I am a teaching assistant in an elementary school. My name is extremely uncommon and also happens to be spelled almost exactly like a popular cookie brand. I’m used to people joking about it and don’t really mind.

A few days before classes start, all the faculty meet at the school for orientation, and afterward, I spend a few hours helping my partner teacher set up the classroom.

Teacher: “So, how do you pronounce your name?”

Me: “[My Name].”

Teacher: “Okay, gotcha. Good thing you have a name tag!”

Me: “Yeah, I feel like many of the younger kids will have trouble pronouncing it, but it’s fine.”

On the first day of school…

Teacher: “Welcome, class! My name is Mrs. [Teacher], and this is Ms. [Cookie Brand].”

Me: “Actually, it’s Ms. [My Name].”

Teacher: “Whoops! Sorry about that.”

Day two…

Teacher: “Ms. [Cookie Brand], can you please collect these papers?”

Me: “Sure. But it’s Ms. [My Name].”

Teacher: “Right! Sorry, sorry. I’ll remember that.”

Day three…

Teacher: “It’s time to line up for recess! Please form a neat line behind Ms. [Cookie Brand].”

Students: “It’s Ms. [My Name]!”

Teacher: “Oh, no. I got it wrong again, didn’t I?”

I thought it was pretty hilarious, but the teacher honestly felt bad that she kept messing up my name. The next week, she brought me a bag of those cookies, but she had covered the brand name with masking tape and written the correct spelling of my name in all caps. Most people who mess up my name just keep saying it incorrectly, but she made a huge effort to use the correct pronunciation after that.

It is the day after the Boston bombing suspect was arrested. Every business in Boston was shut down for a whole day the day before and the police and state officials even asked us not to go out for any reason in case the suspect was armed and in the vicinity.

I work in a bakery and I am looking through the cake order forms.

Me: “There’s a cake order for today?”

Manager: “Oh, I’ll check with the pastry chef if we have that today.”

He checks and of course, we don’t have it since we make cakes the day before.

Manager: “Okay, I’ll call the people who ordered it. They should understand since we had that emergency yesterday.”

Soon after, he calls the people who ordered it and offers them any cake in the bakery. I can hear him getting frustrated and hanging up in a very upset way.

Manager: “They weren’t happy about it at all.”

Sure enough, when the customers come in, I hear them yelling at him.

Customer: “Why couldn’t you have called us yesterday? It’s their son’s first birthday and we’ve been telling them how great your cakes are but we have to settle for this?!”

Manager: “Look, your friend should understand we had an emergency yesterday; did you want me to risk my life just for you?”

A customer wants to purchase nine cans of baby formula with her WIC card. At the beginning of the transaction, the register will print a slip with all the customer’s available WIC benefits. I usually glance at the slip to make sure everything is all right but the customer doesn’t have any cans of formula in her WIC benefits.

Me: “Ma’am, you don’t appear to have any available formula on your WIC card.”

I show her the slip and read off all her available WIC benefits.

Customer: “Can you run the card again? I know I have formula. I’ve been getting formula for months.”

Me: “The card will still have the same benefits as it says here. If you’re supposed to have formula on your WIC card, you need to call the WIC office and let them know there has been an error with your card.”

The customer stares at me for a few seconds.

Customer: “Can you just run the card again?”

I close the transaction so she can run her card again and, unsurprisingly, the card hasn’t suddenly gotten formula added onto it.

Me: “You need to call the WIC office if you’re supposed to have formula on your benefits, because it’s not on here.”

Customer: “Fine. I’m not taking them. Can you charge me for these waters?”

I ring up four gallon jugs of water while she calls someone.

Customer: “The WIC isn’t working… I don’t know. It isn’t working… I don’t know. It isn’t working… I don’t know.”

The customer repeated this while I finished her transaction, and then she left, still repeating herself to whoever she was talking to.

Me: “The parking charge is—”

Guest: “What?! Can’t you waive that for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

Guest: “Why?! Not?!“

Me: “Because it wouldn’t be fair to the guests who have already paid.”

Guest: “That’s so stupid!”

I get this all the time.

The shoe department where I work has a stockroom which doubles as our break room. There is another employee working with me, so I decide to take my fifteen-minute break and check my text messages. A customer barges into our stockroom, where customers aren’t allowed.

Customer: “Excuse me! Can you help me?!”

Me: “There’s another girl out on the floor who will assist you. If you didn’t see her, she’s just getting a shoe for another customer and will be out in a second.”

Customer: “Can you help me?”

Me: “Sure! How may I help you?”

I go to the sales floor to see what shoes she wants. After getting them, I help her put on each pair.

Customer: “Won’t you get in trouble for being on your phone?”

I assumed she knew I wasn’t on the clock, because I was sitting in the back.

Me: “Oh, no, it’s okay.”

Customer: “Um, no! It’s not okay, honey! You’re not getting paid to be on your phone!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I was on my break; that’s why I was in the back where you found me.”

The customer is now visibly blushing.

Customer: “Oh! Then go back to your break!”

Me: “Thank you, but it’s already over by now. It’s all right, though.”

As I left to throw some of the tissue paper away, she sped off as fast as she could.