I’m working in a grocery store. A customer is standing right next to me with his dog at the front of the store, next to the registers. I’m about to strike up a conversation about the dog when I see that it’s taking a dump right there on the floor.

As the dog is doing this, the customer is not breaking eye contact with me, as if this is perfectly normal.

I sigh, go fetch the poop scoop, and come back to clean up the mess. The customer has not moved from his spot, but the dog has moved a few feet away and is now taking yet ANOTHER dump.

Again, this jerk is just staring at me, not moving, as his dog fouls our register area. I’m just about finished with both piles of poo, and then the dog is suddenly PISSING in the corner!

The owner then pats the dog on the head and says the only words for the entirety of this interaction.

Customer: “Good boy.” 

And then off he went, as if he hadn’t just brought his dog into our grocery store to use it as a dog poop park.

I work in a hotel. We have a full-time auditor who works strictly Sunday through Thursday nights. He steadfastly refuses to work Friday and Saturday. He’s retired Air Force and makes sure everyone he meets is aware of this. He never saw combat and never was in harm’s way. He was in administration or something of that nature. I digress.

The relief auditor works audit Friday and Saturday, and he comes back on Sunday from 3:00 to 11:00. Days off are Wednesday and Thursday.

Last year, [Relief Auditor] was looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with his family who live on the opposite coast. At the last minute, [Full-Time Auditor] insisted that he needed it off and practically bullied [Relief Auditor] into working.

Well, [Relief Auditor] decided to wait until this year to have Thanksgiving with his family. Sadly, his mother passed away in May. He also learned in September that his father has stage four inoperable lung cancer.

Unbelievably, again, [Full-Time Auditor] told [Relief Auditor] last week that his kids were flying in for Thanksgiving and he needed him to cover. [Relief Auditor] told him he would not.

He is rightfully resentful over last year and told the general manager that he was not going to work this year. [General Manager] approved and told him he’d take care of it, not to worry.

When [Relief Auditor] came in for the second shift, he was apprehensive about [Full-Time Auditor]. We were surprised to see [General Manager] come in to do audit.

Apparently, [Full-Time Auditor] told [General Manager] that he wanted off Thanksgiving. [General Manager] pointed out that he had used up his paid time off and reminded him of last year. He then told [General Manager] that he would quit if he didn’t get it off. [General Manager] told him goodbye.

I’m glad our [General Manager] stands up for principles!

I work the returns desk at IKEA. A customer comes up, speaking immediately in a complaining tone.

Customer: “I ripped the building instructions for my table in half when I ripped open the box!”

Me: “Well, we have all the instructions available online as PDFs that you can—”

Customer: “No! I won’t be able to build my table with that! Get me your manager!”

I call my manager over and explain the situation.

Customer: “I want you to get me a replacement set of instructions, and I want a gift card for my inconvenience!”

Manager: “So, you still have both halves of the instruction booklet, yes?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Manager: “What’s stopping you from just putting them together?”

Customer: “How will I know which half is which?”

Manager: “If the manual tells you to put the legs on the top, then you should start again and switch halves.” 

She was not happy, but my manager conceded and printed out the online PDF for her. She did not get any gift cards!

Customer: “Get me my usual.”

Me: “I don’t know what that is, sir.”

Customer: “What? My usual! I always get my usual! Get it for me!”

Me: “What’s your usual, sir?”

Customer: “I don’t actually know.”

Me: “Okay, well, since none of us here know, either, let’s see if we can figure it out. What does it taste like?”

Customer: “It tastes like coffee!”

Me: “Sir, this is a coffee shop.”

Customer: “Exactly!”

I got him a regular latte, and he seemed happy with it. The next day, one of our managers who wasn’t in that day told us that his “usual” was a cream-based caramel frappe, with absolutely zero coffee in it.

I used to work at the front desk at a furniture store. This was a horrible job, and if I’d been thinking about it, I could have actually gotten a lovely Labor & Industries settlement when I left, but I was young enough that when I got a new job, I just left as fast as possible. It took me about a year and a half, but I finally managed to get that new job. 

Even though the furniture store was a nightmare and a half, I was also nice enough (or naive enough?) to still want to give them notice. So, I got the new job, signed all the paperwork, and asked them to give me some time so I could give my current job notice. I kind of liked the irony of the fact that I handed my resignation in on a day that was supposed to be my day off, but my manager was forcing me in to watch a demonstration of some new furniture.

This presentation was before the store was opened, so my manager thought it was fine to tell me to get up early on my day off and come in. She was willing to let me come in in whatever street clothes I wanted, but asking to be paid for it was like asking her to give me a kidney.

Anyway, I walked in and headed up to where she was waiting at the front desk.

Me: “Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?”

Manager: “Sure.”

We went back to the office, and I pulled out my letter.

Manager: “Oh, no.”

Me: “So, I got a new job. I leave in two weeks.”

Manager: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yep. [Date] is my last day.”

She gave a heavy, put-upon sigh because she wouldn’t be able to blame me for her not paying vendors anymore.

Manager: “Okay. Well, I guess if you’re leaving, you don’t have to stay for this demo, either.”

Me: “Great. See you Thursday.”

And I walked out. While I was upset at not being able to sleep in, by this point, I was awake enough that going home and back to bed was out of the question. So, I ended up swinging by my mom’s work, having lunch with her, and having a mini-celebration for breaking out of the store.

Sometimes I wonder if they’re even still in business, but I haven’t been bored enough to actually check.