Unfiltered Story #144545

, , , | Unfiltered | March 18, 2019

(I’m working the drive through at a popular fast food restaurant. We have a signature hamburger made with a large patty and deluxe condiments that we’ve recently become unable to put on sale for good discounts due to increased ingredient prices. It’s also offered with multiple patties. However, we also offer several smaller burgers and other sandwiches. At this time, we are offering double cheeseburgers two for $3.)

Customer: “Can we get two double (signature burgers) with cheese?”

Me: “All right, any fries or drinks with that?”

Customer: “Nah, just the burgers.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $7.88.”

Woman in car with customer: “YOUR SIGN SAYS TWO FOR THREE BUCKS!”

Me: “Those are the double cheeseburgers, ma’am.”

(The car drives away.)

Don’t Lick It Or You’ll Have Bad Breath Of The Wild

, , , , , , | Romantic | March 11, 2019

(Conversations like this are the normal thing in my household.)

Me: “Hmm… So, I am thinking about being dumb.”

Husband: “Oh?”

Me: “Because Nintendo Switch cartridges are so tiny, Nintendo has them coated in a non-toxic substance that tastes horrible to prevent them from being swallowed by little kids.”

Husband: “Oh, no.”

Me: “And Breath of the Wild is the only cartridge I have, but I’m tempted to pop it out and lick it just to see if it is true.”

Husband: *monotone* “That would be dumb, honey.”

Unfiltered Story #141661

, , , | Unfiltered | February 25, 2019

(I’m waiting in line at the cash register. The old woman in front of me puts a large number of liquid creamer tubs on the counter.)

Cashier: “… Uh… I can’t sell you those?”

Old woman: “Why not?”

Cashier: “Well, they’re not labelled for sale, and I can’t just let you take them, they’re to put in your coffee. I could sell you a cup, except we don’t typically make coffee at 7PM.”

Old woman: “Well, what do I do?”

Cashier: “We have some dry creamer over there.”

Old woman: “Oh.”

(She leaves her armful at the counter and walks out of line to the shelves. The cashier pulls the creamer tubs towards her, apparently to put back after she finishes with me and the other people in line.)

Cashier: “Come on.”

(I step forward and put my items on the counter. As she’s scanning them…)

Old woman: (from the aisle) “Is this the only one you have?”

Cashier: “Yes.”

(The old woman leaves without making a purchase. I sincerely hope that’s the weirdest customer the cashier dealt with that night…)

So Rude You Couldn’t Even Make Up

, , , | Working | January 22, 2019

(This happens on my way to work. I work in a call center where the dress code is business formal. I normally do a pair of black slacks and a cute but nice shirt. Today I am a bit extra and I am in my tan khakis and a red button-up shirt. I top it with my tan deck shoes and even wear an extra shirt to avoid a panty line showing. I stop at a convenience store for a drink before work, the same cashier that always helps me is there he smiles as I approach, and this happens.)

Cashier: “Hey! You look nice today.”

Me: “Oh, thank you. Yeah, decided to be a bit extra today.”

Cashier: *smirks at me* “So, who are you trying to impress, someone in the office?”

Me: “Pardon? Oh, no, I just wanted to look nice; that is all.”

Cashier: “Oh, well, I was about to say, you spent so much time on the outfit and hair but you didn’t apply any makeup; not going to go far.”

Me: *after handing him the drink* “Can you please ring me up? I need to get to work.”

(I don’t know if it was the tone of my voice, but the rest of the transaction was in silence.)

Seriously, Employees Need To Pee, Too

, , , , | Right | January 4, 2019

(I work at a coffee kiosk at the back of a grocery. There are bathrooms in the break room, but you’re not supposed to go there unless you’re actually on break, and they’re on the other side of the store, so when we need to use the toilet while on-shift, we use the one at the front of the store that’s shared with customers. It’s a single-person bathroom, but that’s usually not a problem because not too many customers really ever need to use it at the same time. One day, I’ve just left my counter after my coworker came back from lunch, and it’s not thirty seconds after I’ve locked the door that I hear a woman outside it.)

Woman: *tries the knob without knocking* “Ugh. Seriously?”

(I figure she can just hold on a moment, and continue to use the bathroom. Not ten seconds later…)

Woman: *louder* “Seriously?!”

(A few more seconds pass. Then, again…)

Woman:Seriously?!

(Then, she grabs the handle and starts jerking at it like she’s trying to rip the door from the frame.)

Me: *slightly panicked because I’m not really sure the lock will hold* “I’ll be just a moment, ma’am!”

(Still, the woman keeps repeating, growing louder and louder, “Seriously? Seriously?!” I finish and flush, hoping the sound will shut her up because she’ll know I’m almost out, and yet, once again…)

Woman: *practically screaming* “SERIOUSLY?!”

(I debate taking extra long washing my hands just to spite her, but I don’t want to deal with it, so I just scrub up quick. I’ve just grabbed a paper towel when I hear the lady call through the door:)

Woman: “I’m going to call 911!”

(Then, she starts speaking quieter and sounds muffled.)

Woman: “Hello, 911?”

(I yanked the door open, thinking she was actually calling them, only to have her turn towards the door, having been facing away and hunched over, talking into her palm with no phone in sight. She looked smug, then stared me up and down with clear disgust — I assume because I was in uniform and therefore just a lowly employee — then huffed, slammed the door, and shouted once more from inside, “UGH! SERIOUSLY?!” Shaking my head, I walked back to my counter and looked at the clock. I had been away from my station for all of five minutes, including walking back and forth to the front of the store. Heads up for those who apparently don’t realize: employees need to pee, too, and there’s such a thing as a shy bladder; shouting through the door is probably just making everything take longer!)

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