Our store has an on-call policy where you call in at your scheduled time and see if they need you. I have been on call many times, and I always call in on time. However, I recently got a second job two days a week and changed my availability to only work morning shifts those days to reflect this. I made sure the managers were aware of why I was changing my availability when it happened.

One day, I’m looking over the new schedule and see I’m on call on one of my short days. My call-in time is ten am, and I’m only available until 12:30. I decide to call in early, around eight, so that if they do need me, I can actually go in. I tell my coworkers in my department that I will be calling in early that day. I even talk to an assistant manager about calling in early because of my availability that day, and she assures me it will be fine.

I call work at eight. No answer. I immediately call back. No answer. I wait a couple of minutes and call back. It is now 8:15, and finally someone answers. I’m told that I have to call back at ten, despite my saying on the phone that I’m only available to work until 12:30, which is why I called in early. I decide to watch TV until ten, and I leave my phone in my room.

Right before I’m about to call in, I get a call from work. Apparently, they tried to call me at 8:30 to tell me to come in. I tell them that I can come in, but I can’t stay past 12:30, because of my second job, so I would really only be there for about an hour, maybe an hour and a half.

I got the morning off.

I work for a pretty well-known, somewhat expensive athletic wear store. However, the location I work at is an outlet store, so the price is a lot cheaper for our clothes. A customer came in yesterday, and despite corporate policy, we held several items, all of which were clearance, for her because she was so polite.

Customer: *At the register* “Oh, I remember you. You helped me the other day. I told you I’d come back. Oh, and don’t forget my 10% discount.”

We give three 10% discounts. One is to military and civil service personnel and the second corresponds to a coupon book offered by the mall. We must actually verify these discounts by either checking ID or making sure they do in fact have the “VIP coupon book”. The third discount is tricky; it’s our “team discount”. You have to get at least ten of the same item in all different sizes, AND you must prove it’s for a team. Normally, the team manager calls and talks to our store manager, or even corporate at times, to verify for this particular discount.

Me: “Oh, sure. Are you military?”

Customer: “No, I am not, but I get 10% off.”

Me: “Well, I’d certainly love to give you your discount. Do you have your VIP coupon book with you?”

Customer: “Why would I have that? Just give me the 10% off. I come here almost every month and they always give me a discount for buying so much.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I’ve never seen you in the past two years I’ve worked here and—” *Jokingly* “—you really don’t have all that much here.”

She only has eighteen items, and since they are clearance, the total is a little over $250; really this isn’t all that much by our standards.

Customer: “No! You’re giving me a discount or I’m not buying it.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, they do check the cameras every now and then, and if I’m seen giving you a discount without checking to make sure you are owed it, I could get fired. Since I’d rather not lose my job, I’m sorry, but I can’t give you a discount.”

Customer: “But the managers do it all the time.”

Me: “Oh, really? Which ones?”

Customer: “Your store manager!”

Me: “Let me go grab her real quick, then, but I can tell you, she’s going to say the exact same thing that I’ve said.”

She ignores my offer to grab a manager.

Customer: “Come on. What will it take for you to give me a discount?”

Me: “Well, if you’re an AAA member, I can hold your items while you go get the coupon book, which would be free to you, so you can get the discount. However, if you don’t want to do that, we’re having a promotion for the month of October through the mall and I’ll give you 25% off one item since I have that book that someone left.”

I go ahead and do that discount on her highest-priced item, which was marked $24.97 on clearance. This item was originally $40.

Customer: “That’s not the same, and it won’t save me much.”

Me: “You’re right, but the way I figure it, a little savings is better than nothing. Plus, I did it on your most expensive item: this $25 tank top. that way you got the most savings from it.”

The customer blows up.

Customer: “THIS ISN’T $25; IT’S $15! I GRABBED IT FROM THE CLEARANCE RACK SO YOU MUST HAVE RUNG IT UP WRONG ON PURPOSE!”

I show her on the tag where it says $24.97 and somehow, at this point, I’m still keeping my cool.

Me: “Unfortunately, it is that price. Did you want me to take it off this transaction?”

Customer: “OF COURSE I DO!”

She picks up the tank top and throws it at me.

Customer: “Now, which item will you do the 25% off of now? Or will you finally give me the 10% like you should?”

Me: “None of them. I merely did it out of courtesy. Technically, I could still have gotten in trouble for discounting that item as it wasn’t your coupon book.”

She is now realizing I’m not falling for her pleas.

Customer: “Well, fine! I don’t want it.”

She shoves it all away from her, knocking several items off the counter.

Me: “All right, then. Have a great day and I hope to see you again soon.”

I say this to a lot of customers; it’s just a habit of mine. The customer whirls around.

Customer: “WHAT’S. YOUR. NAME?!”

I write down my name, my boss’s name, and my store number.

Me: “Here’s all the information you’ll need. Now please leave my store.”

Coworker: *Turns to me* “How’d you handle that without blowing up at the customer?”

Me: “Too many years of working retail and dealing with idiots.”

I went and told my store manager what happened; she just laughed and said, “I hope she does report you. I think it’d make the district manager laugh, too.”

Related:
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 13
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 12
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 11
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 10
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 8

Recently, the highway near us has changed so that if you don’t get off at the right exit, you’ll end up in Maryland, and it’s very hard to go back. I have accidentally done this on my way to work. A guest comes in looking very harried.

Guest: “Phew! I finally made it!”

Me: “Hello, how are you?”

Guest: “What is up with that highway?! I asked for directions earlier, and they didn’t tell me that it would be like that!“

Me: “Oh? Are you talking about… Wait, did you end up in Maryland?”

Guest: “Yes!”

Me: *Chuckling* “Yes, that happened to me, too.”

Guest: “It is not funny! How dare you laugh?! You Virginians are so rude! Giving people directions and not telling them about the crazy highways around here!”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to offend—”

Guest: “Well, you did!”

Me: “—but, anyway, I wasn’t the one who gave you directions.”

The guest started a rant about how I was supposed to be a representative of the hotel and, therefore, take responsibility for someone else’s directions, and then I finally was able to give him his room keys. The next day, I saw him looking a lot calmer; I guess a good night’s sleep works wonders!

Related:
Whatever Direction You’re Coming From, This Went South

The way our store is set up, the self-checkout lanes are closest to the door, then you have registers one through eleven, then a space for random displays, and then the aisles near the pharmacy that are for health and beauty products. Usually, only registers one through seven are open any given day, with the rest closed off unless we are super busy.

I am busy restocking one of the displays by register eleven. People often assume I’m a cashier when I work in this area and yell at me when I tell them otherwise, because apparently, any employee within fifty feet of a register is automatically a cashier, so I tense up when I see a young woman approach me. Thankfully, she walks past me. I don’t think much of it, since customers often use the space between the displays and the register as a cut-through to the pharmacy.

Customer: “Your self-checkout machine isn’t working!”

I look up and she is trying to scan her items at the register.

Me: “That’s not self-checkout.”

Customer: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “No, it’s not. That’s not even an open register.”

Customer: “I thought this store had self-checkout.”

Me: “We do. Down there, by the doors.”

I point to the giant signs that say “self-checkout” above each self-checkout register.

Customer: “I have to walk way down there?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Just check me out here.”

Me: “I can’t. There’s no till in the drawer.”

Customer: “I’ll use my card.”

Me: “No, I can’t check you out on this register. Registers one, two, three, five, and six look open right now, and self-checkout is just past register one. Any of the cashiers at those registers will be happy to check you out, but I cannot check you out at this register.”

Customer: “Well, you don’t have to be so rude about it.” *Huffs off*

The store I work at is open twenty-four-seven, but people don’t tend to start coming in until about nine am. It’s seven am, and I arrive for my shift. I’m not even inside the building yet when this guy comes up to me.

Customer: “Would you look at that?”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “That!”

He points out into the parking lot. There is a long truck, possibly a car-carrier-type truck or something similar, parked across five or six parking spots. However, since it is seven am and most of the other businesses we share the parking lot with aren’t open yet, the lot is fairly empty. The only other cars I see belong to the overnight staff and the manager who came in at six am, all of whom parked far away from the door, and two cars parked close to the door. I assume one of the two cars is his.

Me: “Oh.”

Customer: “It was nice of him to take up all those parking spots, right?”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “I mean, it’s not like people are going to want to park there, right?”

Me: *Thinking* “It is way too early for this.”

Me: *Speaking* “At this hour?”

The customer continues his passive-aggressive rant about the truck. I did not sleep well last night, so I am way too tired to fully explain why anyone can park there. I slowly walk away from him until I’m able to get inside the building. The manager is at the desk when I walk by to clock in.

Manager: “Running a little late?”

Me: “No. Some idiot wanted to complain about a truck in the parking lot taking up a lot of spaces.”

Manager: “Has he never seen one of the fire trucks that parks here all the time? We don’t even own the parking lot.”

Me: “I know.”

I glanced up and saw the customer heading towards the desk. I headed to the back to put my stuff away, and my manager had to explain that we don’t own the lot, anyone can park there, and we don’t care that he took up all those spots when there’s almost no one in the store.

Related:
Absolutely Trucking Mad, Part 2
Absolutely Trucking Mad