Unfiltered Story #121977

, , , | Unfiltered | September 21, 2018

(I work nights when the store is closed. Last night, shortly before I got to work a disgruntled customer drove her SUV through one of our entrances and out the other so instead of working my usual shift I’m helping clean up and make sure no one comes in. I’m sweeping up her exit point when a young man rolls up on his bicycle.)

Young Man: “Did the soda and beer aisle get hurt?”

(I figure he wants to buy something.)

Me: “No, but you can’t go down it.”

Young Man: “No, I don’t want it now because you’re closed. I just wanted to make sure I could get some tomorrow.”

Me: “We’re probably not going to open tomorrow.”

(He left looking confused and dejected. Also later that night a man drove up asked if he could take pictures of the damage and then told me his Bipolar wife was the lady who drove through the store.)

Unfiltered Story #120345

, , , | Unfiltered | September 10, 2018

(My stepfather is looking for shoe trees, which are wooden forms that help shoes keep their shape when not being worn. I am downtown with a friend and decide to look in a shop for them.)

Friend: “Doesn’t your stepfather have feet?”

So-duh

, , , , | Working | May 9, 2018

(My husband and I are ordering dinner. We know this restaurant only serves Pepsi products.)

Worker: “And what drink would you like with that meal?”

Me: “Diet Pepsi.”

Worker: “We don’t serve Coke products; is diet Pepsi okay?”

Me: “Um… Yes.”

Pestering Your Siblings

, , , , , , | Related | March 6, 2018

(My sister and I both have the day off, and we’re in the living room of our apartment. I’m in the middle of an online game when there’s a knock at the door. My sister goes to answer the door and finds a pair of pest control workers.)

Sister: “Hey, how are you?”

Worker: “We’re good. We just came by to ask if you’ve had any issues with pests lately. We were told a few of the other apartments have these issues.”

Sister: “Well, we just have maybe two or three ladybugs here, but nothing major.”

Worker: “I see.”

Sister: “Actually, come to think of it, I do have one pest issue.”

Worker: “Oh, yeah? What is it?”

Sister: “It’s this giant lump on our couch.”

Me: “Screw you, [Sister].”

(The workers did a quick look around, chuckling the whole time, and left for the next apartment.)

These Boots Were Made For Water…

, , , , , | Right | February 22, 2018

(I work at a boot store. I get a decent amount of customers that ask questions, due to the large selection that we have. I am always patient and understanding, as there are so many factors when it comes to getting the right work boot.)

Customer: “Excuse me. What is the difference between this boot and this one? They both look exactly the same.”

Me: “One is waterproof and the other isn’t.”

Customer: “Ah, that explains the price difference. Well, is there a way I can get the non-waterproof boot, but in waterproof?”

Me: “Yes. You can purchase the one that is waterproof, which is directly above it.”

Customer: “I see, but I don’t want to pay that price. I just want this boot, except to have it waterproof.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir… but this one isn’t waterproof. If you would like it waterproof, you can purchase the one above it.”

(I don’t know what else to say at this point.)

Customer: “That’s okay. I guess I’ll just keep looking around.”

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