In 1936 my great-grandfather left the Royal Navy with the rank of Chief Petty Officer after 22 years service.  He then joined the Admiralty as a Naval Paymaster.  During the war he was posted to Ceylon (now Sri Lanka).  Much to his chagrin, the authorities insisted that he be given a formal rank and appointed him Lieutenant-Commander. Although he had a uniform, he swore that he would never wear it.

One day a U.S. Sub-Lieutenant needed some information from him and demanded that he presented it to him on board his vessel the following morning.  My great-grandfather went home and asked his wife to lay out his dress uniform.
“But Robert, you said you would never wear it.”
“Olive, tomorrow I am making an exception.”

The following morning he arrived at the U.S. vessel, in uniform, and was piped aboard.  The vessel`s captain, being massively out-ranked by a Naval Lieutenant-Commander, asked very respectfully what he wanted.  My great-grandfather said that Mr ***** had demanded that he bring this information to him and therefore he was doing so.

One hopes that the U.S. Sub-Lieutenant was never again quite so high-handed with a `civilian` worker and also that he recovered from the chewing-out that he will have received from his captain.

(I work the service desk at a well-known retail chain, and often get phone calls starting with, “So I was in your store earlier and I never got this item I bought…” Today I got one of those calls.)
*Phone rings*
Me: “Thank you for calling (store name and town), how may I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, hi, I was in your store earlier and I bought a discounted pie that I never got.”
Me: “Alright, no problem. Do you remember which register you were at?” (I am prepared to help him locate the register number on the receipt when he starts swearing a blue streak at me.)
Customer: “That ****ing cashier stole my ****ing pie! It was a discounted pie, why the **** would they want it? I ****ing demand my pie and a refund!”
Me: “Sir, if you can just calm down, I can get it from the register and hold it at the service desk-“
Customer: “No, they ****ing stole my ****ing pie! (Insert long string of profanities here. I attempt once more to offer a solution but he cuts me off and continues swearing at me about how I work with a bunch of thieves.)
Me: “Alright sir let me just connect you to my supervisor. Hold on one minute.” *on the walkie* “CSM, can you get the phone call on line one?”
CSM: *picks up the phone, listens for a minute, then hangs up.*
Me: “What was that about?”
CSM: “He wouldn’t stop swearing at me so I hung up on him.” *smiles at me and then walks off to do other things.*

(Update: the pie was brought up to the desk later that afternoon. It cost a whopping $3 and was in terrible condition, and he never came back for it either. All this fuss over a busted up pie that he didn’t even want to return for.)

So, my dad and I went to the coffee shop one afternoon. It’s important to note that I always wear a Triforce necklace. After we took our orders, this happened:
Employee: Okay, then. I love your necklace, by the way.
Me: *grins*
Dad: *blankly stares because he doesn’t play Legend of Zelda*

Me – “Thank you for choosing Tim Horton’s. This is Hannah what can I get for you?”

Customer – “Give me the damn vanilla?”

Me – “I’m sorry?”

Customer – “The DAMN VANILLA!”

Exasperated me – “I’ll have your total at the window”

Me: “Hello can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(She thrusts a bag full of dirty laundry and a laundry form at me.)

Me: “Ok, you filled it? Ok, thank you, I’ll send this off.”

Customer: “Well?”

Me: “Well, what?”

Customer: “Are you thick? You’re supposed to give me a copy!”

(I realized that she’s talking about the form.)

Me: “Oh! I um, don’t think that we did that anymore…”

(I’m not sure because I don’t work the day shift and the manager is always changing the rules.)

Customer: “Oh for heaven’s sake! Here!” *rips off top copy and thrusts it at me* “I keep this! God, they can’t do anything here!” *storms off* 

(Geez who peed in her cereal?)