Keeping Up Appearances

(I am working a children’s show at this theatre and this woman is helping a child with special needs. I am closing the theatre when she comes running up to me.)

Woman: “I think I left my phone inside the theatre. Can I just go check?”

(I let her inside and we begin looking where she had been sitting; neither of us can find it. At this point, she is on her knees sitting up, digging through her pockets.)

Woman: “Where the h*** could it have…”

(She freezes and pulls her phone out of her pocket. She looks at it and then THROWS IT UNDER A SEAT. She then bends over and grabs it.)

Woman: “I found it! Thank you so much.”

Me: *stifling laughter* “You’re welcome.”

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