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We Don’t Like The Tones Of This Caller

, , , , | Right | July 20, 2021

I work in a call center where we take payments over the phone. I have verified all account information with this caller.

Me: “How can I assist you today?”

Customer: “I’d like to make a payment.”

Me: “Okay, are we using a card on file or a new card?”

Customer: “New card.”

Me: “Okay, go ahead with your card number whenever you are ready.”

The caller starts pushing buttons.

Me: “Ma’am, are you there?”

Customer: “Did you get the number?”

Me: “No, it sounds like buttons were being pressed.”

Customer: “Yeah, I didn’t want anyone to hear my number.”

Me: “You have to say it out loud for me to get it.”

Customer: “I don’t think it works like that.”

The Power Is Out And So Is Her Brain

, , , , | Right | July 20, 2021

The power goes out. There are still a few customers inside waiting to see if it will come back on, so we haven’t locked the doors yet.

Another lady comes in with a battery. The person we had at the door informs her that the power is out and we can’t do any transactions. 

Customer: “That’s okay. I just need my battery charged.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, our power is out.”

Customer: “It usually takes about an hour, right?”

Coworker: “Usually, yes. But our power is out.”

Customer: *Confused* “So how long will it take?”

All of us were listening at this point, and my store manager had to explain to her that we can’t charge a battery when we have no power.

Diamonds Are Forever, Just Like Entitled Customers

, , , | Right | July 20, 2021

I work in fine jewelry in a department store. All jewelry repair services are shipped out to a second business we contract with. I’m serving a woman who came in to pick up a piece that had a broken diamond replaced, at a price she agreed to before they touched it. She has been perfectly friendly, calm, and smiling.

Me: “Everything’s set, and your final total is [amount].”

She holds out her hand to swipe her card but stops and pulls it back a little.

Customer: “Can I get the broken diamond back?”

You are ALWAYS able to request any broken or removed gold or stones to be returned to you, but this needs to be asked when you send the item out. Repair places normally don’t bother sending back small amounts of gold or broken stones.

Me: “Oh, since the item has already been sent back, the repair company probably doesn’t have it anymore. I can have our clerical give them a call in the morning, just to double-check?”

Customer: “Oh, please.”

Me: “Do you want to wait and pick up your [item] tomorrow?”

Customer: “Yes, that sounds good.”

I made the necessary notes on her account, put her piece away, and passed it off as a totally normal transaction.

A week later, I came into work to the story that our clerical team had called the company and been told that yes, the customer had up until the piece was repaired to request the broken diamond back, but at this point, it had been tossed.

They called the customer to let her know, and she reportedly came into the store and proceeded to lose her s*** all over the place. Our clerical team said she was screaming like a banshee and throwing a fit to her and our manager. This also happened to be one of the days that a group of regional managers was doing an inspection of our store, so they came down to see what the ruckus was and the whole lot of them ended up spending half an hour trying to appease this woman.

She ended up getting the entire price of her diamond replacement waived, got her item returned to her, and left… for about ten minutes. She flew back in out of nowhere and started screeching all over again, and my manager was left to try and calm her for another half-hour while the clerical tried to hide from the crazy underneath the jewelry counter. She finally left again an hour before I came in.

I am so glad I missed all of that.

They Don’t Know How To Push Their Own Buttons

, , , | Right | July 20, 2021

I work at a general department store when this customer walks up to me visibly confused.

Me: “Is there something I can help you with?

Customer: “Do you sell buttons?

Me: “Like buttons for a shirt?

Customer: “No. Buttons.

Me: “Like… ones you press? Or—”

Customer: “No, like for your kitchen.

Me: “Buttons… for your kitchen?

Customer: “You know. Ones that do—”

She closes her hands and then flicks her fingers open.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m very confused. Our kitchenware is a few aisles that way, though.”

Customer: “I’ve already looked there! I need buttons for my kitchen! My oven isn’t working!

Me: “So buttons for your oven?”

Customer: “Yes! I need buttons for my oven. Can you please check if you have any?

Me: “I… I can try to look on the [Store] app?”

Customer: “Thank you.”

As I’m typing in “oven button,” her husband walks up.

Customer’s Husband: “Found it, honey!”

He is holding a light bulb.

Customer: “Thank you for looking, [My Name].”

They walk away.

Me: “What?”

Growing Your Garden Of Love

, , , , , , | Working | July 20, 2021

It’s a few minutes before four when my supervisor turns to me. 

Supervisor: “Can you cover [Coworker] in gardening for her break?”

Me: “Actually, I’m out now.”

Supervisor: “Oh! What was your shift today?”

Me: “Ten to four.”

Supervisor: “Can you stay?”

Me: “Well, my husband just got home today and I haven’t seen him all week—”

Supervisor: “GIRL, GO.”