There’s No Such Thing As Two Stupid Questions

| | Right | September 14, 2009

Customer: “What is the parking pavilion for?”

Me: “This is the main parking lot for the museum.”

Customer: “And how much is the the…” *strains to read sign* “…free shuttle?”

Me: “It’s completely free to ride. It runs until 8 pm.”

Customer: “…at night?”

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Have Customer, Will Poke

| | Right | July 13, 2009

(At the museum where I work, I see a patron knocking on one of our replicas with his knuckles.)

Patron, to wife: “Hey look, honey. This here is a replica!” *knocks again*

Me: “Sir, please don’t touch that.”

Patron: “But it’s a replica, isn’t it?”

Me: “Yes, it is, but we still ask that you don’t touch it.”

Patron: “Well, it’s not under a glass case, which means that it is not valuable. I have every right to touch it.”

Me: “No, actually–”

Patron: “Yes! If I see something that’s not cased, it means I can touch it, AND I WILL TOUCH IT!”

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The Geese Will Never Know What Hit ‘Em

| | Right | June 18, 2009

(At our gardens, we use dogs to chase geese away from delicate areas. I encounter two elderly patrons who are clearly unhappy.)

Patron #1: “I think it’s disgusting that they allow dogs here.”

Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am, the dog is an employee. He has a name tag and a paycheck.”

Patron #2: “Then why don’t the employees chase the geese away?”

Me: “That’s because the geese are meaner than we are. If you think you can do a better job, feel free to!”

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Please Do Not Titillate The Employees

| | Right | February 11, 2009

(I’m 17 and am volunteering at the museum for a ride that takes you on a trip to Mars.)

Customer: “Excuse me, can my son go in there?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, ma’am. There’s no room and this is the last ride.”

Customer: “Hmph.” *drags her son away and whispers something to him*

Customer’s son: “Um, hi.”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Customer’s son: “My mom told me to flirt with you so I could see the ride.”

Me: “Uh… yeah. I can’t let you do that.”

Customer’s son: “Okay.” *goes back to his mother*

Customer: “Well, fine then, young lady. I want to see your manager.”

Me: “Okay, he’s the man over there in the blue shirt with gold collars.”

Customer: “I’m going to tell him you won’t flirt with my son!” *goes away and takes her son with her*

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

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