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Sometimes A Little Sass Is Required For Your Sanity

, , , | Right | August 31, 2021

I’m stocking a shelf and accidentally drop an empty cardboard box. A customer picks it up before I can get there and gives it back to me, for which I thank him before putting it away.

I’m about to go back to my task when I notice him looking at me.

Me: “Can I help you?”

The customer looks at me and then at the electric buggy we use to transport heavy goods. Our staff uniform is a bright blue polo shirt that no sane person would wear voluntarily. 

Customer: “Do you work here?”

Me: “I’d hope so.”

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Cashiers Are Not Paid Enough For These Questions

, , , | Right | CREDIT: bugkween | August 31, 2021

I work at a store in my local mall that appeals to alternative and geek culture. A family comes in: grandma, mother, and daughter. The daughter is maybe in her early teens, bald, and basically, the typical teenage girl who shops at our store. They walk around for a bit and I notice that the daughter keeps excitedly pointing out things she likes and her mom and grandma keep shooting her down.

They finish shopping after about forty-five minutes and come to pay. I ring them up and the mother and grandmother are visibly displeased with the total (as if they didn’t know the prices of what they had grabbed) and the girl looks kind of uncomfortable, but then she drops a bomb on me.

Girl: “Um… Do you have a cancer discount?”

She’s looking at me with the saddest little doe eyes, as if a sixteen-year-old being paid minimum wage at a massive corporation has any say in the price of things.

I am totally taken aback. Her mother and grandmother don’t interject whatsoever. How do I answer this without looking like an a**hole?!

Me: “Umm… no, I’m sorry.”

Luckily, my manager overheard and turned around to quickly take care of the situation. He was livid when they left. I have a sneaking suspicion that the mother and grandma were telling her to say that to guilt people into giving them a discount.

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You Could Give Them Cash To Read Signs And They Still Wouldn’t

, , , , , | Right | August 30, 2021

I’m still relatively new. At one of our self-checkouts, the bill acceptor isn’t working. Due to customers not paying attention, more and more signs have been added to the register saying, “Cards only, NO CASH,” with a sign on the acceptor which is slightly off to the side, the top of the screen, the bottom of the screen, and the countertop next to the scanner, in addition to the programmed message that explains this as well and makes you to press “Okay” before continuing. So there are five warnings in all.

Customer: “I didn’t know this thing didn’t take cash. I didn’t see the sign all the way over there. You should put the sign right there instead.”

She’s pointing right at the sign on the bottom of the screen.

Me: “Ma’am, there is. And up there and down there. And I saw you press ‘Okay’ on the screen that explained that it was card only when you started.”

She silently moved over to the next register with her purchase as I canceled the transaction on the first one and came to the realization that no amount of signs and warnings will ever be enough for some customers.

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Those Card Fees Must Be Hellish

, , , , , | Right | August 30, 2021

Me: “All right, ma’am, I can take your card or cash whenever you’re ready. If you’re going to pay with debit, just hit the blue button first.”

Customer: “I would never use a debit card! They are the devil’s plastic! I’ve never carried one and I never will!”

The customer goes on a long, repetitive rant about the “devil’s plastic” and how debit cards ruin lives.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, will you be paying with cash today?”

Customer: “No, you idiot! I have a credit card!”

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Customers Need To Clean Up Their Act

, , , | Working | August 30, 2021

I’m fixing up the always messy clearance section when my boss comes over to see how it’s going. We talk about how messy the customers are, especially with the clearance section, and she drops this gem just before she walks away.

Boss: “When I get home, my husband always asks me, ‘Did you at least make it to the car before crying today?’”

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