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Untouched and raw stories: unedited, uncensored, unformatted, and sometimes unbelievable!

Unfiltered Story #47654

Unfiltered | December 23, 2015

Little Sister 1: I can read every book in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD!

Little Sister 2: Even (My name)’s books?

Little Sister 1: No.

Unfiltered Story #27956

Unfiltered | December 23, 2015

Note: I’m 28 and I have my 16 year old friend staying with me after she had a fight with her parents.

My friend: *on phone* Are you drunk? *To me* He’s so drunk. *Puts phone on speaker*

Her friend: *Slurring* Hiiiiiiii.

Me: G”day, buddy.

Her friend: Buddy? Buddy? I have been friends with (name) since I was 9, so like, before you were born.

Me: How old are you?

Her friend: 23.

Me: Sweetheart, I have underwear older than you

Her friend: Uh… You know what? I deserved that.

Unfiltered Story #67043

Unfiltered | December 23, 2015

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return these two coats. The tag of one of them accidentally fell off while I tried it on, can I still return it?”

Me: “Yeah, sure, just let me check the article numbers….”

(the coats look unworn, though the one without the tag has a little stain on the sleeve. However, as I check the article number on the receipt and am about to enter the return into the system the customer suddenly seems to remember something)

Customer: “Oh, do you mind if I quickly check the pockets? Just in case I left something in there?”

(This comment makes me mildly suspicious – why would someone leave something in the pocket of a coat he just tried on for a moment? – and I am baffled as he pulls a chocolate bar out of the inside pocket)

Me: “Um. Did you already wear the coat by any chance? You know that you can only return unworn merchandise, right?”

Customer: “I only tried it on at home…”

Me: “And you left a little snack in there…?”

Customer: “Well, it was for a couple of hours…”

Me: “So, you tried the coat on at home for a couple of hours and put a chocolate bar into the pocket in case you might get hungry, is that right?”

Customer: “Well, I happened to go shopping while trying it on.”

Me: “….Yeah, sorry, I’m not taking that back…”

Customer: “It was worth a try…”

Unfiltered Story #32227

Unfiltered | December 23, 2015

In 5th form English (different teacher) we were on the laptops one of boys the was bored and started to look at Dicks pictures on Google when it freezes goes blank

The maths computer teck come to fix it.

Maths Teacher: ” So, what were doing when it stop work [boys name]”

Boys friend: “He was dicking around” Boy gives his mate a death stare

Boy: “I was on google, doing my work”

Maths Teacher: “Ahh fix it and good news it it should go back to what you where look at”

Maths teacher: ” [boys name you were not joking you say you were dicking around, and best not to do it again.”

English teacher: ” Something you wish to tell use [boys name]”

The boy look like he was about to die.

Apart of the awesome school, awesome teachers. so was the statistics is bulls*it

Unfiltered Story #56678

Unfiltered | December 23, 2015

(I am a 19-year-old college student going home for the summer, and I’m getting ready for a long, 3-plane trip. I have been waiting a minute for my backpack to go through screening, when I realize the agent is staring at something on the monitor, looking pale. He calls another agent over, and they both stare worriedly at the monitor, talking in hushed voices. They end up calling their supervisor over.)

Supervisor: *takes my backpack from the machine and brings it to a table near me, looking at me seriously.* “Is this yours?”

Me: “Yes?”

Supervisor: “Is there anything dangerous or illegal in here?”

Me: “…There shouldn’t be?” *I know my backpack hasn’t been out of my sight, but her tone and expression are making me nervous.*

(The supervisor slowly grabbed my backpack’s zippers…slowly unzipped them…slowly looked inside…to see three flat, rectangular 10-packs of mini chocolate bars I had packed for the trip. She then turned and gave the two agents the most hilarious look of exasperation I have ever seen.)

Supervisor: “You’re good.”

Me: *Half-confused, half-laughing* “Was…was that my candy?”

Supervisor: *shakes her head, sighs, and gives me back my backpack*

(I noticed someone undercover in plain clothes follow me to my gate and watch me take a seat before leaving, I guess to make sure I wasn’t planning any evil with my chocolate bars!)