Customer: “How do you get the boat to spin like we just did? Is it hooked up to wires?”
Me: “Um… ma’am, we are rafting on a river. This is not a ride. There are no wires.”
Customer: “I thought this was a ride, like at a theme park.”
Me: “No, ma’am, this is a real river.”
Customer: “Oh, okay. Guess I better not fall out, then.” *continues paddling*
I’m working at a parking lot in a nice oceanfront community. The parking lot is owned by the city and has a strict closing time of 8:00 pm (I suppose because it is in a residential neighborhood, not the resort area). At 8:00 pm, security will call to tow any cars left, and the gate to the parking lot is locked. The operating hours and “towing strictly enforced” are written on a large sign in front of my booth.
Today happens to be the Fourth of July, and the city puts on a fireworks display over the ocean every year. The resort area is packed, so people will try to come to this parking lot to park and go to the beach to see the fireworks. I make extra sure to remind people wanting to park that this parking lot will be closed and locked before the fireworks even start.
A guy pulls in to park.
Me: “Hey! Just so you know, this parking lot will be closing at 8:00, and any cars left here at that time will be towed.”
Driver: “What? But I’m going to a house party down the street and my buddy said I could park here overnight! Can’t you just let me stay?”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. I’m not even the one who calls the tow truck or locks the gate, so I can’t give you a pass.”
Driver: “Come on, please?”
Me: “I literally cannot.”
Driver: “F*** you!”
He speeds off. A couple of hours later, my husband drops by to deliver me a sandwich and hang out for a minute. While he’s there, the guy from earlier pulls back in.
Driver: “Look, I’m really sorry. I’m a lifeguard, so I can guess some of what you’re up against with the regulations. I shouldn’t have lost my cool.”
Me: *Impressed* “Thanks. I really appreciate that.”
Driver: “So… Can I park?”
By this time, it’s about an hour or two until the parking lot closes.
Me: “Sure, but remember you have to get out of here by 8:00 or your car will be towed.”
Driver: “Seriously?! F*** you!” *Drives off again*
Husband: “What the…?”
This story is part of our Fourth-Of-July-themed roundup!
Want to read the next Fourth-Of-July-themed roundup story? Click here!
Dear readers,
If you’ve ever wanted to spot wildlife in their natural habitats or see the beauty of the world preserved and kept safe from industry and urban sprawl, visiting national parks is a great way to start! These government-protected lands are excellent places to learn and observe. They also tend to attract tourists.
Most tourists know how national parks work. They understand that the animals are wild and that the land is to be respected. Other tourists struggle with that. We’ve rounded up ten stories from our archives about tourists who just don’t get national parks!
Their Death Is Worth Less – What you mean is that it’s not important to you. Jerk.
Those Pesky Survival Instincts – Who lets the dogs out?
Happy PTLBOTT Day! – Somebody missed “seasons” day in first grade.
(I work at a farm park — halfway between a petting zoo and a theme park, centred around farm animals. During busy times, staff go out into the car park to direct traffic and make sure customers aren’t parking incorrectly. It is a particularly busy day, and we’ve moved to our overflow car park, which is a little removed from the entrance, but no more than two minutes’ walk. A woman drives up to me and I direct her into the overflow park, but she doesn’t stop, and instead pulls up by me and winds down her window.)
Customer: “Is there not anywhere closer? I’ve got my little girl with me.”
(For reference, the park is aimed at two- to eight-year-olds. Everyone has their children with them.)
Me: “I’m afraid not, madam. It’s an incredibly busy day for us, and we’ve filled our two main car parks already.”
Customer: *craning her neck to look past me as if I’m hiding something* “There must be somewhere. We can’t walk this far; she’s only three!”
Me: “I’m very sorry, but there’s nothing I can do. It’s a busy day.”
Customer: “Do you have disabled parking?”
Me: “Yes, for blue badge holders.”
Customer: “My daughter is three! There must be somewhere nearer. I’m going to have a look.”
(She drove away. Five minutes later, she was driving out of the park, looking mildly confused. I got called onto my lunch break around that point so, luckily, I didn’t have to face her coming back round. I’m not sure what she thought I was doing — trying to hide the best spaces for some reason?)
(When my son is eight, our family goes to a certain theme park with a mouse mascot. We have long had the rule that when we’re at amusement parks, one souvenir may be picked and it must wait to be picked up at the end of the day; for this trip, the former is amended to “one souvenir per park segment.” One day, my son picks out a hand-sized plush of a certain alien character and while he’s clearly eager to take it home, he patiently waits while enjoying all the rides and attractions we go on. After picking up his older sister’s souvenir, we head for the exit near the cart where he spots the plush and walks up to the staff member manning it. Unfortunately, it quickly becomes clear that there aren’t any of the small plushes out anymore, but we ask the staff member anyway.)
Me: “Excuse me; do you have any of the small [Character] plushes left?”
Staff Member: “Sorry; they’re all gone.”
(My son looks absolutely heartbroken but doesn’t complain. We start to leave, but then I stop us and turn to my husband.)
Me: “We’re getting him the next size up.”
(We did, indeed, get him the next size up of the plush, and he still has it to this day.)
