We are short-staffed due to a coworker choosing not to show up at all for the past several days, so my coworker and I are considerably backed up. We are informing all walk-in customers of an up-to-thirty-minute wait time.

A woman walks in while we are in the midst of this. We inform her of the wait time, and she agrees and places her order. As soon as it’s paid for, she walks to the counter where food is to be assembled and picked up and immediately sprawls all the way across it. When I try to get her to move, she just moves a few inches aside, ignoring the fact that another customer literally has to reach around her and get his food.

One of our other waiting customers, an older woman, likely already irritated by the long wait, speaks up.

Older Woman Customer: “Miss, could you back away from the counter? We’re all supposed to be staying six feet apart and you’re getting too close to everyone picking up.”

Without even looking up from her phone, the first customer answers:

Customer: “No, I think I’m fine right here.”

Seeing as she’s STILL taking up the entire counter and isn’t even wearing a mask — meaning she’s pretty much breathing all over everyone else’s food — I speak up, as well.

Me: “Actually, no, ma’am, you’re not fine right there. I need you to back up furth—”

Customer: “I said I’m fine right here. I’m not breathing on nothing; this b**** needs to mind her business.”

The woman who chimed in starts arguing with her, insisting that Miss Sprawl-Across-the-Counter back up and that she doesn’t want anyone that close to her or anyone else’s food, while the younger woman continues to just stay put and complains that she shouldn’t have to. Other customers are beginning to come to the older lady’s defence. In an effort to diffuse the situation, I finally tell the older lady:

Me: “I’ll just put y’all’s food over here, then.”

I indicate the rack several feet over meant for web orders.

As soon as I say that, the woman decides she wants her money back because she feels insulted.

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to move for this b****!”

I don’t think I’ve ever been so quick to refund someone. Once I hand her the money back, she hangs for just a moment longer before quipping:

Customer: “Uh. You didn’t say, ‘Thank you.'”

Me: “No, ma’am, I didn’t.”

I went back to serving our thoroughly-entertained remaining customers, ignoring Miss Sprawl-Across-the-Counter as she stormed out.

Related:
Sub-Standard Behavior, Part 2
Sub-Standard Behavior

I’m taking classes at the local university and I go to get my parking sticker. An employee who looks to be the age of a student is running the counter. She asks for my driver’s license, takes it, takes payment, scans the license, and walks to the back room while the sticker is printing out. After a few minutes, she comes back out and sees me.

Employee: “You can leave now.”

She returns to the back room before I can ask for my driver’s license or parking sticker. I wait until she comes back out. I quickly open my mouth but I’m not quick enough.

Employee: *Scowling* “You can leave now.”

She instantly returns to the back room, and I’m left with my mouth still open. I wait, she comes back out, and I wave to let her know I need to speak to her and open my mouth. She looks mad as h***.

Employee: “YOU CAN LEAVE NOW!”

She returns to the back room.

Me: *Shouting* “CAN I GET MY DRIVER’S LICENSE AND PARKING STICKER SO I CAN LEAVE NOW?! PLEASE?!”

She comes back out looking ready to kill. She finds the sticker and my driver’s license, returns to the counter, and slaps those down in front of me

Employee: “HERE!”

I finally left.

With most major airlines, once you purchase a ticket, the time and date of your flight are set, and if you’d like to change that, you have to pay a change fee. That’s standard practice at my airline, but we do have a same-day flight change option that is about half the regular change fee. If your flight has been delayed or canceled, it can be changed for free, but all voluntary changes must be charged.

A man comes up to the ticket counter demanding I change him to an earlier flight. This happens all the time, so I go into the system, find his flights, and find out he’s eligible for the same-day change.

Me: “Good news, sir: I can change you to the earlier flights. That will get you to your destination about two hours earlier. It’ll be $75.”

Customer: *Explodes* “$75?! Are you kidding me? You have the seats available; you should change my flights for free!”

This response is also super frequent, so it’s not particularly distressing.

Me: “Our normal change fee is $200 plus any price fare difference, but this is a special rate you get if you are changing your ticket on the same day. I’m sorry if it’s too much. I totally understand, but I cannot make voluntary changes without the charge.”

Customer: “Look, I am going for a very special event and I got off work early. I’m not going to pay to change my ticket, but you are going to change it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I understand your frustrations, but I cannot change your ticket without the payment.”

Customer: “But it’s supposed to storm today. If I wait, my flight might get delayed. I have to be there in time.”

I totally understand, but I still can’t change the flight if it’s not yet delayed.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. If you don’t want to pay the change fee, I can’t change it.”

The man went off about how I was taking it upon myself to make an arbitrary decision to not please the customer, etc. It was really nothing I hadn’t heard on a regular basis. After a few minutes, and myriad more apologies, he left the counter to go sit on a nearby couch instead of going through security.

Uh-oh. That always means there’s an act two.

Sure enough, he watched the flight he wanted to be switched to go without him, and he was simmering.

Then, the worst happened. His flight was delayed. 

It was only for ten minutes, but that didn’t matter. He was back in line at my ticket counter, yelling about how he was going to miss his connection, and I had done it personally. To. Him.

It got to the point where I had to call a supervisor who, thankfully, backed me up, and informed the man that his connection was safe and if he continued yelling, he’d be escorted out by security. 

He lowered his voice but continued to make a scene until they started announcing that the boarding of his flight was nearing completion. Then, he bolted off to try to get through TSA and make it on his flight.

He ended up missing it and had to be rebooked on standby for the flight after.

Sad, but he was still not my worst passenger.

Our library has been closed for health reasons for quite a while now. We are, however, offering curbside services. A gentleman ducks UNDER the barriers preventing people from entering the library and approaches the front desk.

Patron: “Hi, I’d like to check out these books.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, we’re closed to the public! You have to go back outside. There are barriers, you know.”

Patron: “Well, they’re not very good. I was able to go right under them.”

Me: “Still. We are closed. You’ll have to go back outside.”

Patron: “But I made it in! Your barriers aren’t good at all!”

Not sure what he was expecting? Barbed wire? Did he think it was a challenge?

One company that I contract with has an app that must be used for scheduling. The downside to this is that when the app is used to call the customer, they now have your cell phone number.

I can’t use an office phone, so I got a prepaid “burner” phone with no ties to me or my name, even with a different area code from where I live.

The phone doesn’t ring; it’s only used for outbound calls and the ringer is on vibrate. 

Tonight, I was sitting at my desk doing paperwork and the phone started to vibe. Odd.

I answered it and a woman announced that she was calling to save me money on my car insurance. Uh-huh.

I lowered my voice — and I’ve already got a deep voice — and said, “You’ve called a drug dealer’s burner phone. Do you really want to do this?”

She hung up. I must remember that one!