I Don’t Work Here But That Worked Out Beautifully  

, , , , | Right | January 3, 2020

(I’m shopping. I’m wearing a black shirt with a dragon breathing lightning on the front. In no way, shape, or form is this like a uniform in the big box store I’m in. I’m browsing through some shirts, which are stationed across the walkway from the registers, and it’s a quiet time. No major crowds, and as per usual for big box stores, there are only a couple registers open at this time.)

Woman: “I’m ready to be rung up now!”

(I don’t respond. I don’t work here, so I figure it’s none of my business.)

Woman: “Helloooo! I’m ready to be rung up nowww!”

(I pick up shirts and look them over.)

Woman: “Hello! Hello! Excuse me! Hello!”

(I walk around to the other side of the display. I have a cart with me, fully visible to the registers. When I go to the other side of the display, I push my cart, with my purse and a few other purchases in it, to the other side of the display. I can hear someone stomping in my direction.)

Woman: “HEY! I’m trying to get your attention! I’m ready to be rung up now!”

Me: *slowly looks up* “That’s nice. Go to any open register you like.”

Woman: “I’ve already unloaded my stuff onto the conveyor belt. I’m not moving. Get your a** over there and ring me up!”

(I stare at her. She stares right back. I break gaze, grab the bottom of my shirt and stare down at my lightning-breathing dragon on my front. I look back up, stretch my face into a huge grin, and then laugh in her face.)

Me: “Ha! That’s a good one! Have a lovely day, ma’am!”

(She looks outraged, and then stares at me a little more closely.)

Woman: “You don’t work here.”

Me: “Obviously.”

(When I looked back a short time later, all of her things were back in her cart, and she had slunk to the end of the line of an open register.)

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We’ll Just Toss It Into The Air And Hope For The Best, Then

, , , , | Right | January 3, 2020

(I am assisting a customer in locating a lip liner. The shade she wants is sold out in our store, so I offer to order it online for her to be shipped to her home.)

Customer: “Yes! Do that.”

Me: “All right, I have your shade added to your basket. What is the address you’d like it shipped to?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “No?”

Customer: “That’s invading my privacy!”

Me: “Ma’am, I need an address in order to be able to ship this to your home.”

Customer: “If you can’t do your job without invading my privacy, then I don’t want it!” *storms off*

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When You’re Off The Clock You’re Off The Hook

, , , | Right | January 3, 2020

(I work at a fairly popular retail store in the mall, known for being a hotspot of gothic clothing and alternative styles. It’s Saturday, and I usually arrive an hour early before my shift. About five minutes before my shift begins, I go out to look at the store to make note of any changes. We are super busy and my coworker, working on register, thinks I’m on the clock and asks me to find another coworker of ours to help her out. I just stand in place and call for my coworker since I technically can’t go get her. There’s an older woman at the register, muttering under her breath and generally looking irate. She then looks at me.) 

Older Woman: “This is ridiculous. Are you kidding me? Like are you serious?” 

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we are just very busy today.” 

Older Woman: *sneers* “You’re not busy! You’re just standing there like a lazy idiot instead of working!” 

(Feeling a burst of annoyance from her rude remark, I snap back.) 

Me: “Well, I’m not on the clock yet, so don’t get b****y with me!”

(She got a bit red in the face but didn’t say anything else until she paid for her items and left. I then promptly clocked in and got to work feeling fantastic. Normally, I would have calmly explained, but with the “lazy idiot” remark, I wasn’t going to let that go.)

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Unfiltered Story #181211

, , | Unfiltered | January 3, 2020

I do the exchanges at a local retail store.

A woman came inside with a pair of boots she’d purchased weeks ago. She’d ‘accidentally’ purchased a pair that was too small and asked if I did returns.

I was in the process of explaining that I could exchange the boots, but I needed the pair she brought in with her as well as the receipt.
The woman turned her back to me mid-explanation and ran to the boot isle. (With the old boots and receipt)

Minutes later the door alarms go off and I glance up to see that the woman has two large boot boxes in her hands.
She’s been pulled aside by security.

Me – “Ma’am you’ll have to wait in line with your shoes to make a return. Just stand in line here. Wait here maam”

After five minutes of standing in line she tells the three customers ahead of her, “this is the returns register and she told me to come to the front.”

She was so mad and insisted that I had cheated her. I apologized and explained that she could have either the larger size or the pair she purchased originally, but not both for the price of one

The Machines Cannot Take Money From Stupid People

, , , , | Right | January 2, 2020

(I call off work for stomach issues and go to the superstore a few blocks away from my house. I go to the self-checkout and occasionally — especially in the mornings — they have their machines as credit/debit only. That is fine by me as the only cash I carry is my gas money. I walk to the area and see a sign that says, “Debit or credit only.” The machines have a red light around the screen that says, “Card mode only.” A pop-up window also explains the machine only takes debit or credit; no cash payment will be accepted and there is no cashback available. And the final whack of that dead horse is an employee telling everyone she sees that there is only credit or debit payment allowed at self-checkout.)

Employee: “Just so you know, ma’am, these machines only take credit or debit.”

Me: “Okay, thank you.” *she goes off to continue telling people, so I whisper to myself* “Wow. This is overkill. I know people can be dumb but who could possibly miss all these—”

(As if on cue, behind me there’s a woman trying to pay for her things, and she flags down the girl employee.) 

Woman: “Why won’t this machine take my money?”

Employee: *unsurprised and unfazed by this question* “Because these machines only take credit or debit card right now, ma’am.”

Me: “Welp.”

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