(I have injured my right wrist. It’s wrapped, and my arm is in a sling to avoid any further strain. Due to previous sports injuries, I have already taught myself to write with my left hand, but it’s much slower than with my right. Today, we not only have a written test in my ASL class, but a substitute administering it. I am struggling to complete the test in time.)

Classmate: *finishes and goes to turn in his test, whispers* “Mrs. [Substitute Teacher]?”

Substitute Teacher: “Yes?”

Classmate: “[My Name]—” *points at me* “—hurt her arm and can’t write well. Could we step out in the hall, so I can help her write?”

Substitute Teacher: “Absolutely not! You’re just going to cheat.”

Classmate: “Even if I wanted to, she doesn’t need my help.” *taps the gradebook on the teacher’s desk* “Check for yourself. She has the highest grade in the class.”

Substitute Teacher: *looks up to see the whole class nodding, while I blush a million shades of red* “Go sit down.”

(A few minutes pass, during which time she actually does open the gradebook. She calls us both up.)

Substitute Teacher: “Fine. You two can go out in the hall. But I WILL be checking on you, and I will leave a note for your teacher. She could fail you if she thinks this is cheating.”

Me: *knowing the teacher and her views, I’m not worried* “Thank you.”

Classmate: *takes my test paper and leads the way outside* “Question 12?”

Me: “Thanks, [Classmate]. I really appreciate this.”

Classmate: “No problem. When I was on crutches, you were always the first to help. And besides, now I don’t have to wait to find out what I got wrong. Now, number 12?”

(Thanks to him, I finished the test in plenty of time, and aced it. He had only missed one, about the history of Gallaudet University, but the teacher gave him extra credit for helping me, so it evened out.)

(We are currently taking a class on the throat and voice, and all the things that can impact them.)

Professor: “A woman’s cycle can impact her voice, as well. And if there are multiple women together for a long period of time, they can sync up.”

Male Student #1: “No. You lie. They don’t actually—”

Female Student #1: “Actually, they do.”

Female Student #2: “Regularly. Especially with choir members.”

Female Student #3: “Most of us in this class have already synced.”

All Male Students: *all turn to stare at us* “What?!”

(I am a very clumsy individual, and therefore fall down a lot. Since I fall so frequently, no one really pays attention to my trips, but I’ve had some really epic ones. I am walking down a flight of stairs, and I trip at the top. I proceed to have the slowest fall of my life. Everything is in slow motion as I roll down a flight of stairs. I reach out for the railing or people’s ankles, but everyone is just out of reach. Everyone stops and stares at me as I fall down. It isn’t until I am all the way on the ground level, laying on my back, that people realize that I wasn’t faking it.)

Random Student: “That was real?”

Me: “Yes, it was. Why would I fake falling down a flight of stairs?”

Random Student: “You just fell so slowly!”

(Hopefully, next time I fall down a flight of stairs, it’s not so slow, so I get help! I was all right, but was sore for a few days.)

(It’s the first class period, and we’re in a law enforcement class. As it is too cold to go outside and practice mock-arresting, our teacher keeps us in and we wind up talking about how cold it’s been this year.)

Me: “It’s not just here; I saw pictures of snow covering the Sphinx.”

Classmate: “Wait. Egypt still exists?”

Me: “Yes? It’s still a country in Africa.”

Classmate: “Oh, you mean with Chile and Brazil?”

Me: “No, that’s South America.”

Classmate: “Aren’t those the same thing?”

This story is part of the fourth Geography roundup!

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(My friends and I are standing in line to get our lunches when one of them challenges me to try and talk as “cool” as possible to the kid in front of me.)

Me: *to kid in front* “‘Sup, brah?”

(We are all laughing about it until one of the lunchtime staff walks up to me and asks:)

Teacher: “Why did you call [Kid] a bra?”

Me: “I didn’t. I called him ‘brah;’ it means bro or mate.”

Teacher: “No, it doesn’t.” *leans in close and whispers* “A bra is what holds up boobs.”

(My friends nearby were positively wetting themselves in laughter, and I got off with a “warning.”)