Me: “Thank you for calling Guest Relations; this is [My Name]. How can I assist you today?”

Guest: “I need to cancel my reservation I had a death in the family, and I won’t be able to make it.”

Me: “I’m certainly sorry to hear about that. I can contact the hotel for you and see if they would be willing to cancel the reservation without penalty. Can you give me the confirmation number?”

(Just then, his wife is in the background yelling at him, trying to take the phone away. She is calling him a liar and telling him that he is going to h*** if he does not tell me the truth. Then, she gets on the phone and says…)

Guest’s Wife: “I’m really sorry, but my husband is a liar and there was no death in the family. He made a mistake and booked the wrong hotel, and he doesn’t have the balls to admit it.”

Me: “Oh! Well, then, yeah…”

Guest’s Wife: “I have told him not to do it, but he did.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but our policies and procedure for this rate are very strict. I would not be able to cancel the reservation for you without a penalty.”

Guest’s Wife: “SO YOU’RE A LIAR, TOO! You told my husband you would see if you can cancel without a penalty and now you can’t! BULLS***!”

Me: “Ma’am, I have to ask you to watch your language. We can contact the hotels if it’s an emergency. But we can never guarantee that it will be cancelled without a penalty for you. I advised that I would ask for you–”

Guest’s Wife: “FINE, THEN! IF IT HAS TO BE THAT WAY THEN I DIED; JUST TELL THEM THAT. I’M SURE THEY WOULD CANCEL THAT, THEN. RIGHT?!”

Me: “But ma’am you can’t be dead; I am talking to you. I’m sorry. I can’t cancel the reservation for you. If I do, you will be charged.”

Guest’s Wife: “YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON! YOU DON’T CARE IF WE DIED! I DEMAND A REFUND OF THIS. NOW.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I’m not able to assist at this time, so you guys have a great day.”

Guest’s Wife: “FINE, THEN! THIS WAS POINTLESS. Thanks for nothing, you heartless b****.”

Me: “You have a great day!”

(This person was the laughing stock of the day. She had the nerve to call back four times and try to convince someone to cancel the reservation for her with the same sob story again. Some people…)

This story is part of the Hypocritical Customers roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

10 Customers Who Lied About Their Health To Get Ahead

Read the next Hypocritical Customers roundup story!

Read the Hypocritical Customers roundup!

(I am working a children’s show at this theatre and this woman is helping a child with special needs. I am closing the theatre when she comes running up to me.)

Woman: “I think I left my phone inside the theatre. Can I just go check?”

(I let her inside and we begin looking where she had been sitting; neither of us can find it. At this point, she is on her knees sitting up, digging through her pockets.)

Woman: “Where the h*** could it have…”

(She freezes and pulls her phone out of her pocket. She looks at it and then THROWS IT UNDER A SEAT. She then bends over and grabs it.)

Woman: “I found it! Thank you so much.”

Me: *stifling laughter* “You’re welcome.”

This story is part of the Problems That Resolve Themselves roundup!

Read the next Problems That Resolve Themselves roundup story!

Read the Problems That Resolve Themselves roundup!

(An extremely difficult older customer was waiting on hold to speak to me while I was on the line with another customer. He impatiently hung up several times and called back as though terrorizing the receptionists would get him on the phone with me any faster.)

Me: “Sorry to keep you holding, how can I help you?”

Older Male Customer: “I demand that you remove that hold music immediately because I refuse to listen to it! I also don’t appreciate waiting! I’m very busy and don’t have the time to waste to talk to you!”

Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience, but I was on the line with another customer.”

Older Male Customer: “Now I’m going to waste your time by staying on the line so you can’t take any other calls!”

Me: “Okay…”

Older Male Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

(The silence continues for several more pointless seconds.)

Older Male Customer: “Let me speak to the owner!”

Me: “Alright, he’s on the other line so it’ll just be a moment.”

Older Male Customer: “NO, I don’t want to be put on hold! I want to speak to him NOW! Just write on a piece of paper that LEONARD ***** is on the phone and go in his office and wave it in front of his face.”

(I put him on hold and he immediately hangs up and calls back screaming about having to wait. I try to transfer the call to the owner but he hangs up as soon as he’s put on hold and the cycle repeats itself.)

Me: “Sir, I -have- to put you on hold in order to transfer the call.”

Older Male Customer: “No, just transfer the call without putting me on hold!”

Me: “I’m sorry but that’s physically impossible…”

Older Male Customer: “I don’t care! Do it anyway!”

Me: *sigh*

(I’m a girl, and I work in a video game store.)

Dude: “Are you guys hiring?”

Me: “No, we just let some people go actually.”

Dude: “Oh, I assumed they were desperate. I mean, they hired a girl.”

Me: “I’ve worked here for three years.”

Dude: “Oh, well can I ask the manager anyway?”

Me: “Sure, he’s standing right over there.” *points to next register*

Manager: “Don’t even ask. You just insulted my assistant manager.”

(I am calling customers with overdue movies to remind them that they are due back.)

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, this is Lynne up at Movie M**** and I was just calling to remind you that The Bourne Identity and Barnyard were both due back about six days ago. So, if you could get those back to–”

Customer: “I told the guy that called last night I didn’t rent those movies!”

Me: “Well, sir, I can give you the exact time and date they were rented, if that would help you remember…”

Customer: “And when the hell did I supposedly rent these movies?”

Me: “Wednesday, the 23rd at 7:13 pm.”

Customer: “I didn’t rent them! I was out of the country last week!”

Me: “Sir, do you have a brother?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have a brother! Why in the h*** do you want to know that?!”

Me: “Because if you were out of the country then it must be your twin brother on the security tape renting those movies.”

(Customer sputters for a moment.)

Me: “If you can get those back to us before we close tonight at 10 pm, there will be no further late charges.”

Customer: “Okay.” *hangs up*