A Staple Of The Office Space Accessories

, , , , , | Working | November 7, 2017

(I’m the stupid worker in this one. I pick up the phone to make a page, but while I’m dialing I realize that the phone isn’t making a dial tone. I keep pressing buttons but don’t hear anything. I turn to my coworker as they walk up to me.)

Me: “The phone’s not working. I can’t hear a dial tone or anything.”

Coworker: “That’s a stapler.”

(I look at the object in my hand and, sure enough, I have grabbed a stapler instead of the actual phone.)

Me: “Look: it’s been a long day.”

Coworker: “Apparently!”

Ringing Up Some Gender Stereotypes

, , , , | Right | November 7, 2017

(The store where I work has a strict policy about always having someone on the floor to help customers, and that person isn’t allowed to hop on register unless it is extremely busy. I’m female and have been helping a male customer on the floor who has been perhaps a bit overly friendly, but has seemed normal enough up to this point.)

Me: “[Male Coworker] here will ring you up!”

Customer: “Aren’t you going to ring me up?”

Me: “No, [Male Coworker] is on register right now, but I promise he’ll take care of you.”

Customer: “It’s just… A man’s got to have a woman helping him, you know?”

Me: “Uh.”

Customer: “You know, you’ve got to have a man and a woman; you can’t have two guys, right? Tarzan needs his Jane; you can’t have Tarzan and Tarzan, you know?”

(The customer continued this line of bizarre rambling for another minute or so while I smiled blandly for lack of any other idea what to do, occasionally exchanging looks with my manager over the customer’s shoulder like, “WTF?” Fortunately, my coworker eventually finished with the customer he’d been helping and started ringing up this one’s items, giving my manager a moment to shoo me into the back room so I could hide until this guy left.)

No Starting Point Means No Finish

, , , , | Right | November 6, 2017

(I work in a local tile shop. We are in an industrial area that is a little out of the way, so people call for directions a lot, even though the Internet gives perfectly fine directions.)

Customer: *on phone* “How do I get to your store?”

Me: “Where are you starting from?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “I need to know where you are starting from to give you accurate directions. You can be vague, such as just saying ‘the foothills’ or telling me the local major cross streets.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you need that information.”

Me: “I can’t give accurate directions without it, because I might accidentally send you in the wrong direction. I live in on the Westside, so directions for how I get here would get someone from the Eastside lost.”

Customer: “That doesn’t make sense.”

Me: “Okay. I have to travel south to get here, and then go east. If you live south from us, you would have to go north. If you live east, you would need to go west. I need to know which direction to send you in order to get here.”

Customer: “That still doesn’t mean any sense. Just give me directions.”

Me: “Can you at least tell me the nearest major intersection to you?”

Customer: “Just give me directions!”

Me: “Okay. Do you know where [Major Street #1] is?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Are you close to [Major Interstate that goes right through town]?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you know where [Major Street #2] is?”

Customer: “Yes. “

Me: “Okay. Do you live to the east or west of that street?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “On the side closest to the mountain or the other side?”

Customer: “Close to it.”

Me: “Okay. Go south on [Major Street #2] and turn right onto [Major Street #3], and we are at the far end of the block.”

Customer: “Okay. I don’t know why that took you so long.” *hangs up*

Cents-less To Argue

, , , | Right | November 6, 2017

(I am a cashier in a discount hardware store. The store policy is to sell plastic bags for three cents, but when my manager is not on duty, my coworker and I give them away when the customers ask nicely. However, this happens after checking out a lady, when my manager is on duty.)

Customer: “Do you have a bag, please?”

Me: “I have plastic bags, and they cost three cents. Would you like one?”


(The whole store goes silent and stares at us. Completely surprised at the sudden outburst, I let her glare at me a few seconds before responding.)

Me: “That’s probably because my manager is watching us today, madam.”

Customer: *suddenly quiet* “Oh.”

(She puts her hand over her mouth, then hurries to stuff her purchases in her purse. She blushes, not looking at me anymore.)

Customer: “I didn’t say anything.”

(She hurried out of the store, avoiding eye contact. Luckily, my manager just shrugged it off.)

Locked On To That Opinion

, , , , | Right | November 6, 2017

(One day I’m working in a store at closing. Since we often have a lot of people try to rush in after closing, we have someone on duty to make sure the door pulls shut completely so it locks and to tell people we’re closed if they try to come in. I see a woman rushing toward the store with her family following her. She puts her hand on the door, then stops and says something to her family. Just as she stops at the door, a customer inside the store is leaving. As the customer inside pushes the door open, the woman pulls it open and waits for the other customer to exit before trying to come in.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we’re closed.”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’re closed.”

Customer: “Oh… You should really lock your door, then.”

Me: “It is locked, currently.”

Customer: “Well, it wasn’t just now.”

Me: “Because someone else was halfway through it. Have a good night.”

Page 6/844First...45678...Last
« Previous
Next »