(I was a checker in a grocery store who was working after the managers had already gone home and the stockers were working the aisles. There was a certain customer who most of us dreaded dealing with because he said inappropriate things to the checkers as “jokes.” One night he comes storming up to my check lane, basket in hand. Important to the story: a certain [rice mix] was on sale.)

Customer: “There isn’t any beef [rice mix] on the shelf! This is [expletive deleted] ridiculous.”

Me: “Did you ask the stockers? There might be more in back.”

Customer: “You ask the stockers. That’s your job. I’m not going back there for that.”

(I sign out of my register and walk to the aisle the rice was in with him following right behind me. The stockers were stocking the [rice mix] section and had been for a while. I ask one of the stockers if there is any more beef [rice mix] on the pallet or in back, and he says they are completely out and gives me the date they expect more which is after the sale is over. I turn back to the customer.)

Me: “If you go up to the office they will give you a rain check for the rice.”

Customer: “I don’t want an [expletive] rain check I want my beef [rice mix]!”

Me: “The store brand is cheaper than the sale price on the [rice mix] and there is a beef one.”

Customer: (now screaming) “This is [expletive]! I will have your job for this!”

I was tired and past caring. I said, “You can have my job. It really isn’t that good.”

(He stared at me for a moment in disbelief and the stockers started laughing. He screamed that he was going to have us all fired. Then he walked to a different register, checked out, and left. I never heard anything from management and I never saw him again. It wasn’t a glorious triumph, but I’m counting it as a win.)

On the Boxing Day holiday the Monday following Boxing Day something truly wonderful happened. I work for a large scale retailer, it’s around 5:45pm and an elderly woman has fallen in our register queuing and while the manager is trying to help her with the supervisor I’ve been left in charge of the Service department, as the only other team members on that night are all new hires, I’m rushing back and forth from terminals helping with the problems presenting themselves, as the other operators are busy I sign on to my terminal to serve an older lady and a man I assume is her husband.

As I serve her I ask her how her day has been and if she had enjoyed the holiday season.

Customer : Oh I haven’t been out in so long I’ve spent more than a year in hospital

Me: Oh dear me, well it’s a good thing that you’re well and about now

Customer: Thank you that’s very sweet

As I finish the transaction and her card is approved she smiles at me and says

Customer : Thank you so much, I saw how busy you were helping your coworkers and you went out of your way to serve me…”

Me: Oh no worries at all, it’s all in the job

Customer : You see I’ve got very bad depression and anxiety, I wasn’t expecting such kindness and patience from a stranger, you’re a lovely young man, you’ve really helped me today, thank you so much

Me: Oh thank you so much, I’m so glad I could help you

Customer : No, thank you. I hope they appreciate you here and I hope your night is restful and you have a happy new year, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Me: Oh thank you so much, that’s a wonderful thing to hear.

Customer: You have a good day now.

Me: And you too it’s been lovely talking to you.

This is the loveliest thing at work to have happened to me and I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

(I work in a call center that sets up medical transportation for people with certain types of health insurance. Before they can actually speak to a representative they have to listen to a brief 30 second recording that reminds them that we require 3 days notice to set up transportation. The recording also reminds them to be prepared to give the CSR the address, appointment date, and phone number of the doctor’s office. SPOILER — some of them call unprepared with this information which gets frustrating. Some of them give us less than 3 days notice, which is even more frustrating since that means I have to call the doctor’s office to verify the urgency of the appointment. This is one of those times.)

Me: Okay ma’am, may I have the phone number to the doctor’s office please?

Woman: I don’t have that information on me.

Me: Ma’am, I advised you at the beginning of this conversation that I need all the trip information to set you up as it is also stated in the recording before you speak to me.

Woman: I already told you that I don’t have that information.

Me: Let me ask you this then. Let’s say something happened where you got sick and you have to cancel your appointment. How would you get in touch with the doctor’s office to let them know?

(You’ll be surprised how well this question works in getting the phone number from the member, a phenomenon I will never understand)

Woman: OOHH, you mean the doctor’s receptionist number?!? That number is ###-###-####

(shaking my head at the ridiculousness of it all)

Our bookstore is located a short block from a ferry terminal. Especially in summer, we get a lot of customers who mention to us that they are killing time while waiting for a ferry. This happens several times a week:

Me: Thank you, and have a good trip.

Customer: You too… I mean…Goodbye.

(My family has gone out to dinner at a restaurant where you assemble your own stir-fry. Me, my dad, aunt and uncle, and grandma. It’s been quite a while since any of us ate here, and the procedure has been slightly different every time. Our waitress comes over with a selection of bowl sizes to choose from, and a stack of cards that get filled out to identify the orders once they’re cooked. She starts with my dad.)

Waitress: Okay, medium bowl. Can I get a name, sir?

Dad: [Last Name].

Me: *to the waitress* Wait, first name or last name?

Dad: Really? Do you really need to ask that?

Me: Well, since four out of five of us are [Last Name]s…

(My dad shoots me his “why are you pretending to be stupid” look, like he thinks I’m making a joke but can’t figure out what the punchline will be. The waitress just hands him his card and starts writing on another.)

Waitress: *to me* Okay, and you’ve got a medium bowl…

Me: [My Name].

Dad: Wait, what?

Waitress: Each of you gets a card to go with your bowl.

Me: Yeah, so my food has my name on it.

(The rest of the night went smoothly though!)