The Unbelievable Freaking Audacity Of Some People

My two children — a son and a daughter — and I go to the pub one evening just after New Year’s. After we sit down, a waiter comes to take our orders. My children are twenty-two and nineteen, old enough to drink in Britain.

Daughter: “I’ll have an [Alcoholic Drink].”

Waiter: “I’m afraid that I can’t do that.”

Daughter: “I’m nineteen; here’s my ID.”

Waiter: *Looking at me* “Is she pregnant?”

My daughter looks embarrassed, especially since she is trying her best to lose weight at this time.

Me: “No.”

The waiter speaks to my daughter in a tone that suggests that he doubts that she is telling the truth.

Waiter: “Are you sure about that?”

Daughter: “N-No, I’m not pregnant.”

Waiter: “You might be pregnant and you simply don’t know it. I’m sorry but I cannot in good conscience serve any alcohol to this table.”

Me: “Listen, mate, my daughter is not pregnant. She’s just a little fat.”

Waiter: “It’s not her weight, sir. It’s the fact that she’s old enough to be pregnant.”

Son: “Did you suddenly decide not to serve alcohol to women?”

Waiter: “No, only women of childbearing age.”

Me: “This is ridiculous. Get me your manager.”

Waiter: “But she might be pregnant and not know. Some women don’t know until they’re about to give birth.”

Me: “Look, mate, I can assure you that she is not pregnant! She has been living at home with us since lockdown began! This is our first trip out since March! She’s been having regular periods and is trying to lose weight.”

Waiter: “She’s been in lockdown, so what?”

Son: “Since March. That’s nine months, dumba**. She hasn’t had any physical contact with any other men. Just me and our mum.”

Waiter: “That doesn’t rule out anything.”

I am at boiling point, but I choose to try and remain calm. My son is also visibly angry and my daughter is close to tears.

Me: “Manager. Now.”

The manager came out to question the waiter, who had started to turn red. The manager then had all of the drinks that the waiter had served that night taken back. None of the drinks served to tables with young women present had alcohol, just substitutions. The waiter was reprimanded for his behaviour.