(I work the checkout. It’s almost nine pm when a customer comes through my till. We go through the hi-how-are-you’s and how-is-your-days. He speaks perfect English and is very obviously from Australia.)

Customer: *scans through products*

Me: “That will be $12.50.”

Customer: *hands me a ten-dollar note and looks at me expectantly*

Me: “That will be $12.50, sir.”

Customer: *blinks at me for a few seconds*

Me: *a little more slowly* “12… 50… sir.”

(He then starts looking back in his wallet; I am still holding the note in my outstretched hand. Then he grabs the ten dollars and puts it on the counter and hands me a different ten dollar note, as well as a five.)

Me: *pretending like nothing happened* “Thank you, sir.” *hands back change*

Customer: *finally catching up to what he did* “That really didn’t make much sense, did it? What can I say; it’s been a really long day.”

(At the store where I work, we are expected to greet every customer. One day I am walking by a customer who is on her cell phone. I don’t want to be rude and interrupt her call, so I smile at her, nod, and then keep going.)

Customer: *to the person on the phone* “I hate this place. They don’t help you; they just walk right by you.”

My mom prefers shopping for fresh produce at a particular small-chain grocery known for sales and low prices. I’m with her when we see a sign to buy two, get two free baskets of strawberries. We get the four baskets, finish shopping, and go to pay.

The cashier rings up the strawberries, only for it to show they are at regular price each. My mom points out the error, citing the sale. The cashier apologizes, explaining that sale was for the weekend only. My mom replies that she saw the sign, and asks if the sale is truly over.

We’re the only ones around at the moment, it being early, so the cashier goes to the produce section to check, and comes back with a sour look on her face. We hear her speaking into her walkie, asking where a particular worker is. The voice on the end says the worker is not on the premise, and she rolls her eyes. When she gets back to us, Mom asks if everything is all right.

Turns out, the particular worker whose job it was to change the weekend signs to weekday signs decided it was too hard, and also decided to take an early lunch break — it was barely nine am. The worker in question is the son of a manager, who wants their son to learn good working habits. Apparently, it isn’t sticking.

The cashier gives us the discount, anyway, not just on the strawberries but on several items. When Mom asks if there will be any trouble, she says it will just have to be the worker’s fault, because she can’t change all the signs and cashier at the same time, and the other employee is busy in the back. We thank her and head out, with over thirty dollars in savings. I don’t know what became of the lazy worker, but I hope they got their head on straight.

(We sell a fair amount of our products online on our website, as well as on sites like eBay and Amazon. We do not use stock photos; instead, we take photos of our products in our store and use those images for our online postings. Because of this, we post the following on ALL of our online listings: “Photos of actual product (no stock photos).” However, this is still a weekly occurrence.)

Customer #1: “Can you send me pictures of the actual product?”

Customer #2: “I want to see real pictures, not stock photos.”

Customer #3: “I need pictures of what you’re actually selling. Not the pictures those companies provide.”

Me: *facepalm*

(My store is closing. For the first few weeks after this is announced, all merchandise is reduced by 25%. After a period, the remaining product is reduced to 50% off. A customer comes in.)

Customer: “When did everything go 50% off? I was here last week and bought things 25% off.”

Me: “Just the other day, ma’am.”

Customer: “My stuff is still in the car. Can you do a price adjustment?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: “What if I return it and then buy it at the new price?”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, we aren’t accepting returns.”

Customer: “You can’t do anything for me?”

Me: “I’m afraid not.”

Customer: “Well, what good are you?” *leaves*