Pulling The Key Is The… Uh… Key

, , , , | Right | May 16, 2020

I’m the manager of a car rental agency in the downtown/financial district area of Boston. I am transferred to a call from a customer in apparent distress.

The customer yells at me that he cannot get his key out of the ignition of the Kia that he’s renting and I’m personally making him late because I’m an evil, masochistic SOB.

After listening to this for half a minute, I begin with: 

Me: “Sir, have you considered pulling the key harder?”

There is silence.

Caller: “Uh… no.”

There is an audible pop, followed by more silence.

Me: “Sir?”

Caller: “Bye.” *Click*

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PIN-Headed, Part 9

, , , | Right | May 5, 2020

Customer: “I’d like to change the credit card that this rental is charged to.”

Me: “Okay, let me change it for you.”

She hands me the card, and there is clearly a male’s name on the card.

Me: “I’m sorry, but unless [Cardholder] is with you, I can’t use this card.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because it isn’t yours and I don’t have permission from the cardholder to charge this card.”

Customer: “That’s why in Alberta we use PINs!”

Me: “We use PINs in Nova Scotia, as well, but you still can’t use someone else’s credit card. PINs aren’t set up so you can give them to someone else.”

Customer: “Why else would they be useful?”

PIN-Headed, Part 8
PIN-Headed, Part 7
PIN-Headed, Part 6

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The Situation Has Gone A Bit Awooooo

, , | Right | March 24, 2020

(I work at a car rental shop where we have our own garage for small repairs with mechanics who are offered jumpsuits to protect their clothes. We also have a policy of no animals in the cars and no smoking.)

Customer: “Hi. I just checked out my car and it smells a bit like smoke; can I get a new one?”

Me: “Yes, of course! I’m very sorry for the inconvenience this has caused you.”

(The customer leaves with no other problems and returns the car on time with no complaints.)

Me: “If you could just wait right here, I’ll go check out the car to make sure everything’s in order. It won’t be too long.” 

(I find a large amount of dog hair in the back. After talking with another employee, we agree the guy broke the contract.) 

Me: “Sorry, sir, there seems to be a slight problem with the car.”

Customer: “What?! I did nothing wrong! I am a good customer; you should be honoured to have me!”

Me: “Sir, there is a large amount of dog hair in the back of the car. You signed a contract before leaving agreeing to no animals in the car.”

Customer: “How do you know it was me? It could have been one of your employees! Stupid kids, always pinning the blame on someone else!” 

(Right then, a mechanic comes around the back after hearing half of the conversation.)

Mechanic: “Hey, just finished cleaning another car.”

Me: “As you can see, sir, all of our employees are required to wear these suits when cleaning and keys are locked away at the end of the day to ensure safekeeping.” 

Mechanic: “And from breaking contract, you will have to pay to have the car cleaned.”

Customer: “This is all some Commie scam! You just want to get the hard-working guys like me! We get no break! When else are we supposed to drop off our pets to the kennels?! This is horrible! Here! Take the d*** money. I’m never coming back here!”

(He promptly tosses €100 at us to cover for cleaning and storms out.)

Me: “Doesn’t it only cost €20 to clean the cars?”

Mechanic: “Looks like you just got a bonus.”

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Getting Some Time Traveler’s Insurance

, , , , | Working | March 8, 2020

(I have been having issues with my car and am using a rental. I’ve extended the time once and am trying to do so again. No one from the location is answering the phone, so I unwillingly choose to talk to someone in the call center. I am talking to someone from the rental extension department.)

Me: “And is it possible to change the insurance option I chose? I need to save some money.”

Employee: “You would have to talk to the location when you drop off the car.”

Me: “I can change the insurance retroactively? That doesn’t make sense.”

(This repeats once or twice more.)

Me: “Is there an email I can send? I called the location four times in an hour and no one has picked up.”

Employee: “We don’t have an email. You will have to keep calling or talk to them when you return the rental.”

Me: “Can you explain to me how that works to retroactively change the insurance?”

(She suddenly stopped answering and the line went mute. I said, “Hello?” several times and got no response. I hung up and called back. Finally, someone from the location answered! He said I would have to drive there and start a new contract to change the insurance. I went there and signed a new contract. I knew there was no way that lady could be right.)

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Drove Through That Loophole

, , , , , | Working | January 20, 2020

Me: “I’d like to rent a truck for four days, but the website will only let me book it for one day.”

Agent: “That’s because it’s a busy time, so we limit all the in-town rentals to 24 hours.”

Me: “There’s no way to get extra days?”

Agent: “Only if you were taking the truck on a one-way trip.”

Me: “Okay, in that case, I will pick it up in [My City] and return it to [City one hour away].”

Agent: “No problem! There we go… four days booked, and your total is [amount].”

Me: “Thanks.”

Agent: “By the way, there’s a 50% discount on a one-way rental if you return the truck to the same city you picked it up in.”

Me: “Ooookay, then, I… will return it to… [My City]?”

Agent: “All right, I’ve changed that, and your new total is [half amount]!”

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