple of foreign college students come in and order fruit smoothies. I start to ring them up.)
Customer #1: “I’m a senior.”
Me: “What?”
Customer #2: “Yes, we’re seniors.”
Me: “…”
Customer #2: *motioning to the blackboard* “Thursday is… senior discount day, right?”
Me: “Oh! That’s for people who are over 55… Not…”
(They both burst out laughing.)
Related:
Having A Senior Moment
(I’m a cashier at a very busy grocery store. I ring up this older guy’s items. He also has a young kid with him.)
Me: “Your total is $9.01.”
Customer: “Okay, can you just get rid of the penny, so I don’t have to break a dollar?”
Me: “I don’t have any pennies on me, and if you don’t have a penny I can put in my drawer, then, no, I can’t just ‘get rid of the penny.’”
Customer: “Are you serious? Wow, this is ridiculous. You guys do it for me all the time!”
(This makes me wonder how often he does this.)
Me: “Well, I don’t believe it’s allowed to just change the total.”
Customer: “Can’t you ask?” *rolls eyes*
Me: “Uh, no. I already know the answer. I’m sorry, but are you sure you don’t have any change?”
Customer: *angrily hands me a dollar*
Me: *gives him 99 cents back, with a big smile on my face* “Have a fantastic day, sir!”
(I know it’s just a penny, but come on, dude. Just pay your total and don’t throw a fit.)
(I work in an ice cream shop. The phone rings and, as the manager on, I answer it.)
Caller: “Hi, do you sell Pepto-Bismol-flavored ice cream?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Caller: “Like the stomach-relief stuff. Do you have an ice cream flavor like that?”
Me: “Uh, no, we do not.”
Caller: “I have a headache; will ice cream help that?”
Me: “I really am not sure.”
Caller: *in a chipper voice* “Okay, thanks!” *hangs up*
Me: “What the f*** just happened?!”
(I’m a bagger at a popular grocery store. A woman has approached the register with a balloon that says “Get Well Soon” and a bouquet of roses. It’s also clear that English isn’t her first language.)
Me: “Is your friend okay?”
Customer: *happily* “It her birthday.”
(I assume her friend had gotten sick on her birthday, so I finish bagging her things.)
Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am, and I hope your friend feels better soon.”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “That’s a ‘Get Well Soon’ balloon, right?”
Customer: “It not birthday balloon?”
Me: “Um, no. That’s a ‘Get Well Soon’ balloon. You give it to a friend who’s sick and hope they, well… ‘Get Well Soon.’”
Customer: “Oh! Can I exchange for different one?”
(I pointed her towards the customer service desk, and later saw her leaving with a proper birthday balloon. It’s nice to know that I stopped someone from potentially embarrassing themselves at a birthday party.)
Me: “Aloha! [Hotel] operator. How may I help you?”
Guest: “Hi, I wanted to know if you guys charge for parking, and how much?”
Me: “Yes. We charge $29 for self-parking and $36 if you are going to use our valet services.”
(This seems really high, but for Waikiki, this is pretty good.)
Guest: “Oh, but my car is going to be one of those smaller smart cars. Do I get a discount for that?”
Me: *a couple of seconds of pause to register this* “No, ma’am. The price will be the same, because you are paying for the space.”
Guest: “But it’s not as big as a regular car. There’s no discount?”
Me: “No, ma’am, the price will remain the same, as long as you park within our parking structure.”
Guest: “Well, okay. Thanks.” *obviously disappointed and agitated, hangs up*
