(I work in a library.)
Patron: “Can I have [Book]?”
Me: “It’s checked out, sorry.”
Patron: “So, can I have it?”
Me: “No, it’s checked out.”
Patron: *confused stare*
Me: “Someone else got it, I’m afraid.”
Patron: “All of them?”
Me: “We only have one copy of this book.”
Patron: “So I’d like this copy, please.”
Me: “It’s checked out. Another person has it at the moment.”
Patron: “So, I can’t have it?”
(The apartment complex I live in requires us to have renter’s insurance, and to provide a copy of our insurance documents for the main office to keep on file. I get home from work one day, and there’s a message on my answering machine from the office, saying they need a copy of my renter’s insurance policy. My policy runs from December to December, so I’m thinking they must have lost it, since I took it to them the previous December. I make a copy and take it to the office the next morning.)
Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name], and I got a call you needed this.”
(I hand the employee the copy of my policy.)
Employee: *looks at it* “No, we need next year’s.”
Me: “I’m sorry, what?”
Employee: “This one is expired.”
Me: “No, it’s not. See?” *points to dates at the top* “It expires in December. We’re in September. It’s still valid for three more months.”
Employee: “Well, we need next year’s.”
Me: “I don’t have next year’s, yet. It’s only September. I won’t renew it until December. I’ll bring it to you then.”
Employee: “Other residents have brought us next year’s.”
Me: “Well, sure. If their policies are a year like mine and they renewed in, say, July, then yes, it would cover until July of next year. But mine is good through December. I don’t know what else to tell you.”
Employee: “You need to contact your insurance agent and get next year’s. We need it.”
Me: “My insurance agent will send me the renewal in November, like he has every year for the last eight years, and I will bring you the copy in December once I’ve paid it, like I have for the last eight years. I don’t know what else to tell you. You’ll get it in December. I can’t bring you something I don’t have.”
Employee: “I’ll have to contact the corporate office. You’re in violation of your lease agreement.”
Me: *as I turn to leave* “Oh, trust me; I’m not.”
(Never did hear anything from the corporate office. In December, when I renewed my policy I took a copy to the office, like I always do, every year. I did not see that employee.)
(I am meeting with the leader of a volunteer organization for my son’s school to interview for the treasurer position. As we are talking, conversation gets around to where I work, and I mention I work for [Fast Food Restaurant]. When I say this, the club president gets an annoyed look on his face.)
Club President: “You don’t work for [Fast Food Restaurant] in [Town #1], do you?”
Me: “No, I work for the one in [Town #2].”
(He looks relieved and goes on to tell me about his last visit to [Fast Food Restaurant] in [Town #1].)
Club President: “Oh, good. Those people who work there are useless. They are so stupid. I went there a few weeks ago at like two in the morning and they had their drive-thru all blocked off.”
(I used to work for this store, which is a 24-hour restaurant; however, they do have to close for about four hours every three months to have their exhaust hoods serviced. Since the hood cleaners need to have their truck close to the store and the roof access, the drive-thru is blocked off with large caution cones, and a brave employee will generally park their car at the entrance of the drive-thru to prevent someone running over the cones and entering the drive-thru, anyway. Signs are posted on the doors, the drive-thru window, and the drive-thru speaker, letting guests know about this. I am about to explain this when he continues.)
Club President: “Yeah, they had cones and a car right there so no one could get in, so I had to drive my truck over the curb.”
(I am pretty surprised at this. While he has a large truck that could easily do this, in all my years at that store I had never heard of someone seeing the cones AND a vehicle blocking the drive-thru and deciding to jump the curb, instead of trying to come inside to see what is wrong.)
Club President: “I get to the speaker and no one answers. I’m sitting there for ten minutes and no one is answering. I can’t leave because there is this truck just parked in the drive-thru, not moving, and there were a bunch of cars behind me that went over the curb when I did, so I can’t get out. I finally manage to get out, and I go to the door, and it’s locked. There is this little midget inside, and she won’t open the door for me.”
(I know the employee he’s talking about, and while dwarfism does run on one side of her family, it is considered very insulting to call a little person a midget. The club president is a VERY large man, and I could totally see a small young woman not wanting to open the door for a very angry man who is at least six times her size.)
Club President: “So I walk around to the drive-thru window, and finally the midget opens it for me, I ask her why the hell the drive-thru is blocked, and why the doors are locked. She gives me this annoyed look like I’m stupid and says, ‘Umm, because we are closed.’ I ask her if I could order now, since I am there, and she won’t even take my order! How useless is she? I’m glad you don’t work for those losers. I won’t go there ever again, if they don’t even know how to run a business!”
(He changed the subject after that, and I didn’t try to correct him. I didn’t want to cause a personality conflict when I was just trying to help my son’s school. He turned out not to be bad to work with, aside from trying to make me change my voicemail message on my personal cell phone, because it was inappropriate — it was an iconic character from a fast food chain saying I was his wing-man. The club president and his wife did a lot of wonderful things for my son’s school.)
Me: *to boss and another coworker, both with a combined 30 years at our company let alone our industry* “I drafted an FAQ for our clients in reference to this annual document. I think it will save us time in regards to requests for edits and explanations of content. It still needs some revisions, and maybe more content, but I wanted your opinions.”
Boss: “This is great. Add [additional information] and clean up a few of the more awkward wordings here and there. Also, make sure [Experienced Coworker] is able to chime in.”
Experienced Coworker: “I also agree it’s really good, but it needs some formatting and grammatical edits. Let me see it when you have all the content ready to go so I can get it corrected.”
(That request made me cautious, because I’ve seen her drafts and templates, but I complied. I got the revised document back and it was full of comma splices, uneven and unnecessary capitalization, inconsistent spacing between paragraphs and sections, and some layout changes that directly conflict with our style guide. I knew she’d never look at it again, honestly, so I just changed it all back and sent it off to our account representatives.)
Customer: “I have an extended warranty for my shredder here.”
Me: “Okay.” *I look at receipt* “Um, this is from 2006.”
Customer: “No, it’s from 2009.”
Me: “Nope, this is from 2006. See the date here, how it says, ‘09/01/06’? That means it was purchased on September 1, 2006.”
Customer: “No, the ‘09’ is the year. The year is listed first.”
Me: “No, the year is last.” *I grab a recently-printed receipt to show her* “See?”
Customer: “Then it must have changed.”
Me: “It didn’t change. But, either way, even if this was from 2009, it’s still too long ago; the extended warranty is only good for an extra year.”
Customer: “No! This shredder is warrantied for five years, so this gives me six years total! So, even if it was purchased in 2006, you can still use it! It’s good for six years!”
Me: “2006 was nine years ago. It’s 2015.”
Customer: “It doesn’t matter! It’s from 2009!”
Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but it’s not. It’s from 2006. I haven’t even actually seen these warranty pamphlets, and I’ve been working here for seven years.”
Customer: “Well, that’s weird, because it’s from 2009!”
Me: “I don’t know what else to tell you… because it’s from 2006.”
Customer: “I don’t know what else to tell you, either, because it’s from 2009! The year is listed first!”
Nearby Associate: “No, the year is always last. I’ve actually never seen the year listed first. Anywhere.”
