Fire In The Dungeon! Thought You Ought To Know

, , , , , | Learning | March 14, 2018

(The home economics teacher is known for not teaching much; instead, she talks gossip about her family. Her cooking is horrible, so I don’t mind. One morning she has just finished putting something in the oven to clean it and resumes her usual gossip. I tend to zone out and nap, since it’s first period and I’m still tired. Out of the corner of my eye, I see color and think I’m dreaming. I realize it’s a fire in the oven. I lazily raise my hand.)

Me: “Ms. [Teacher]?”

Teacher: “Hush, [My Name]. Don’t be rude while others are speaking.”

Me: *still pretty drowsy* “Okay, just thought you’d like to know the oven is on fire.”

(She screams, and I think she’s running for the extinguisher, but she takes a sharp right and hides in the closet. Everyone stands up and scrambles. I get up, grab the extinguisher, open the oven with my foot, and put the fire out.)

Me: “I probably shouldn’t have opened it like that, huh? It’s out, though.”

(My classmate runs up to me. He’s a six-foot-tall football player that flirts by being a complete a** to me.)

Classmate: “Are you high?! You’re supposed to yell, ‘Fire!’ Not casually point at it!”

Me: “You literally just screamed like a five-year-old girl, and the teacher is in the closet. I think what you meant to say is, ‘Thank you.’”

(From then on, everybody thought I was a pothead and laughed at my nonchalance about the fire. For the record, I wasn’t; I have sleep disorders, so I am always tired. The teacher wouldn’t make eye contact with me after that.)

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