(I work at a deli in a grocery store. Sometimes customers place their baskets on top of the high counter, which is against health codes because we stack them on the floor when they’re not being used, and also because it blocks other customers from receiving their cold cuts and blocks us from seeing the customers. This day in particular is very busy. A customer comes up to the counter and orders while placing his basket on the counter.)

Me: “Sir, could you please take the basket off the counter?”

Customer: “Well, where do you want me to put it if I do?”

Me: “You could put it on the ground or hold it. We don’t allow them on the counter because the bottom can be dirty and it blocks our view of the customers.”

Customer: “I don’t want it on the ground! The ground is filthy, and I have food in my basket!”

Me: “Then you can most certainly hold the basket while you order.”

Customer: “Listen, little girl, I’m not putting my basket on the floor, and I don’t want to hold it, so just give it a f****** rest, b****.”

Me: *smiling* “Well, then, sir, I’m going to have to stop slicing your order until you take the basket off the counter.”

Customer: “All right, you little s***, let me speak to your manager!”

(As he asks for my manager, there is a loud crash and we look over and see that his basket has fallen off the counter and all of the contents are covered with milk and tomato sauce.)

Manager: *from the other end of the deli* “THAT’S ALSO WHY WE DON’T ALLOW BASKETS ON TOP OF THE DELI COUNTER!”

(The customer, red faced and cursing, walked away from the scene, while the other customers clapped and booed him since they had been waiting so long while he fought with me!)

(I work in online chat support for a famous gaming and console company. We can do many things on chat, from sending you a password reset email, to light tech support and troubleshooting for your console, and setting you up for service if need be. We take two chats at a time to help as many people as possible. In this particular story, I am assisting with a refund. Generally, things go well, but when consumers are angry, they are hellions.)

Me: “Thank you for contacting [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How may I assist you today?”

Consumer: “Refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear you’re having an issue with your account; I’ll be happy to assist you with that. May I have the email, username, and first and last name of the exact account that you need assistance with?”

Consumer: “Oh, I don’t have an account; it’s my son’s account. He used my credit card and bought some game. I want the charge reversed, now.”

Me: “I understand, and I’ll be more than happy to assist you with that, but I need the account information. That way I can find the charge.”

(She doesn’t know the information offhand, and we dance around for ten minutes while she figures it out. She’s upset, but she’s being pleasant and I’m doing my best to help her. She finally gets the info, I see the charge, and I check our guidelines to make sure it qualifies.)

Me: “Thank you so much for your patience. According to our terms of service, all sales are final, but I am going to submit this to our refund specialists as a one-time gesture of goodwill. Refunds take three to five business days to process, and the funds will be returned to your son’s online account if approved. Your case number is [number]. Is there anything else I can assist you with today?”

Consumer: “I want to speak to your supervisor.”

Me: *confused, because I just approved the refund, I check over my previous message to make sure I didn’t leave anything out* “My apologies. I’m going to submit this to our refund specialists, and I’ll make sure I notate this thoroughly to do everything I can to make sure it’s approved by them. May I ask why you would like to speak to the supervisor? That way I can let them know what’s going on.”

Consumer: “No, I want your supervisor now! You can’t help me with my request, anyway!”

Me: “Okay, I can transfer you, but it may take a few minutes because my supervisor is currently helping someone. I may be able to fulfill this request. We are able to help with most things over chat. This will save you some time.”

Consumer: “I don’t care how long it takes. I want your supervisor, because you can’t help me. SUPERVISOR, NOW!”

Me: “Not a problem. I am transferring you; my supervisor will be with you as soon as he is available.”

(I start helping my other consumer. The chat window for a person who is being transferred doesn’t disappear until the supervisor accepts the chat, and we can continue talking to people until they have been accepted by the supervisor. My escalation is waiting patiently, but it is taking the supervisor a long time to accept her chat. Every ten minutes she asks if I’m still there and what’s happening, and I apologize and say the supervisor will be with her as soon as possible. After about thirty minutes, she seems to have calmed down.)

Consumer: “This is taking a long time.”

Me: “I truly apologize for the wait; unfortunately, my supervisor is still helping someone. If I may ask why you would like to speak to him, I can see if I can help.”

Consumer: “Well, I want the money to go back to my credit card. My son doesn’t deserve the money after spending it without permission.”

Me: “Oh! I understand. I can request that the funds are sent back to your card and not back to his account! I do have to advise that it still takes three to five business days for us to process the refund, and if approved, it may take up to two billing cycles for the funds to be sent to your card from your bank. I can definitely request that the funds are sent to your card, though!”

Consumer: “No, it’s okay. I want the supervisor, still.”

Me: “No problem. He’ll be with you as soon as he is available.”

(After that she waited another ten minutes, then got transferred. I checked back in with that case to see how the supervisor handled it. She told him what she wanted, and he requested the refund was sent to her card. I could’ve easily done this and saved us an hour of our time, but no, she just needed a supervisor, and she just had to kill my handle time. I have many stories from this job that I’ll probably submit. It can be such a cool and gratifying job, but when it’s not, it’ll make sure you die at 25 from high blood pressure.)

(I work in a single-location clothing boutique, and the credit card chip reading machines aren’t always up and running for smaller businesses. Because of this, we check ID on every credit transaction, no matter the amount.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total is [total].”

Customer: *hands me an unsigned card*

Me: “And would you happen to have your ID on you?”

Customer: *side eyes me, but pulls it out* “W… Why do you need my ID?”

Me: “It’s just our policy, especially if the card is unsigned!”

Customer: *stares blankly*

Me: *trying to make a joke* “I’m just making sure you’re spending your own money!”

Customer: “But… but I’ve had this card since 1986. Why wouldn’t it be my money? You’re supposed to sign your card?”

Me: “Oh, that’s what the little box on the back is for! At any rate, we’d just rather check ID, to make sure you and we are protected.”

Customer: “But it’s my money.”

(She then wandered away, totally confused about how someone who wasn’t her could be using her credit card. Poor lady.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 78
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 77
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 76

(I am the customer in this story. This takes place just after Daylight Savings Time goes into effect in Europe. I walk into a store and see the store owner awkwardly balanced on a chair, adjusting a clock that is mounted on a high shelf.)

Me: *singing* “Oh, the times, they are a-changin’!”

(I couldn’t help it, but at least she laughed.)

(Our professor tells us this story about her student visiting Hungary and going out to eat.)

Student: “I’ll have the Gulag, please.”

Waiter: “Excuse me?”

Student: “Gulag.”

Waiter: “Oh, you mean goulash. You don’t want to say that other word again.”

(Goulash is a traditional stew. A Gulag was a Soviet work camp.)