Unfiltered Story #27962

Muskegon, MI | Unfiltered | December 29, 2015

(Note I am female to male transgender and havent had any surgeries or started testosteron.) My best friend and I were walking into popular grocery store when an older lady stops me.

Lady: Excuse me sir?

Me: (Keeps walking not realizing she’s talking to me)

Lady: Sir!?

Me: (Looks back at her and turn around while my best friend is still on my back)

Lady: Could you help me get this walker out of my trunk? You must be strong if you can carry that young lady

Me: (has a huge smile on my face) “sure!” (walks to her trunk. My best friend no longer on my back)

(we continue to have small talk, she asks my name all while i take the walker out)

Lady: (after i get it out) God bless you. Thank you so much. Merry Christmas!

Me and my best friend: Merry Christmas!

(this made my whole day better. Usually people misgender me)

Unfiltered Story #47660

Maryland, USA | Unfiltered | December 29, 2015

(My sister brought home a toy for our dogs; a stuffed elephant that when squeezed, is supposed to sound like an elephant. Instead, it just sounds like a dying animal. Both dogs dislike it, especially our puppy who begins to whimper and shake whenever the sound goes off, so we put it aside in order to return it later. My dad has just gotten home from work.)

Dad: *upon finding the toy* I bet the dogs will like this, have you given it to them yet?

Me: Don’t squeeze it. The sound scares the dogs and makes the puppy freak out.

Dad: Really? That’s weird.

(He then proceeds to squeeze it, and predictably, the puppy starts to cry and shake, before running off into the other room where my mom is.)

Mom: She told you not to squeeze it! Look what you did!

Dad: I was just trying to see if she was being serious or not!

Unfiltered Story #56685

London, UK | Unfiltered | December 29, 2015

(It’s Friday. I’ve been working very long hours for the past two weeks and was in till 330am the night before. I have become determined not to let the long hours get me down. As we get to the end of the day, my office mate starts packing things up)

Office mate: So, how long d’you think you’ll be here today?

Me: I dunno, I’ve still got a lot to do. I think I’ll be out earlier than I was last night though.

Office mate: … You mean before 330am?

Me: Yeah. So that’s pretty good. That’s my aim, in fact.

Office mate: That is the most clutching at straws thing I have ever heard anyone say.

Me: Hey, I take what I can get!

(I was out at half midnight … and back in at 10am on the Saturday morning. Could have been worse)

Unfiltered Story #32232

Canada | Unfiltered | December 28, 2015

*My best friend, her boyfriend and I are waiting for class to start, and since we have a fair bit of time, we’re getting antsy. My friend sits down and her boyfriend sits on her lap. She tries to get him off by slapping his back over and over again until she gets out a rhythmic beat, and her boyfriend in response is making vibrating noises. I’m watching in shock as an idea comes to mind. As they continue, I start rapping*

Me: fire up the loud! Another round of shots!

*my friends stop and turn to look at me, then*

All 3 of us: TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!

*the three of us spent the rest of the time remaking the song*

Unfiltered Story #67048

Pennsylvania | Unfiltered | December 28, 2015

(I work in the seasonal department of a well-known department store. I’m just about to start closing the register down for the night and it’s already past closing time. A man walks in who is obviously intoxicated.)

Me; Sir, I apologize. We are closed for the night. If there is something I can get for you, I can help you quick, but I’ll have to limit your browsing.

Customer: F*** you, b****! I done need the bathroom. A mans got to do his business.

Me: I apologize again, Sir, but we have no public restrooms in this store. Now, I’m going to have to ask you to please leave. I won’t tolerate your language directed to me.

Customer: But I have to go! Now!

(This man proceeds to stagger over to one of our faux Christmas tree displays.)

Screw it! Don’t say I didn’t warn ya!

(The customer pulls down his pants zipper and urinates on one of our trees and on our carpet. Not only is he acting completely inappropriate, he is also singing “Jingle Bells” very loudly. I have our security on the phone and shortly, two security officers are attempting to escort the customer of the sale floor.)

Customer: I warned the lady at the desk that I had to go! This is her fault! I’ll sue and take all of your jobs!

Me: Good luck with that, Sir.

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