I run a business online selling handmade items. I’m firm in my prices, and I only do free or discounted work for personal friends. I get an email one day regarding a product I have listed.

Sender: “Hi. I’m wondering if you could do any customization for [product]?”

Me: “Depending on what you want done, yes.”

They send a brief description of what they want.

Me: “I can do that. It’ll be [amount] for what you want.”

The cost is only a tiny bit more than the standard version of what they’re requesting.

Sender: “Oh, can I just pay you [low amount]? I’ve got a few hundred followers on Instagram that I can promote you to!”

Me: “Unfortunately, I only accept monetary payment.”

Sender: “But you charge so much! I’m sure some of my followers will buy from you when I post about it!”

It’s pretty clear that they just want cheap stuff. I’ve had people try to haggle, both online and when I do in-person sales.

Me: “I can’t take a loss over a few more potential sales. [Low amount] wouldn’t even cover shipping for [product]. And I have a few thousand followers on Instagram, plus other social media. I set my prices to what they are based on the cost of materials, the time it takes to make it, and what similar products average at. If you would like a custom [product], you can pay [amount].”

Shockingly, they stopped replying.

There’s a family that always comes into the small mom & pop place where I work and never tip.

One day after they’ve left I notice there’s $2 on the table! Not a great tip, but they had finally left one. I pocket the money, wipe the table, go to reset it, and then I realize: the salt & pepper shakers are gone.

They hadn’t tipped, they’d gone shopping!

During the convention season, my small game company has a booth selling our products in the dealer’s room. We have a rather hot and heavy four days of sales activity with hyper-kinetic gamer geeks flush with cash and caffeine buying everything.

Customer: “We saw [Expensive Luxury Game] at [Other Store] and it was $50 cheaper.”

Me: “Great. You should buy it.”

Customer: “Don’t you want to beat their deal?”

Me: “I am literally the manufacturer of [Expensive Luxury Game]. [Other Store] bought their game either from me or from a distributor, who bought it from me. In either case, I already got paid for it once.”

Customer: *Looking victorious* “Then why should I buy it from you?”

Me: “No reason, really. Most of those games are bought from other sellers, not from my company directly. Maybe it’s cool to get it directly from the designer. I can sign it if you want.”

The customer walked off, kind of annoyed. Later, they came back and bought a copy from me without any discount.

I’m a third-party delivery driver. We have this woman who orders hundreds of dollars’ worth of food from different restaurants; sushi, pizza, Mexican, Chinese, etc. She never tips. Ever.

I frequently get her orders. Sometimes she pays cash; our platform allows this.

Me: “Your total is $250.20.”

Customer: “I’d like to round down.” *Hands me $250.00.*

You get the picture. Today, though, I have had enough and I tell the business owner of the platform:

Me: “If she pulls that stunt again, I will say something to her.”

She orders $150 worth of pizza. No tip. Requests a no-contact delivery. My time has come. When I drop off her food, I write a note:

Note: “Your life must be pretty sad if you get your laughs out of ordering hundreds of dollars’ worth of food for no tip. We all pass on your orders constantly for it. I only brought it to you out of pity. PS: my boss knows about this note 😊.”

The effect was swift. I told the owner of what I’d done, and he asked for a timestamp of the photo (I’d taken a photo of the note). He compared it to the time and day I’d taken that order. He then proceeded to look at her order history. Every order after the one I left her the note ripping her apart had a 25% tip ever since.

It’s about 10:30 in the morning and the drive-thru is pretty busy.

Customer: “I’ll have two plain bagels and a corn muffin.”

Me: “Did you want anything on the bagels?”

Customer: “No, but can you slice them?”

Me: “Of course, that’s not a problem. Would you like any drinks today?”

Customer: “No, thank you, just the bagels and muffin.”

Me: “Okay, your total is [total]. Please drive up!”

She comes to the window and decides that she wants to add on another muffin at the window. Fine, this happens, and she has a buy-one-get-one-free coupon. Why she didn’t ask for this at the menu board is beyond me, but it happens. Her total is still the same, anyway. She then gives [Coworker], the employee at the window, all change.

This also happens a lot, but I understand that sometimes you run out of the house without your money or you leave your card at home but you really want your food and drinks.

But then she shorts [Coworker], and this is where it goes downhill.

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re $0.70 short.”

Customer: “I gave you exact change.”

My coworker counts it again and gets the same result as he got previously.

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re short $0.70.”

Customer: “You’re counting it wrong!”

Coworker: “I recounted it and I got the same result.”

Customer: “Well, you’re wrong.”

Coworker: “I’ll count it again.”

Again he counts it and again he gets the same result.

Coworker: “You’re short by $0.70.”

She demands a manager, and I come to the window. She demands that I recount her change. I do. She’s still short. Obviously fuming at this point, she then rummages in her car and bag for more change. Slowly. Very, very slowly.

Then, she decides that she wants cream cheese on her bagels.

At this point, she’s been here for five minutes. I have a line around the building and customers behind her in line honking at her, loudly and consistently. I’m just trying to get her out as soon as possible.

Me: “I can sell you cream cheese on the side, sure.”

Customer: “I need it on the bagels.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we really don’t have the time. You can come inside and wait for it or get it on the side.”

Customer: “I need it on the bagel because I’m late for work!”

All I can think is, “You’re late for work, but you can manage to look through every little spot of your purse to find change?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I can’t do that for you. Your total is [higher total].”

Customer: “But you said it was [total]!”

Me: “Right, but you added on cream cheese.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “Well, that costs money.”

Customer: “I have a free muffin, though!”

Me: “Right, but it’s buy one get one free, which means you still have to pay for one. And if you want cream cheese, you have to pay for that, as well.”

She continues to search for more change and as she snipes at me.

Customer: “You know, this is unbelievable.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you added stuff on at the window, and I allowed it even though I’m not supposed to. Paying in all change is okay, but we’ve had to recount everything multiple times because you short-changed us.”

The customer gives me a long, drawn-out sigh. I say nothing.

She glances at me out of the corner of her eyes and then sighs again, louder, crossing her arms for emphasis.

Me: *Monotone* “Your total is [total].”

She heaves a third, even louder sigh, then uncrosses and re-crosses her arms, sticking out her bottom lip in a pout and doing a kind of rocking motion like a toddler adding emphasis to their displeasure.

Finally, slowly, she opens her wallet. She pulls out a $20 bill and then stares at it for a deliberately long time.

Me: “Ma’am, would you like to pay with that?”

She just shakes her head no and continues to stare at the money without doing anything else.

Me: “Ma’am, I am getting sick of your games. Either pay the full amount or leave without anything.”

Customer: “You know, I could call out of work and just sit here.”

Me: “You know, I could call the police and have them tow your car and issue you a ticket.”

Apparently, my tone of voice made it clear that she had crossed a line, because she finally paid the proper amount, took her food, and drove off.

She tried to call in a complaint, but I was the only manager in the building. She was shocked and appalled to find that I had the power and authority to ban her. She tried going on a rant about customer service, but I hung up on her without another word. She hasn’t returned.