Having To Shampoo-poo Most Of The Coupons

, , , , , , | Right | January 13, 2020

(By the end of my four-year reign as a cashier, I am pretty done with my job. We have this one regular coupon scammer who comes through the express lane with too many items to hold people up and fluster the cashier into taking her coupons. One day, I see them in my line and decide I’m done with them, too.)

Customer: *starts unloading stuff onto the belt, mostly trial-size shampoos and deodorants*

Me: *scans things extra slowly, paying attention to the items* 

Customer: “Here. Take these.” *thrusts coupons in my direction*

Me: “Of course.”

(Before scanning them, I decide to take my time reading the entirety of the fine print of the coupon while the scammer gets antsy. It’s for $1 off shampoo and unsurprisingly, excludes trial-size items.)

Customer: “Are you new? You’re just supposed to scan them. That’s how coupons work, sweetie.”

Me: *puts on my best customer service smile* “Unfortunately, this coupon says it doesn’t include trial-size items, so this type of shampoo won’t count.”

Customer: “Yeah, but if you scan it, it’ll take it off.”

Me: *scans it to humor them, and it’s rejected* “Sorry, the register won’t accept it.”

Customer: *exasperated sigh* “Well, the cashiers normally take it off anyway when the register doesn’t work.”

Me: “I wouldn’t be able to do that myself; I could get a manager—”

Customer: “Whatever! Just put the shampoos back! Try this coupon.”

(I did the same thing again as a line started to form behind them. The next coupon was the same type of deal and I said it couldn’t be accepted. I went through their whole stack of coupons and most of them weren’t usable. The scammer eventually got frustrated enough that they stormed out without buying anything and I just smiled as I put everything back in my returns bin. I know a lot of cashiers and managers usually would just put the coupons through so they wouldn’t cause a fuss but hey, sometimes it’s the petty little things in life.)

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Unfiltered Story #182265

, , | Unfiltered | January 13, 2020

The Mate and I were doing grocery shopping and needed dog food. We have 5 dogs, a couple of them large, so we buy the biggest bag of food. The dog food is at the end of the aisle, so we line up the cart parallel to the end cap, so I have a straight shot to sling the bag underneath and the Mate is holding it, so he can’t be seen from the aisle. I’ve got the bag halfway to the cart when Mr. Good Ol’ Boy offers to help. I decline, say thanks, and finish moving the bag. Then this:
MGOB: (coming around the corner & seeing the Mate) Oh, you have a man with you! >sneer at ‘Man’ letting li’l ol’ me load dog food<
Me: Yeah, I have a ‘Man’ with me. I like having him with me. That’s why I load the dog food, since his CARDIOLOGIST said he shouldn’t lift anything over 15-20 pounds. Thanks.
MGOB: slinks off, looking a lot less sure of himself.
Mate thanks me for standing up for him. I buy myself a candy bar because I’m just that spiffy. :)

Dealing With Customers Comes With A Price  

, , , | Right | January 12, 2020

(I work in a well-known high-fashion brand shop, in the accessories department. My job is to help customers find what accessory they want, whether it be a fancy bag, scarf, hat, jewellery, etc. We also get a commission for this and have to acquire a certain amount in the tills. A well-to-do, uppity woman comes stalking in and makes a beeline for me.) 

Customer: “You there! I’m looking for a burgundy bag to match my shoes! And I want you to help me!” *snaps fingers at me* 

Me: *trying not to be insulted by the gesture* “Of course. First of all, what style and size would you like? And any particular material? And also, do you have a certain price range you are wanting to spend today?”

Customer: “Price doesn’t matter, and I don’t care what style or size. I just want a bag to match my—” *talks slowly to me like a baby* “—buuuurgunnddyyyyy shoes!”

(I proceed to pick up and show her every single burgundy bag in stock, which she turns down for either being “the wrong size,” “not the right colour,” or “too floppy or stiff.” I finally find a bag in a very expensive well-known brand, which she starts ogling at.) 

Customer: *in utter excitement* “Oh, my goodness! This is the exact bag I want! It’s perfect! Oooh, I’ll take it!”

(We proceed to the tills, but not before she asks the price. The next thing I know, her tone completely changes as soon as she sees the price tag.) 

Customer: *throws hands in the air* “UGH! Why on Earth would you make me try to buy this?! It’s far too expensive! I am not buying this!”

(She proceeded to curse at me and storm out of the shop, leaving me in utter disbelief. It made me wonder why I wasted half an hour of my time on her. She even said she wasn’t bothered about the price range. Some people.)

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Unfiltered Story #182259

, , | Unfiltered | January 12, 2020

(I am waiting for service when the following occurs:)

Intercom: “Someone get your a** over to the sporting goods, I’ve been waiting for a manager a d*** half hour!”

Me: Did that really just happen?

(It is clear this is a fellow customer has made this announcement, and several other customers show their disbelief that someone would have the gall to do that. And again, a minute later:)

Intercom: “Someone with a key to the ammo case, get your booty to the sporting goods department!”

Me: Oh god, of course he owns a gun.

(I pass through the sporting goods on my way to pay and he was seriously considering breaking into the locked case to get his bullets. I made sure to get out of there before s*** hit the fan!)

Unfiltered Story #182255

, , | Unfiltered | January 12, 2020

(I work for a major retailer that sells deer corn and other hunting items.)

Customer: “Do you have any deer corn?”
Me: “Yes, it’s in the center of the aisle right over there.”
Customer: “Well next time just say you don’t have any, because THAT says DONKEY CORN on the bag!”
(Customer walks away. I walked over, looked at the bag. It reads “Donkey Corn” as the MODEL name. And there’s a big picture of a buck on the front.)