You’ll Get No Sympathy (Cards) From Me

, , | Friendly | June 12, 2017

(Due to an invisible, chronic pain illness, my mind isn’t as sharp as it used to be. This means things sometimes fall out of my mouth without meaning to, especially if I can’t think of the right word. I’m in a card shop with my friend after the morning school run.)

Me: “Oh, I just remembered, I need to get a card.”

Friend: “What kind?”

Me: “Um… oh d*** it, I had it. It’s not a birthday one…”

Friend: “Anniversary?”

Me: “Ooh, that’s it. A ‘sorry you’re dead’ card.”

Friend: *bursts into laughter* “I think you’ll find they’re called sympathy cards!”

Completely Estúpido

, , , , | Right | June 12, 2017

(It is my first day working at the store. I am Mexican and have dark skin. I speak Spanish, but I don’t speak to customers in Spanish unless they have already spoken Spanish to me.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Store]—”

Customer: “Stop. No Spanish. We don’t speak Spanish.”

Me: “I was speaking English.”

Customer: “Good, no one in this family speaks Spanish!”

Me: “…”

Punched Out And Ready For A Punch Up

, , , , , | Right | June 11, 2017

(I am working as a cashier supervisor at a large store. I’ve just clocked out since my coworker has taken over to do the closing shift. A cashier stops me as I’m about to leave the store, not in any uniform and clearly dressed in my winter outdoor clothing.)

Cashier: “Hey [My Name], [Coworker] is busy. Can you override this markdown on your way out?”

Me: “No problem.”

Customer: “I’d suggest you get here a little faster next time.”

Me: “I’d suggest you don’t take that tone with me. I barely get paid enough to give a f*** about you when I am on the clock. I certainly don’t care when I’m punched out.”

(The cashier high-fived me and I smirked and walked out the door.)

That Kind Of Thinking Is Out Of Line

, , , , | Right | June 8, 2017

(I am manning a self-checkout area with eight registers, three of which are down with mechanical problems. A line is forming six or seven people deep waiting to get into self-checkout. Meanwhile, several regular registers nearby are open, some of which have one or two customers, and some which are completely empty.)

Me: *announcing to the line* “Folks, self-checkout is a little backed up right now, but there are several other registers open that may be able to check you out faster.”

Customer: *fifth in line* “But they have lines!”

Going To Give You A Mall-ing

, , , | Right | June 8, 2017

(I work in a clothing store in a large mall. My store specializes in women’s work clothes. We only have a small section of casual clothing, like jeans. We often get asked by customers where other shops in the mall are. A lady just finished trying on some clothes in our fitting room.)

Customer: “Do you have any lucky belts?”

Me: “Excuse me?” *puzzled by what she meant by lucky belts*

Customer: “Do you sell lucky belts. You know, Lucky Brand Belts?”

Me: “Oh, no, sorry. We only sell our own brand here. Sorry.”

Customer: “Do you know where I could find them? I live out of town and don’t know the mall.”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t know. Probably a store that specializes in jeans or belts, or a store that carries that brand.”

Customer: “So what store?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Customer: “WHAT? You don’t know? Why not? I don’t live here. Where can I find Lucky belts?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know. I don’t shop for that brand myself, and have no idea where you would find a specific brand like that aside from the jean stores [Store #1] and [Store #2] upstairs. But I don’t know if they would have it.”

Customer: “Why is it so hard for you to tell me where to find them? You’re useless!”

Me: “Well, we don’t carry them. My job is to know what is sold in this store, not the entire mall.”

(She went and asked another associate who gave her a similar answer before she got frustrated at our staff not knowing where another company sold their items.)

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