If You Cut The Line We Cut The Cheese

, , , , , , | Right | November 1, 2017

(The store has multiple cash registers, but only one line. It is very busy, and I am in line, when a woman pushes her way past everyone else waiting and starts unloading her basket at a register that still has another customer trying to finish their purchase.)

Cashier: “Miss, you need to go back and wait in line, please.”

Customer: “No! I’m in a hurry, and I don’t have time for that!”

(The argument started. While the cashier was trying as best she could to get the woman to act like a reasonable adult, the guy in front of me wandered over next to the rude woman, circled back, and in a quiet voice muttered, “That’ll teach her!” and walked back towards the sales floor. No one else in line had any idea what he had done until the woman started yelling and gagging from the horrible “crop dusting.”)

Giving You Something To Wine About

, , , , , , , | Right | November 1, 2017

(I’m working the closing shift at a drugstore. About an hour before we close, the manager notices someone has been in the women’s restroom for about half an hour. The manager goes to talk to her, and this happens:)

Manager: *knocking on door* “Ma’am, are you okay?”

Lady In Bathroom: “UHH!”

Me: “What’s going on?”

Manager: “She won’t talk to me. I’m going to call the police.”

(A sheriff’s deputy arrives shortly after.)

Officer: *knocking on door* “This is the police. Is everything all right?”

Lady In Bathroom: “UHH!”

(The police officer entered to investigate, and the lady was taken out of the store on a stretcher. I thought she might have just gotten sick, but after closing, while I was cleaning the bathrooms, there was vomit everywhere and I found a half-empty box of wine next to the toilet that the lady must’ve stolen off the shelf before drinking in the bathroom.)

A Lawless Rabble

, , , , , | Right | October 31, 2017

(I’m the last in line and there’s only one cashier — perhaps the only employee in the whole store. She finishes ringing out the first customer, then puts a closed sign on her register.)

Cashier: “I’m so sorry, but I’m required to take a break right now.”

(She quickly leaves before the grumbling starts. The other three customers in line are furious.)

Customer #1: “I can’t believe this! What a lazy b****!”

Customer #2: “You’d think the store would care that there. Are. Customers. In. LINE.”

Customer #3: “I’m calling her manager. I’ll have her fired!”

Me: *finally deciding enough is enough* “Denver requires companies to give breaks, even if you’re the only one working.”

(They round on me, then stop. I’m a tiny woman in a wheelchair, and that seems to give them pause.)

Customer #2: *red-faced* “Well… Well, I guess if it’s the law.”

(They turned back around and patiently waited. The cashier was back within five minutes, but they didn’t say a word.)

I’ll Come Back And Get Them Five Years Ago

, , , , | Working | October 31, 2017

(I’ve decided to purchase some skincare products from a well-known retailer. I ask the woman at the counter to help me pick the best products for my skin type, and she has me sit in a chair while she demonstrates what products will be best for me.)

Worker: “And this is our under-eye cream. It’s great at reducing puffiness and dark circles.”

Me: “Oh, really? Well, I was only planning on getting the cleanser.”

Worker: “Are you sure? You have really dark circles under your eyes. I mean, they’re probably the worst I’ve ever seen. Let me show you how much better you’ll look with this cream.”

Me: “Sure, go ahead.”

(She proceeds to apply the cream, and then holds up a mirror for me to see.)

Worker: “See how much better you look?”

Me: “Not really. I don’t see a difference.”

Worker: “Well, trust me; you look a lot better. And you might think that it’s not a big deal, but those dark circles are going to be a big problem once you turn twenty-five.”

Me: “Twenty-five?”

Worker: “Yeah.”

Me: “Oh. Well, I’m thirty. So, I’ll just be getting the cleanser set.”

The Law Is A Sticking Point

, , , , , | Working | October 31, 2017

(I am putting out stock that was packed away. The stock was discounted, but now is back to full price. I am peeling off the price stickers.)

Manager: “[My Name], what are you doing?”

Me: “I have to remove the stickers from these.”

Manager: “But it says $7.99; that’s the right price.”

Me: “No, that’s $1.99. It would be good if I could leave it at that.”

Manager: “Oh, yeah, it is. They have to be done; they need to be full price. Just get a pen and change the one to a seven.”

Me: “I can’t do that.”

Manager: “Why not?”

Me: “Ah, because it’s illegal.”

Manager: “Oh, yeah. It is, isn’t it? You better get peeling, then.”

(I sat for the best part of two hours peeling stickers off a few hundred items, only to have to reprice them back down to $1.99 two weeks later.)

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