While doing our weekly grocery shopping it begins to storm outside, the kind of thunderstorm that will soak you to the bone in a matter of seconds. Once my wife, my 2 children, and I are done checking out we stop at the front door to decide if we want to wait for the rain to stop. After checking the weather we decide that it is going to last a while, so I just decide to suck it up and go out to get the car, leaving my wife and kids to wait for me to pull up. I of course get soaked to the bone on my way out. Once I get to the entrance I start loading my kids in the car when the store manager approaches us. I assume she is going to tell me I can’t park there, but instead she proceeds to help me load my groceries into the trunk, along with about 4 other employees all of them getting soaked as well. I have never had that kind of service before and it’s nice to know that there are still people out there willing to help their customers even if it doesn’t help their bottom line.

I work in a cell phone store and a customer calls up.

Me : Thank you for calling **** my name is Tony, how can I help you?

Cust : yes how much data do you get on an unlimited plan?

Me: unlimited…

Cust : how about calls, and I text a lot?

Me : it’s unlimited..

Cust: ok well I got a message saying I’m over my data. Why’s that?

Me: (looks up her account) well you’re not on an unlimited plan. You only have a 1Gb plan.

Cust : oh well I knew that but why did I get a notification saying I’m over my usage.

Me : Because you’re over your 1Gb of data…

Cust : oh ok, thanks. (Click)

*We have five popcorn makers at our theater, four of which are currently broken. I hvae been making fresh popcorn all morning, transporting it from the one working machine to the broken ones, so that things at least LOOK nice.  I only serve guests out of the machine that works, though, so they can have fresh, hot popcorn. I’ve just finished making another batch, when a man approaches my counter.*

Me: Hey there! What can I get for you?

Customer: Can I get a large popcorn?

Me: Sure thing! *I head to the working machine to get him the fresh popcorn, which is the machine farthest away from my register.*

Man: Going on a journey for my popcorn, eh? *joking tone*

Me: Haha, yeah. *returning* That popper has the freshest popcorn, I just made it a minute ago.

Man: Oh, well, thank you!

*He pays and is on his way, and I think nothing of it. A few moments later, though, he’s back, with his full bag of popcorn*

Man: Um, this popcorn is cold.

Me: What?

Man: The popcorn. It’s cold.

Me: That– doesn’t make any sense, I just popped it. I’m so sorry! *taking the bag from him. The bag is still warm. I hold my hand over the popcorn to see if it’s radiating heat, which it is. I look at him, confused*

Man: Yeah. It’s just no good. 

Me: … Let me get you some fresh? *I toss the popcorn in his bag into the garbage, and then refill the bag with popcorn form the exact same popper as before, before handing it back to him*

Man: *eating some of the popcorn* Much better. You should only ever serve fresh popcorn!

Me: I’ll… keep that in mind.

So at my work I sell a lot of baked goods all day. Today, an elderly man with a cane entered the shop. He was very jolly and wanted to buy a pie. He asked, “What kind of pies do you have?” I told him a few from our selection. He said, “Do you have huckleberry pie? Ooh I love huckleberries!” I told him no, but we have so many berry pies! Strawberry, blueberry, blackberry… He paused, and leaned close. With a very serious face he told me that he knew what berry that we definitely didn’t have. I assumed he was going to list off a rare berry from his youth on the farm. I asked him what berry. He looked up at me and exclaimed “Dingleberry!!!” Gotta love the elderly!

Two ladies are shopping together and one runs over to the yogurt section I’m working next to.

Customer (to her friend): I’m looking for my yogurt! They always sell out of my flavor before I get here, it’s the best one. Banana!

I look over and realize she’s looking for an item we don’t sell.

Me: I’m sorry, we don’t sell banana-flavored by Brand1. We have banana by Brand2 and banana cream pie by brand3 and brand4, though.

Customer: I always look for it here but it’s the best one so it sells out before I get to it. Everyone likes banana for some reason.

Me: Actually it’s not there because we don’t sell it. Some of our other locations may, but we only have those other brands I mentioned. I’m sorry about that.

Customer: Oh, that’s okay. I’ll just check back next time I’m in, you sell out of my flavor so fast!

me: *dies inside*