This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 68

, , , | Right | November 8, 2017

(I work in a farm store that also sells lawn equipment. We offer financing, and I oversee that department. One day a young man and his wife come in and express interest in financing a new zero-turn mower. I ask for identification and a secondary form of ID and get started entering the application into my computer. When I finish, I hit print so the customer can sign the paper copy, and then hit submit. By the time I return from the printer, I see that the application has been denied. I convey this to the customer.)

Customer: “What? There’s no way! I have excellent credit!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I’m not allowed to know why the application has been denied.” *I turn the computer screen to face the customer* “It only displays a denial, not the reason for the decline. The lender will send you something official in writing within a few days. This isn’t the end of the road, however; we can still accept cash or check, or you may wish to apply for a loan through your bank.”

Customer: “This is bulls***! My credit score is in the 800s and I’ve never made a late payment! All my stuff is paid off, even! Call your boss and push this through, now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; even if I did call the manager over, he has no authority to override the decision of a bank that is not connected to our store. Although you’re filling out the application here, the ultimate decision goes through a separate lender.”

Customer: “Well, get on the phone and call the lender, then. Get this straightened out! I don’t have bad credit! I don’t have bad credit! There has to be some simple reason why I was declined. You probably didn’t enter my information correctly!”

Me: *double-checking his ID against what I entered* “I keyed everything in correctly.” *shows the customer a copy, which he barely scans through* “I’d be happy to call the lender for you, however.”

(I dial the lender, go through the prompts, and get a customer service representative on the phone. I explain the situation, and although the exact reasons for the decline are between the customer and the bank, the rep hints that it’s a debt to income issue. I hang up the phone.)

Customer: *incredulously* “Well, did that settle it? I can get the mower, right?”

Me: “Sir, by any chance have you financed anything else recently?”

Customer: “Well… yeah. Let me see… I got a new truck three weeks ago to pull our new boat, we just closed on our house Friday, my wife got a new washer and dryer, and she got a different car maybe a month ago? Why? What difference does that make?”

Bad Customer Number One

, , , , , | Right | November 8, 2017

(The store I work in is being re-modeled and the closest bathrooms are downstairs.)

Customer: “Where is the bathroom?”

Me: “Downstairs. The elevators are just over there.”

Customer: “Is it far? My son really has to go.”

Me: “It’ll take you two minutes to get there.”

Customer: “I don’t think he’ll make it.”

(She walks away at this point with her son. I turn to my coworkers to figure out who is going to clean the jean wall, empty the dressing rooms, and straighten the tables. I do the jeans.)


(She really says, ”pee pee,” as it is the kids department. The woman has let her son pee on the clothes in the dressing room. I put trash bags on my hands and grab the trash can.)

Me: “I’ll pick it up. They could have peed on the cheap clothes. He peed on the Dockers.”

(That’s when I picked up the top pair and found the poo poo.)

Escalating Problems That Aren’t There

, , , , | Working | November 8, 2017

(I live in the Midwest, so tornadoes are a real threat. Our loss prevention team comes around to each department in the store to make sure we all know where the tornado shelter is, especially the new people.)

Loss Prevention: “It’s just downstairs, in women’s dresses.”

Coworker: “So, what happens if the power goes out? How would we get down the escalator?”

Me: “…like stairs.”

Exhausted All Other Excuses

, , , | Right | November 8, 2017

(We run a small shop that sells and repairs motorbikes. We sell a small motorbike to a couple for their child. They come back in after a few days.)

Customer: “It’s running hot.”

Me: “Why do you think it’s running hot?”

Customer: “The exhaust melted a hole in my daughter’s $80 riding pants.”

Me: “Did she get burnt?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “The riding pants have done their job, then. But what makes you think it’s running hot?”

Customer: “My husband touched the exhaust and burnt his hand!”

At Least They Didn’t Expect It To Be Wireless

, , , | Right | November 7, 2017

(I work at customer service in an office supplies store. I’ve been working there a couple of years and have become well-rehearsed in troubleshooting “broken” purchases.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir. What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “I bought this shredder last week, and it didn’t work when I went to use it for the first time.”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that. Would you mind if I had a look at it, along with your receipt? I will see what I can do for you.”

(The customer hands over the shredder. I plug it in, and presto, it works fine.)

Customer: “How did you do that? It didn’t do anything when I tried it!”

Me: “I just plugged it in and switched it on. Mayb—”

Customer: *cutting me off* “Wait, plugged in? Where?”

Me: “The power socket in the wall just down here.”

Customer: “So, it has to be plugged into a power socket?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Oh. And it won’t work without it?”

Me: “No, sir. Unfortunately, it won’t.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(The customer left with his fully-functioning shredder, looking rather embarrassed and still a little confused that his shredder wouldn’t run without power.)

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