The Blackest Of Fridays

, , , , , | Right | November 29, 2019

(It is Black Friday, 5:30 am, and I am one of the first shopping in the store. As I am standing in the very, very long line, I see a woman come in and rush towards the back. Behind her are her husband and her son, moving a bit slower.)

Mom: *yelling* “Hurry up! I have a schedule to keep to today. We have to be at [Other Store] at six!”

Dad: “Did you schedule standing in line in your plan?”

Mom: “NO!”

(I was so glad I wasn’t going to be with that family at 5:30 pm.)

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More Speaking Up Is Required, In Fiction And Real Life  

, , , | Right | November 28, 2019

(I am a short girl with scoliosis, meaning my spine is bent. I am given permission to use a stool occasionally by management. My coworker, who is black, is talking to me about a book we’ve both read.)

Coworker: “I’m just saying, the main character was kind of dumb. She could have spoken up.”

Me: “One of the biggest problems with the book was a lack of communication between the characters. That’s why everything went to h***.”

Customer: “Young lady, can you help me?”

Coworker: “I will.”

Customer: “I’d prefer it if she did.” 

Me: “What do you need?”

Customer: “I need you to reach something for me on the top shelf.”

Me: “Sorry, but I’m not allowed to climb ladders. I have a bad back. My coworker can help you, though.”

Customer: “I overheard you talking about [Book], and I absolutely agree with you. The main character was as dumb as a rock and it was a waste of my time. Now, are you going to help me or not?”

Coworker: “She can’t climb ladders, but I can. What is it you need?”

Customer: “Is there a white person who can help me?”

(This catches the attention of everyone in the vicinity, including our supervisor.)

Coworker: “Sorry, you’ll have to deal with me. What did you need?”

Customer: “I need one of those ceramic pumpkins. Are you sure she can’t help me?”

Me: “As I told you before, I have a bad back. My coworker can help you, however.”

Customer: “No, I’ll find a white person to help.”

(The customer went to our supervisor, who told her that my coworker could help. She threw up her hands and left the store. My supervisor later commended the two of us for keeping a level head and not losing our tempers.)

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Don’t Print Too Much Blue  

, , , | Right | November 28, 2019

(A customer comes in looking for some ink for his printer.)

Customer: “I need some ink for [printer model].”

Me: “That printer takes [cartridge models]. You can find them on that shelf there.” *points to cartridges*

Customer: “Okay, but why do they have to call them these funny names? Why can’t they just be called red, yellow, and blue? Anyhow, I need the red one. Is that magenta?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “And so the cyanide must be the blue one?”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Um… yeah. Yes. The cyan is the blue.”

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Will Need An “I’m Sorry” Card

, , , , , | Working | November 28, 2019

(I work at a small store where it’s just me, the store manager, and one other employee most of the time. I open on most days, and the manager closes on most days. After I get home, at the time the manager would be closing the store, I get a text:)

Manager: “Before you ask tomorrow… it just happened.”

Me: “What did?”

Manager: “Not saying. Tried fixing it a little. The rest tomorrow.”

Me: “Should I be worried?”

Manager: “We’ll find out tomorrow.”

(The next day as I am opening the store, I am looking everywhere for something amiss. And then, I spot the two free-standing racks of greeting cards. I send my manager another text.)

Me: “1. You’re a jerk; I was fearing the worst. 2. How did you destroy the cards that badly? 3. You’re fixing it.”

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Can’t Say The K-Word

, , | Right | November 27, 2019

(I work at a large department store. I am serving at a register when an elderly woman approaches me.)

Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Hello. I need help with ladieswear. I’m travelling next month and I’m going to a country where it will be quite cool. I need knicker brown pants, light material, with pockets, that I can throw into a suitcase and then take out and wear immediately.”

(I have no idea what she means by “knicker brown,” but dismiss it.)

Me: “Well, it’s winter here, so, unfortunately, we really only have warm pants, but I think we might have a pair in [Brand]. Hey, [Coworker], can you help me find these pants?”

Coworker: “Here they are.”

Customer: “No, I’m afraid these won’t do. They’re a bit thick, and they’re too light. I need n***** brown pants.”

(My coworker and I exchange looks, but we really have no idea how to process what she’s just said.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “They need to be n***** brown, you see.”

Me: “Um, I’m afraid that all of our… dark brown pants are warmer material than what you need.”

Customer: *cheerfully* “Oh, never mind, dears. Thanks for your help!” *wanders off*

Me: “What just happened?”

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