(This takes place in a very small town. There’s only one school, and everyone knows everyone. There is only one supermarket for the whole town, and I’m working there during the school holidays. A customer approaches, and he’s someone I vaguely recognize from school, a few years younger than I am.)
Customer: “I’m looking for a drink.”
Me: *working in the drinks aisle, stocking up the drinks* “Sure, our juice and water are here, and our soft drink is at the other end of the store.”
Customer: “It’s a juice.”
Me: “What kind of juice?”
Customer: “It’s red.”
(I’ve got a sinking feeling; this is not going to be easy.)
Me: “Well, as you can see, our drinks are over here. Why don’t you look at them, and grab the one you’re after?”
(He goes away and stares at the shelves for a few minutes, then comes back to me.)
Customer: “I can’t see it.”
Me: “Well, this is the only juice in the store. Are you sure it wasn’t a soft drink? They’re at the other end of the store.”
(The customer wanders away for a few minutes, then comes back.)
Customer: “I couldn’t find it.”
Me: *beginning to lose the ability to sound friendly, but the customer doesn’t notice* “Well, these are the only drinks we have. Are you sure you got it here?”
Customer: “I don’t know. My mom bought it.”
Me: “Do you remember what it’s called?”
Customer: “No. It’s red.”
Me: *having completely lost the ability to sound professional, but the customer hasn’t noticed* “Look. I don’t know what you want. I don’t know the name, and these are the only drinks we have. If it’s not here, we don’t have it.”
Customer: “Oh.”
(He wanders away for a few minutes, then comes back again. I glare at him.)
Me: “Yes?”
Customer: “I remembered something. It makes this noise.” *taps his fingernail against the metal shelves* “But not this noise.” *taps his fingernail against a plastic bottle* “It’s a bit like this.” *taps his fingernail against a different plastic bottle* “But not like this.” *taps his fingernail against a THIRD plastic bottle*
(I glare at him for a moment, then take a look at the bottles. The “a bit like this” bottle is very rigid, but the other two are soft. I take a wild guess, and find a glass bottle.)
Me: “Do you mean it had a bottle like this?”
Customer: *goes over and taps the glass bottle* “Yeah! Just like that. Except it was red.”
(This narrows it down a lot, as we only stock two kinds of red juice in a glass bottle.)
Me: “Then you probably want this–” *points to one bottle* “—or this. *points to the other*
(The customer goes away and looks at the bottles, while I try and finish stocking the shelves as fast as possible. But he comes back.)
Customer: “It’s not those.”
Me: “Those are the only red juice in a glass bottle we have. If it’s not one of those, we don’t have it.”
Customer: “Mom got it here, I think.”
Me: “If it’s not one of those, then I can’t help you. Can’t you remember anything useful? A name?”
Customer: “She put water in it.”
Me: “Wait. You mean cordial? A concentrate?”
Customer: “She put water in it.”
(I sigh, and go to the cordial aisle. I point him at the bottles.)
Me: “Here. If it’s not here, we don’t have it, and I can’t help you.”
(I’m trying not to shout, and not entirely succeeding. If my supervisor had heard me, I’d have been suspended. I go back to my shelf stocking, and a minute later the customer returns holding a bottle.)
Customer: “I got it.”
Me: “Congratulations.”
(He seems to want to talk, but I ignore him and get back to work. He leaves, and comes back a minute later.)
Me: “What is it now?!”
Customer: “Can you buy this for me?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “Please?”
Me: “NO! I am not buying you a drink!”
Customer: “I can give you the money.”
Me: *confused* “Then why do you need me to buy it?”
Customer: *looking nervous* “But… there are girls over there!”
(Having spent twenty agonising minutes dealing with this idiot, this was the final straw. I walked away as fast as I could, and hid in the back room for the next quarter of an hour until my shift ended.)