Unfiltered Story #66960

Belfast UK | Unfiltered | October 1, 2015

The customer is a well mannered gentleman with a job as director of a government agency.

Me: I’m afraid I’ll need you to call into one of our stores with ID, like a passport.

Customer: Can I fax it to you?

Me: The only problem with that is I cannot see you down the telephone line.

Unfiltered Story #27873

Lexington, KY, USA | Unfiltered | October 1, 2015

Me: So I found this book at the store, and it reminded me of [My Dog]. It’s called How To Live With A Neurotic Dog.

Friend: Huh? So you’re saying [My Dog] likes to strip naked and dance?

Me: … I said NEUROTIC, not EROTIC!

Unfiltered Story #47570

NY | Unfiltered | September 30, 2015

(I’m offering my family ice cream, but I skip asking my dad because he’s sick and ice cream will make him feel worse)

Me: (asking mom) Hey, do you want ice cream?

Mom: No thank you, I’m good.

Me: (asking sister) Do you want ice cream?

Sister: Ooh, yes please.

Me: (asking grandma) Do you want ice cream?

(My grandma is deaf)

Grandma: WHAT?


Grandma: WHAT?!

Me: *mouthing words* ICE… CREAM.

Grandma: Oh, yes please.

(I walk off to the kitchen)

Dad: Hey, what about me?

Me: You can’t have ice cream, you’re sick.

Dad: But… it’s the thought that counts.

Me: Fine. Do you want ice cream?

Dad: No, I’m good. (grins and goes back to watching TV)

Unfiltered Story #56598

Spanish Fork, UT | Unfiltered | September 30, 2015

Note: my mom is known to be a little scatterbrained on occasion.

I run into my mom at the grocery store, and we shop together for a while. She then begins to wander, claiming that she’s just following me, even though I’m walking behind her. Later, when she jabbed, she parks in a no-parking area, presumably to look for something in her car.

Me, driving by: “That’s not a parking spot!”

A few minutes later, I see a car backing up into traffic a few lanes over. I realize it’s my mom.

Me: “That’s illegal!”

Unfiltered Story #32144

Italy | Unfiltered | September 30, 2015

(When I was in 8th grade, my school offered a week-long trip from the United States to Italy and Greece. Our first full day on the tour buses, everyone gets handed out a weird sack breakfast to eat when we stop at what we were told was a rest stop. Our guide leads us into a building that has a lot of chairs and tables, not unlike our school’s cafeteria, and then disappears. Suddenly, a large angry man begins shouting at our teachers.)

Angry Man: *mostly shouting in Italian* NO! YOU GO! NO NO NO!

(Our guide came running back in, and after a quieter conversation, told us we all needed to get back on the buses immediately and eat there. Turns out, we had been lead into a closed restaurant; the owner had just arrived and forgot to lock the door behind him. The whole rest of the tour was plagued with bad scheduling and logistics: the company expected restaurants to be able to seat all hundred of us without any warning, and for four buses of students, teachers, and parents to be able to all use the same pair of one-seater gas station bathrooms in 10 minutes. Explains why the whole thing was so “affordable”!)

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