Jurassic Lark

| Houston, TX, USA | Right | March 1, 2010

Customer: “Excuse me, but are all of these things real?”

Me: “Sorry, are you talking about the artifacts on my cart? Some of these are replicas, because the real things are too breakable to touch.”

Customer: “No, I mean the exhibit.” *points to the dinosaur exhibit*

Me: “Dinosaurs did exist millions of years ago beginning in the Triassic Period, but about 65 million years ago the dinosaurs went extinct.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I thought the museum was making it up to attract visitors.”

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Un-Beaver-able

| | Right | January 18, 2010

Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering if every creature you have a statue of is actually living?”

Me: “Yes sir, everything you see in here you can find somewhere in the wilderness.”

Customer: “Then why do you have a beaver?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You heard me. If everything in here is actually a living creature then why do you have beavers?”

Me: “Well sir, beavers are living creatures. Haven’t you ever seen one in the pond down the road?”

Customer: “What? Beavers are real? My whole life I thought they were mythical creatures.”

(The customer walks away, looking lost and confused.)

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There’s No Such Thing As Two Stupid Questions

| | Right | September 14, 2009

Customer: “What is the parking pavilion for?”

Me: “This is the main parking lot for the museum.”

Customer: “And how much is the the…” *strains to read sign* “…free shuttle?”

Me: “It’s completely free to ride. It runs until 8 pm.”

Customer: “…at night?”

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Have Customer, Will Poke

| | Right | July 13, 2009

(At the museum where I work, I see a patron knocking on one of our replicas with his knuckles.)

Patron, to wife: “Hey look, honey. This here is a replica!” *knocks again*

Me: “Sir, please don’t touch that.”

Patron: “But it’s a replica, isn’t it?”

Me: “Yes, it is, but we still ask that you don’t touch it.”

Patron: “Well, it’s not under a glass case, which means that it is not valuable. I have every right to touch it.”

Me: “No, actually–”

Patron: “Yes! If I see something that’s not cased, it means I can touch it, AND I WILL TOUCH IT!”

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The Geese Will Never Know What Hit ‘Em

| | Right | June 18, 2009

(At our gardens, we use dogs to chase geese away from delicate areas. I encounter two elderly patrons who are clearly unhappy.)

Patron #1: “I think it’s disgusting that they allow dogs here.”

Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am, the dog is an employee. He has a name tag and a paycheck.”

Patron #2: “Then why don’t the employees chase the geese away?”

Me: “That’s because the geese are meaner than we are. If you think you can do a better job, feel free to!”

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