(I’m in my economics class. My class is known for goofing around, but we still do our work. My teacher is sort of laid back with us, so we joke with her about things. Our teacher is giving a lecture until we start getting off topic. I can’t remember how exactly we got to this, but we are talking about death in older people. Also, the teacher has been sick and going to the doctor, and recently had surgery. One girl is talking to the teacher. Everyone can hear her, speaking in a uncaring voice.)

Girl #1: “What’s the point, if you’re going to die, anyway?”

(In a split second everyone turns to her and gasps in shock.)

Classmate #1: “What is wrong with you?!”

Classmate #2: “How can you just say that?!”

Classmate #3: “Wow, [Girl #1]!”

Classmate #4: “What the f***?!”

(The teacher is just shocked, and [Girl #1] realizes what she just said.)

Teacher: “Well, guys, if I’m not here tomorrow… You should know why.”

Girl #1: *stammering* “I mean, we all die in the end.”

Girl #2: “[Girl #1], if your average in the class suddenly goes down, you should know why.”

(The home economics teacher is known for not teaching much; instead, she talks gossip about her family. Her cooking is horrible, so I don’t mind. One morning she has just finished putting something in the oven to clean it and resumes her usual gossip. I tend to zone out and nap, since it’s first period and I’m still tired. Out of the corner of my eye, I see color and think I’m dreaming. I realize it’s a fire in the oven. I lazily raise my hand.)

Me: “Ms. [Teacher]?”

Teacher: “Hush, [My Name]. Don’t be rude while others are speaking.”

Me: *still pretty drowsy* “Okay, just thought you’d like to know the oven is on fire.”

(She screams, and I think she’s running for the extinguisher, but she takes a sharp right and hides in the closet. Everyone stands up and scrambles. I get up, grab the extinguisher, open the oven with my foot, and put the fire out.)

Me: “I probably shouldn’t have opened it like that, huh? It’s out, though.”

(My classmate runs up to me. He’s a six-foot-tall football player that flirts by being a complete a** to me.)

Classmate: “Are you high?! You’re supposed to yell, ‘Fire!’ Not casually point at it!”

Me: “You literally just screamed like a five-year-old girl, and the teacher is in the closet. I think what you meant to say is, ‘Thank you.’”

(From then on, everybody thought I was a pothead and laughed at my nonchalance about the fire. For the record, I wasn’t; I have sleep disorders, so I am always tired. The teacher wouldn’t make eye contact with me after that.)

(I am a student at an adult learning centre, which is basically high school for adults. Unlike traditional high school, this school’s attendance policy is very strict, and one of my teachers is explaining this to the class.)

Teacher: “Here at [School], you are only allowed up to three absences without notice. If you miss more than three days without prior notice, you will be automatically withdrawn from my class. If you know you will be missing a class on a test day, you need to arrange an alternate test day with me.”

Me: “What if there are extenuating circumstances where I have to miss more than three days, including test dates, but I’m unable to give you any prior notice?”

Teacher: “In what circumstance could that ever be possible?”

Me: “Well, what if I got kidnapped? Even if my abductor gives me a phone call, I don’t think I would use it on school.”

Teacher: “Oh, that won’t be a problem. I’ll probably see you on the news, and I will accept that as notice.”

(It was foolish of me to challenge her wit. Many teachers handle bratty kids just fine, so a smart-mouthed adult is probably nothing in comparison.)

(I’m hanging out with my friends during lunch break, and two of them are bantering like typical teenage boys.)

Friend #1: “Dude, why are you being so gay right now?”

Friend #2: “You’re the one being a [gay slur], not me.”

Friend #1: “No! You’re gay!”

Friend #2: “You’re gay!”

Friend #1: “Homo!”

Friend #2: “[Gay slur]!”

(At this point, they’re being so loud that a teacher has overheard them and is walking towards us.)

Teacher: “Hey, guys, I’m not here to change your political views, but do you really have to be using that word?”

Friend #1: “Yeah! He’s a [gay slur]!”

Friend #2: “No! He’s the [gay slur]!”

Teacher: “There you go again with that word! Why are you calling each other ‘[gay slur]’? Why not just call each other ‘[racial slur]’ or something?”

Friend #1: “Whoa, not cool! What if a black person walks by when you say that?”

Teacher: “Exactly. What if a gay person walks by while you two are doing that?”

Friends #1 & #2: “Oh.”

(We learned a very powerful lesson that day.)

(In my study hall class, there’s this one girl who is know for being rather disruptive.)

Girl: “Hey, Mr. Teacher, can I play this video for [Classmate]?”

Teacher: “No. Do your work, please.”

Girl: “But it’s ten seconds long and has a dog in it!”

Teacher: “So, it’s not important?”

Friend: “Did you just say dogs aren’t important?!”

Teacher: “Good point; you can play it.”